Kellet's blog

Something for Nothing

2011-12-24T13:57:00.000-08:00

I love getting something for nothing! Or at least something for almost nothing. I like coupons (free money!), Picking apples and grapes from my yard (free food), and I LOVE the library (free books!).

It is especially nice when the free stuff is better than the costly equivalent. Compost, for example, is absolutely free to make. You can make it as complicated as you like, measure its temperature and so on, or you can just dump plant-type stuff in a pile on the ground and let it rot. Either way you get “black gold”, which will improve your garden soil immensely, especially if you live here on the Anoka sand plain.

Homemade stock is better than store-bought, too. Store-bought is too salty, and has less body. To make stock, take that turkey carcass and boil it for a while with some vegetables. Maybe you saved the carcass (isn’t that a good word?) from Thanksgiving? To my mind, Christmas is a beef holiday, but I know many people eat turkey for Christmas dinner.

Just like compost, you can make this complicated if you want to, buying high quality carrots, adding leeks, browning the bones just so, but I like simple. I like using the ends of carrots, celery and onions that otherwise go to waste (not really, they go to compost). I throw in herbs if I have any, or vegetables that are wilty, like green onions. I don’t use stuff that is rotten, just a little past its prime. I save it in the freezer until I have enough for a batch of stock. I do the same with the turkey, or chicken part of it. Bones, wings, skin, necks and gizzards, these are all good. The more you save, the stronger your stock will be. When you are done, freeze the stock in the amounts you want. Extra points for re-using sour cream or cool-whip containers (free Tupperware!).

Well, after you boil your turkey and fish out the bones, save the breast bone. It makes a great Santa sleigh! You may think I’m joking, but this was one of my favorite Christmas decorations as a child. It looks better if you spray paint it gold. Those of you who know my mother may now giggle.

Just so you know, my children are still rolling on the floor after seeing this breastbone sleigh.

Turkey Stock

Put turkey and/or chicken bones and skin in a big pot. Add vegetables, cut into chunks. Celery, carrots and onions are required, potato peelings, asparagus bits a little squishy tomato are all good additions. Stinky things like broccoli and turnips are not so great. Add water to cover the bones and boil for at least an hour. Put it in a crock-pot if you have things to do. Cool it, strain it, remove fat from the top, freeze it. If it gels when cool, that is a good sign. Discard the boiled bones and vegys. Not in the compost, it may attract rats! Don't add salt until you are ready to eat whatever you are making with this. It will need salt, but not until then.

The Nerd Demographic

2011-08-16T17:57:00.000-07:00

Once again, I find myself firmly in the section of the population that can be labeled "Nerd". I don't even mean to do it, I just embrace something I think is great and then later find out that just about everyone else who likes this same thing identifies themselves as dorky.

Case in point, my whole family has just finished watching the series "Firefly". We loved, loved, loved it! It is a space opera from the early 2000's starring Nathan Fillian and Gina Torres. It only lasted one season, then was cancelled. The outrage of fans resulted in a movie ("Serenity"), but that was the end. Forever. (I didn't just like this show because my soon-to-be-off-to-college son sat next to me as we watched it, that was a bonus).

We googled the show to see a clip of Nathan Fillian on his new show, "Castle" in the costume of his character from "Firefly". We found several Utube clips with Sheldon (head nerd from "The Big Bang Theory") expressing his love for all things Firefly. Hmmmm... Another thing Sheldon and the Ose family have in common.

The geeky incidents continue, even when I am trying my hardest to be cool. Last night I got all dressed up in my nicest flowered dress and went to a garden party with my elegant lady friends. (These are the same friends I brought half-cooked rice pudding to a year ago).

A word about these gardens: a very nice woman named Claire has worked her back yard up into a truly beautiful landscape. She does photography, and rents the space out for weddings, proposals, tea parties and tours. Look at her website, http://godsgardensbyclaire.com to see what I mean. Last night was a gorgeous night, the flowers are blooming, the bees were buzzing, butterflies were flitting. I was in disguise as an elegant matron, sniffing roses and chatting with a graduate of Wellesley College.

Then I felt a tremendous pain in my side! Was it a cattle prod? Was I having some sort of stroke? No, a bumblebee had flown up my flowery dress and was now trapped and very unhappy. By the way, it is a lie that the little beasts can only sting once. It stung me many times before I got rid of it. The geeky part is how goofy I looked trying to decide if it was worse to continue being stung or to take off my clothes in a stranger's back yard with 20 women I am trying desperately to impress! I started pulling the skirt up, but at the sight of my fish-belly white thighs I had to abandon that plan, it was too horrible to contemplate! So I kept jerking and smiling and trying not to swear like a sailor. I finally got hold of the critter through the fabric and squished it. My nice friends were all for trying to help me get the stinger out, but I swore I was fine and finished out the night. This morning I had a welt the size of the palm of my hand on my side pork.

You can dress a dork up, but you can't take her anywhere!

Naturally, I needed painkiller. This would have been poetic justice...

Bee Sting Liqueur
Yield: 1 1/2 pints
4 md Navel oranges
1 md Lemon
3 c Vodka
1 1/8 c Honey
8 dr Yellow food coloring; opt.
1 dr Red food coloring; opt.
1 ts Glycerine; opt.
Rinse and dry the oranges and the lemon. Use the shredding side of a cheese grater to scrape only the orange part off the oranges; be careful not to scrape off the white, bitter part. Scrape the peel off half the lemon the same way. Put the orange and lemon zests in a glass jar; add the vodka. Seal tightly and let steep for 3 days in a cool, shaded place, shaking the jar once a day. Strain the flavored vodka into a clean bowl; whisk in the honey until it dissolves and the mixture clears. Stir in the optional colorings and glycerine. Pour the liquid into a clean glass bottle, or bottles, seal tightly, and allow to mature for at least a week before using. Store at room temperature.

CSI Ramsey

2011-06-29T11:33:00.001-07:00

We had a forensic mystery in the house the other day. The boys brought a strange mark on the wall to my attention. It was in the stairway, and it took me a while to figure out what it was.

It was a double drip of blood! Kind of horseshoe shaped, with obvious dripping. I do watch CSI (the LasVegas edition, I can't stand David Caruso and his cheesy "Smell-the-Fart" acting) so the words "cast-off" and "directional spatter" were on my mind. We examined both the pets, and found no damage. I inspected Mr. Ose for damage and he was also fine. He's kind of a tough guy, flesh wounds mean nothing to him.

At this point, I remembered the bleeding walls in various horror movies (Amityville Horror?) and wondered if Lutherans can make Holy Water or if I had to take a Ziplok over to the Catholic church.

That is when I found what I thought was a grape skin on the carpet. Looking at it more closely, I saw that it had legs. Putting our forensic evidence together, I deduced that the dog must have had one of those really big wood ticks, that had become engorged until it was the size of a grape, like this one:

It must have fallen off the dog while she was walking on the stairs, and then somebody stepped on it, squirting the dog's blood onto the wall. All together now, EEEEEWWWWW!

It is good to know that if I get tired of teaching, I can get a job in the police lab. I like giving you recipes that relate to the blog, so here is a recipe for grape salad. Try not to think about big fat wood ticks when you eat it.

Oh, fine, if that is too nasty to contemplate, let's try this: It took a lot of scrubbing to get the dried blood off the wall. So much so that I scrubbed through the paint. Luckily, we are repainting for Nate's graduation party. The color I chose is called "Asparagus". It is REALLY green.

So today's BONUS recipe for the squeamish is for asparagus. I may never eat grapes again.

Bonus forensic fact: Asparagus will make human urine smell different/strange/extra stinky. Studies have shown that it affects all human urine, but only 22% of people have the autosomal genes necessary to smell the difference.

Grape salad

4# of seedless grapes (green or purple)
1 8oz package of cream cheese
1 8 oz container sour cream
1/2 cup white sugar
1 tsp vanilla extract
4 ounces chopped pecans
2 tbsp brown sugar

Wash and dry grapes. In a large bowl, combine cream cheese, sour cream, vanilla, and white sugar. Add grapes and mix until evenly incorporated. Sprinkle with brown sugar and pecans, mix again and refrigerate until serving.

You can also use fat free cream cheese and low fat sour cream, and 1/2 cup splenda instead of white sugar, and it tastes just as good.

Asparagus with Lemon-Mint Sauce

2 lbs asparagus, trim and steam until tender (I microwave it)

1 Tbls butter

2 Tbls fresh lemon juice

Zest from the lemon

1/4 cup minced fresh mint leaves

Mix butter, juice, zest and mint, heat (a quick zap will do it) until butter melts and pour over cooked asparagus.

Bittersweet

2011-06-16T11:06:00.001-07:00

Pinkle Purr

by A. A. Milne

Tattoo was the mother of Pinkle Purr,
A little black nothing of feet and fur;
And by-and-by, when his eyes came through,
He saw his mother, the big Tattoo.
And all that he learned he learned from her.
"I'll ask my mother," says Pinkle Purr.

Tattoo was the mother of Pinkle Purr,
A ridiculous kitten with silky fur.
And little black Pinkle grew and grew
Till he got as big as the big Tattoo.
And all that he did he did with her.
"Two friends together," says Pinkle Purr.

Tattoo was the mother of Pinkle Purr,

An adventurous cat in a coat of fur.
And whenever he thought of a thing to do,
He didn't much bother about Tattoo,
For he knows it's nothing to do with her,
So "See you later," says Pinkle Purr.

Tattoo is the mother of Pinkle Purr,
An enormous leopard with coal-black fur.
A little brown kitten that's nearly new
Is now playing games with its big Tattoo…
And Pink looks lazily down at her:
"Dear little Tat," says Pinkle Purr.

My little Pinkle Purr, Nathan, graduated from high school last week. I was fine until I saw him in his cap and gown and almost didn't recognize him. He looked so grown-up! It's one thing to know that an 18 year old is an adult, it's another thing to see it. To feel it.

When he was first born, a co-worker told me that he would never be as close to me or need me as much as he did that day. That every day, if I was doing my job right, Nate would get farther away from me and need me just a little bit less. It hurt but it was true.

Paul and I did our jobs right. He is going off to Duluth for college in the fall and won't need us to take care of him anymore. But because we did our jobs right, we will always be connected and he will always be ours. (Even if we have to share him)

This is one of those things that"hurt so good". It is right that he grows up, but dang, I'm already feeling the big hole he will leave in the house. Everyone who has ever had a child feels this, it isn't new or unique. Right now I'm concentrating on freaking out about his open house later this summer. I had the first open house nightmare last night. In it, I poisoned everyone with bad tuna salad.

These are Nate's favorite brownies. Use bittersweet chocolate to really feel my pain.

Nate's Brownies

50 caramels (1 pkg)
1/2 cup evaporated milk (not sweetened condensed milk)
1 pkg German chocolate cake mix
1/2 cup evaporated milk
3/4 cup melted margarine
1 cup nuts
1 6 or 8 oz pkg of chocolate chips or chopped bittersweet chocolate

Melt caramels and 1/2 cup milk together. Mix cake mix with other 1/2 cup milk, margarine and nuts. Put half of mixture in buttered 9x13 pan. Bake 6 minutes at 350 degrees. Remove from oven and sprinkle with chocolate. Pour melted caramels over chocolate. Spoon remaining batter over caramel - don't worry about holes- batter will spread. Bake at 350 for 15-18 minutes. It is better to undercook brownies than to overcook them. These must cool before you can cut them.

Makin' Me Nutty

2011-04-11T14:52:00.000-07:00

People are making me nutty. It's not even so much the insults as the fact that they believe they have the right to talk to me that way! GRRR.... Keep it up and there will be an unpleasant explosion. Just sayin'.

To relieve stress and restore sanity, I am a big believer in craft therapy. I do a lot of crafts, (as I apparently need a lot of therapy). I scrapbook, knit, cross-stitch, punch-needle and quilt. I make my own soap. I melt glass to make beads and make jewelry. I switch back and forth depending on what project is stuck in my head and won't get out until I do it.

Lately, I've been dyeing fabric in interesting ways. Non-quilters are mystified by this and always ask,"Now what are you going to do with it?", quilters understand that it is process art. The fun is in the doing. Also, we believe that there is no such thing as too much fabric.

I made good use of some snow earlier this spring to do snow-dyeing. You put snow on top of fabric and the put the dye on the snow. As it melts, it dyes the fabric. Very cool!

That was so much fun that I decided to try to dye fabric with an oatmeal resist. You cook up the oatmeal (we had some new kind of instant that the kids hated, so I used that) and spread it on the pretreated fabric.
Here my friend Palmer the visiting lab is very interested in how good the art smells. Maybe a little lick? After it dries, you spread on thickened dye. The directions said to use some special thickener, but I used cornstarch and microwaved it and it was just fine.
The red was beautiful, but reminded me a little of Bella Swan's last birthday party. I also did a nice blue. The hard part was waiting 4 hours for it to set in. Do yourself a favor and wash this off outside, with the hose. You don't want that much oatmeal going down your drain.

Look at how nice that turned out! I am very pleased and I didn't have the urge to smack the annoying people all day. Sadly, today is another day and some of them are busy pushing my buttons already. Great. Maybe I need to try sugar therapy.

Here is Grandma Elly's recipe for Nutty Bars.

Nutty Bars
1 cup (2 sticks) margarine
1 cup brown sugar
Cream margarine and sugar and add:
1 egg yolk
1/2 tsp vanilla
2 cups flour
Pat this mixture into a greased 9x13 pan and bake at 350 15-18 minutes until golden brown. Cool a bit.
Topping:
6 oz butterscotch chips
1/2 cup light corn syrup
2 Tbls Margarine
1 Tbls water
1 (12oz) can salted mixed nuts (the kind with no peanuts)

Mix chips, syrup, margarine and water in saucepan until chips are melted. Stir in nuts and spread over crust. Bake 7-8 minutes at 350. cool before cutting into small squares.

This seems awfully familiar, did I already give you this recipe? Oh, well, I told you I was nutty.

(Up and) Down on the Bayou

2011-02-14T14:15:00.000-08:00

That's my Dad and me. Until Thursday he lived in Louisiana. My brother Chris and I went down to fetch him last week. My dad was a brilliant engineer once upon a time. When I was born he worked for Lockheed on the space program. I guess that makes him a rocket scientist!

Unfortunately, he isn't so great with people. He and my mom divorced when I was 5. They remarried and divorced again. He married a woman named Darlene with a son named Charles. It didn't last long.

He next married a nice woman named Barb with 4 sons and a daughter. I was thrilled to have a big sister and 2 big brothers! It was fun to be part of a big family. Chris and I helped our youngest step brothers with their paper routes. The bonding I had hoped for with the 2 oldest never happened, but I had a little crush on one big brother. We all went camping and sailing, it was odd to share our dad, but having more siblings was worth it. In the space of time between weekend visits, Dad and Barb broke up. Chris and I never saw Barb or her family again. Dad moved down south after that.

That is Chris with Dad. We never met wife #5 (if you count our mother as #1 and #2). Our sweet Grandma said Dad should give up on marriage and just get a dog. Wife #6 was named Jerry. They were married nearly twenty years and were separated and planning to divorce when Dad had his first stroke. Jerry took him back and took over his care until her death last month. Dad said he wanted to come home to Minnesota, so Chris found him a room in a beautiful nursing home equidistant from our homes. Thursday was a long travel day that nobody enjoyed, but dad is safe and sound at his new place.

Jerry had 3 children. This is her daughter, Jamie. This is a TERRIBLE photo of her. Jamie is actually very slim and pretty and does not have even a hint of a double chin in real life! Jamie picked us up at the airport, drove us to Dad and Jerry's house and gave us the keys to the house and the car. She packed up dad's clothes and made multiple trips to check on him before and after he went to the care facility there. She told us to take whatever we wanted our Dad to have from the house. She texted several times a day to see if we needed anything. Chris lived with Dad, Jerry and Jamie for 5 years in the 80's and referred to Jamie as our stepsister. Which she is. I just never thought of her that way. Maybe I thought she'd disappear, too. This makes me sad, because I could have had a relationship with her all these years. When we thanked her for her kindness, she said, "Well, ya'll are family!" Family. That's what it's all about, isn't it?

I did have a good time with my brother. He's fun. We went out to eat and tried all the local stuff we could. Alligator is delicious and nutritious. Oysters we can live without. We had a tasty shrimp Etouffee on Tuesday night. I found a recipe for that in a cajun cookbook. You're gonna like dis, chere!

Shrimp Etouffee

2 lbs shrimp (little ones are fine)
1 1/2 cups chopped onions
1/3 cup crushed garlic
2/3 cup chopped green pepper
1/2 cup tomato paste
2 chicken bouillon cubes
2 tsp salt (taste before adding, you may not need it)
1 tsp tabasco sauce (Tabasco is made in Louisiana)
1 cup oil
3/4 cup flour
1/4 cup chopped celery
1/4 cup butter
3 cups water
1 can chicken broth
2 tsp black pepper
1 tsp paprika

Cooked rice for serving

In a large skillet, make a roux by stirring oil and flour over medium heat. Stir constantly. When roux reaches peanut butter color, add onions, celery, garlic, and green pepper. Saute 5 minutes. Mix 1/4 cup butter and tomato paste and saute in another pan until smooth and thick, about 5 minutes. Add it to the roux along with the rest of the ingredients except the shrimp. Cook together 5 minutes. Add shrimp and cook 5 minutes. Serve over rice. Crawfish can be substituted for shrimp.

Unnecessary Warnings

2011-01-26T16:05:00.000-08:00

The world is a scary place. Sometimes you need help navigating the hazards, which is where friendly warnings come in. "Stay away from the boss today, she's in a bad mood", "Don't drink and drive", "Watch out, the sidewalk is icy", these are useful things to know and so avoid trouble.

Lately I've been getting some ridiculous warnings that make me wonder, "Who needs to be told such obvious things?"

In with new shoes, the little pack of silicone stuff that absorbs moisture is labeled, "Do Not Eat". Because somebody thought it was a snack with purchase? Maybe free LIK-M-Ade?

My new e-reader directions warn against getting it wet (fair enough, not for use in the tub) but continue on to say that if you do get it wet, do not attempt to dry it out by putting it in a microwave oven! I was astounded that anyone would think of this until my niece confessed that she had once tried to dry an ipod in the nuker. (Her mom stopped her in time.)

I have recently had some horrendous dental work done. Ok, it was a cleaning, but it had been 10 years since I had been to the dentist (Yeah, it's a phobia, but can you blame me?) and they had to do the "Deep Cleaning". (Cue ominous music). When I made the appointment I mentioned my dislike of dentistry and asked if they had knock-out gas. (No, I did not ask if they had gas). Yes, indeed, and plenty of it, they said. (Liars)

This deep cleaning can be done in 2 appointments of 2 hours each or 1 appointment lasting 3 hours. Not being a total idiot, I took the 3 hour thing. The hygienist put on the "numbing gel" and got to work. Scraping up under my gums with sharp things and some drill-type machine, it hurt like the dickins! This is when she tells me that she is only allowed to give me enough novacaine for half my mouth! Long story short, at the end of 3 hours, I was a mess. (Please note that I actually have a high pain tolerance. Really.)

Here is where the unnecessary warning comes in. Captain Obvious warns me that this deep cleaning can only be done every 2 years, so don't ask for it again before that! I kinda thought she was joking, but she was serious! I promised through my bloody drool that I would NEVER do such a thing and crawled to my car.

Captain Obvious also gave me a prescription for antibiotic mouthwash. I will describe the taste for you: If a bear ate a tube of toothpaste, his poop would be like this mouthwash. As a bonus, the flavor was long lasting. Another unnecessary warning: NO Refills.

Here is a nice recipe for jalapeno poppers. Two unneeded warnings: Filling is hot, and do not eat the whole batch as a low-carb meal. (A nice person would not ask how I know this).

Jalapeno Poppers

10-15 jalapenos
8 oz cream cheese
1 cup shredded cheddar
6 slices cooked, crumbled bacon

Halve and seed jalapenos. Mix cheeses and bacon in mixer and put into a ziploc bag. Cut off a corner and squeeze goop into jalapenos. Bake at 375 for 20-25 minutes or grill on foil for 30 minutes, until browned.

Santa's Lap of Luxury

2010-12-30T10:38:00.000-08:00

We went to the Wisconsin Dells for Christmas! We stayed in a very posh timeshare, courtesy of Paul's mom who needed to use up "points" or lose them. It had a whole kitchen, so I cooked our roast beast there. The recipe I gave you last time worked perfectly, although the boys said it was too rare. I think because I used a bone-in roast, it could have cooked a little longer.

Paul gave me an ereader, which I really like. I downloaded "Huckleberry Finn" for free and read it in the dark!

I felt a little bad about missing Christmas Eve services at our church. I was also surprised that the hotel/timeshares were completely full on such a big holiday. Then I took a longer look at the other guests. They were probably not Christians, so it was just another weekend to them! I forget how small my little world is, sometimes. I need to get out more! I was interested in the very modest swimsuits the Muslim women were wearing. Kind of like a wetsuit with a dress over it. The headpiece even had a bump-out for the wearer's hair bun.

This posh place had 3, count them 3, waterparks in it. (More in the summer.) Big waterparks, with scary slides and tube rides. I seriously thought I would die. Paul says you could hear me scream and say"OH DEAR" all the way down. There was also mini-golf and laser tag and arcades. Paul and I endured a 2 hour sales presentation for the time shares to get a $150 gift card. The guys used it to go skiing. I have a bum knee, so I try to avoid skiing. Sadly, I had to stay alone in the posh suite, soak in the hot tub, read magazines and work on a quilt. It was rough.

We're going to have a quiet New Year's Eve. Appetizers and movies in our pajama pants, fire in the fireplace... I am glad to say that Nick turned down an invitation from a buddy to stay home with us! With Nate going to college next year, I am relishing every minute of family time.

Here is a party dip recipe that was new to me. Have you ever had that appetizer where you spread cream cheese on Buddig lunch meat, wrap a pickle in it, then slice it? I like that, but spreading the cream cheese is a pain. This recipe has the same flavor, but without the hassle!(Now how much would you pay?)

Wrapped Pickle Dip

1 (8oz) pkg cream cheese, softened
1/3 cup real mayonaise
1 pkg Buddig corned beef
1 pkg Buddig beef
Pickles to taste
Crackers (Wheat thins are good)

Mix cream cheese and mayo. Chop meat into small squares and add to mixture. Dice pickles and add to your taste. Add pickle juice to make it easier to spread. Or just use pickle relish! Serve with crackers.

Happy New Year!

Mama, Mama, Holiday Drama

2010-12-23T07:27:00.000-08:00

Ready for Christmas? Got all your shopping done? If one more person asks me something like that I will scream! Because I am extremely unready. Yeah, I know, IT'S TOMORROW! EEEKK!!

Yesterday was the Christmas program at preschool. Now they are all tucked up in their house with their parents and I can work on MY family's Christmas.When I mentioned how behind on preparations I was, Mr. Ose said, "Maybe you should learn to multi-task". He is definitely getting coal in his stocking. He was kidding, he knew I was already multi-tasking my little heart out. Next year will be easier, first year is the hardest, (I keep telling myself). Really, we just have to buy stuff. Gifts, food, etc. Teenage boys are hard to buy for. It's amazing how much of this is Mama-driven, at least at our house.

At least I don't have to make up a menu. That may be the reason that traditions are born, so that you don't have to make everything up from scratch every year. (Mothers are geniuses!) We will have rib roast, mashed potatoes, broccoli, carrots, jello for Nick, Yorkshire pudding, and gravy. We will have English "crackers", party favors that look like wrapped tubes from toilet paper. Inside the tubes there is a small firework that goes "POP" when you pull on it, a tissue paper hat, a corny joke and a small, cracker-jacky prize. (I mean the kind of prize you USED to get in Cracker Jack, not the piece of paper you get nowadays). Lucy dog is so afraid of the small pop sound the crackers make that she hides in the basement anytime we sit at the dining room table, in case it is Christmas Eve. She comes up later, looking for fatty bits from the roast.

The roast is a BIG DEAL. It is expensive, the best price this year is from Cub, $6 a pound. I rarely buy meat that expensive. I would hate to ruin it. Ruining, to me, is well done. I like my steaks on the rare side of medium rare. I do not want to overcook this roast. My friend Mary gave me this recipe she got from County Market. She said it is foolproof. As I am a fool, it is exactly what I need! I'm going to try it, while still hovering over the oven with thermometer in hand.

I wish you a Merry Christmas,
Kellet

Prime Rib

This recipe works for ANY size rib roast.
DO NOT open oven door at all during the cooking time.
Preheat oven to 375
Roast should be placed in a shallow pan on a rack, do not cover.
Season with Salt and pepper
Bake for 1 hour.
Turn oven off for at least 2 hours, but not more than 4 hours.
DO NOT OPEN THE OVEN DOOR DURING THIS TIME.
Turn oven back on to 375 and cook for another 45 minutes.
Remove from oven and let set for 15 minutes before carving.
Roast will be medium rare from end to end.

Madness

2010-12-02T18:49:00.000-08:00

I'm back! Miss me? Sorry to leave you with pictures of bacon turtles for so long, but I've been THIS CLOSE to insane! The new job at the preschool has taken up all my brain cells and more. I am drained, empty, no fun at all. I was afraid for a while that I would never even enjoy the kids again, but that has been coming back.

I got the nicest note from the nicest person telling me she missed the blog, and could I write some more? That was just what I needed to get me going. I have been noticing blog-worthy things lately, so maybe it'll be ok. Here is a Christmas item I thought was a little crazy:

Fancy Chair Leg Covers! Dress up your dining room furniture for the Holidays! You will surely be known as the eccentric relative if you buy these for your chairs. (Isn't the one on the left what the wicked witch was wearing when Dorothy dropped the house on her? Very festive.)

Did you see the Martha Stewart ad for Black Friday? The woman has totally lost it and isn't even trying to hide it! It's not so much showing up in people's bedrooms at 3 a.m. as it is the crazy look in her eyes as she rubs the chicken on their bedspread. See the video here. If that link won't work, I'm sorry, it's been a while since I've done this.

Jessica Simpson and Martha Stewart Wake Up Black Friday Shoppers for Macy's

I herewith declare myself the winner of the "Ugliest Thing" contest for the year, as nobody else entered. I purchased the following Halloween decoration for a nickle at a garage sale this last summer. I hung it in the kitchen just until I could take a picture of it to show you. IT'S STILL THERE! The family has begged me to take it down, so now I can. Somebody went to a lot of trouble to crochet 2 ghosts, a pumpkin-headed ghost and 3 bats. They even covered the hanging hardware with yarn! As hideous as this is, it was almost overtaken this last weekend by a purse made from a whole (deceased) armadillo! If I had a photo of that you would be amazed. I saw it in an antique shop in Duluth, but did not have my camera.

Have I given you my recipe for cornflake chicken? I'm pretty sure Martha wouldn't be caught dead making it, but my family loves it!

Cornflake Chicken

Boneless, skinless chicken (I use thighs)
Salad dressing (the guys like ranch, I like french, use whatever you have, or want to use up)
Crushed corn flakes.

Cover a baking sheet with foil, or this will be a pain to scrub off. Coat the chicken in the salad dressing, then in the crushed corn flakes. Crush more corn flakes if you need to. Bake at 350 degrees until the chicken is done, maybe half an hour. Nice and crunchy, not as good as leftovers, because it gets soggy.

Celebrate with Bacon!

2010-07-13T10:55:00.000-07:00

Did you have a good 4th of July? That was a while ago, I know, but I've been busy having a nervous breakdown! I'm worried about being in charge at preschool, so I am having nightmares and mini panic attacks. Going up north was a nice change. Paul was in China the week before the 4th, so we were happy to have him back. I was looking forward to trying "Bacon Turtles" that I saw on a website. It's basically a bacon cheeseburger with hot dog appendages.

You try to weave the bacon so it looks like a turtle shell. Frankly, it looked better when they did it, take a look here. I think they used more bacon than I did. Next time I will put the cheese inside the burger (like a juicy Lucy) because much of it melted and slid off. So sad. A waste of cheese!

The directions said to bake them, so the bacon wouldn't overcook before the meat was done. It was too hot in the (un-airconditioned) cabin to use the stove so we cooked them in a foil pan on the grill. It worked just fine. I made homemade buns and they were delicious! The hot dogs are an odd texture addition, but not bad.

I saw on another site a recipe for bacon vodka. Hmmm.... I may have to try it!

On the 4th, we went into Duluth for the day. They had a little carnival by Canal Park. The boys rode on some rides, and I pet a lemur. Yes! A real lemur! I paid three dollars and got a bit of chopped banana to feed them. I laughed when I got into the enclosure, because all the lemurs were asleep in a pile in the back of their cage. They were also stuffed to the gills on other people's bananas, so they weren't interested in mine. Luckily, the baby lemur was still awake, and I was able to pet him. I would show you a picture, but they wanted another $5 for a photo, whether you used your camera or theirs. I'm too cheap. In case you wonder, petting a lemur is very much like petting a wiggly cat.
Paul's brother Tim came with us. We listened to music in the park while we waited for Nate and Nick to be done with the rides.

We went to Paul and Tim's cousin's house for dinner. Dave and Teri have bought the old weather station in Duluth and are doing extensive renovations. This is the view from the roof, where there will be a garden someday. They were having a pig roast, with many guests. This is the kind of party I like, with flocks of kids and dogs swooping in and out, the ability to have a nice long chats with nice people, and good food!

Here I am with Nate and Nick on the roof. Yes, they are taller than last week! They just keep growing! Nick has an entirely new voice going on now. I did actually curl my hair before I went, but it was humid, so my hair went completely limp. Grrr!

We all watched the fireworks from Dave and Teri's yard. Fabulous! We couldn't hear the explosions, which was weird, but nice, I thought.

The food at the party was terrific. Dave cooked a pig, they had hot German potato salad and everybody brought a dish to share. Hot German potato salad is so good, it has bacon in it, too, so it was a very bacony weekend. Here is my favorite recipe for Hot German Potato Salad. (I got it from a hot German!)

Hot German Potato Salad

5 lbs red potatoes
1 lb bacon
2 onions, chopped
2 cups water
1 cup flour
1 2/3 cups white vinegar
1 2/3 cups sugar
Salt and pepper to taste

Cook, peel and slice potatoes. Cook bacon until crisp, cool, crumble and set aside. Cook onions in bacon fat until transparent. Scoop them out and let them rest with the bacon. Mix 2 cups water and one cup flour until smooth and cook it in the hot bacon fat until it gets thick. (It's German Roux!) While it's cooking, mix vinegar and sugar and bring to a boil. Once the roux is thick, add the vinegar mixture a bit at a time, stirring to keep it smooth. Add the bacon and onions and simmer until thickened. Mix with cooked potatoes and add salt and pepper.

Bejeweled, Vajazzled and Bewildered

2010-06-18T07:21:00.000-07:00

I'm a gamer. Not really. A gamer is a big fan of video games. I like to play "Bejeweled", and Mahjong on my computer. My kids tell me these don't count as video games. I also buy $5 computer games at Half Price Books. I usually get $5 worth of fun out of them. Sometimes these involve searching for objects hidden in the pictures. I know that doesn't sound like huge amounts of fun, but when I play this sort of game, the kids come and sit by me on the couch and help look. It's teenager bait! I'll take what I can get.

I bought a game called "Keepsake" for $5. It took 3 disks to install and large amounts of memory, but it was months of fun for me. (If I had more than an hour a week to play it I probably would have finished it sooner.) It had terrific graphics and an interesting story about a young woman trying to solve a mystery in an abandoned school of magic. Apparently you can play it more than once, but I don't know why you'd want to.

Have you heard of "Vajazzling"? This has become a topic of interest since Jenny Love-Hewitt (star of "Ghost Whisperer") brought it up on a talk show. She has a new book out in which she tells of cheering herself up after a bad breakup by decorating her "lady parts" with stick-on rhinestones. It seems her body really is a wonderland!

I own stick-on rhinestones, but it has never occurred to me to stick them on anything but paper. My little preschool girls sometimes wear these for earrings, though. Quilters are adding glue-on rhinestones to quilts these days, too.

This is how I use the jewels. I use them to decorate scrapbook pages. (That is a picture from Yellowstone). If you want to see some masterful use of stick-on jewels, click on Gretchen's blog "Happiness is..." over there on the list of blogs I follow. Gretchen makes absolutely gorgeous cards that have ribbons and stamps and jewels on them. Making cards is very difficult (at least for me) but she makes it look easy. She has links to buy whatever you need for cardmaking. I get my jewels in the dollar bin at Michaels.

Back to "Vajazzling". The word is a combination of "Bedazzling" (a craft in which rhinestones are attached to fabric) and vagina, which is misleading, since the rhinestones are not actually anywhere near that particular lady part. I had to look this up since I could not believe that it would be possible to install these in or on a vah-jayjay. (That's a reference from "Grey's Anatomy", aren't I the pop culture queen?)

Indeed, the jewels are installed in the groin area. If you would like to see this, click here for a link to see a reporter having it done. My big problem with this would be the preparation of the site to be decorated. One must have a "Brazilian" bikini wax for vajazzling to work. Brazilian means completely bare. Waxing means ripping out. Um, no thank you.

The only thing "Brazilian" I'm interested in would be the Caipirinha, the national cocktail of Brazil. This is made by mixing lemon or lime juice, sugar, ice and cachaca, the Brazilian national liquor. Rum or vodka may be substituted (with vodka it is a "caiproska") although I'm told it is not the same. We are basically talking a vodka-lemonade here. I'm in! I also like brazil nuts, come to think of it.

You may be hearing more about vajazzling in the next few days, as Kathy Griffin has had it done. The new season of her show is starting and as a way of generating hype she is having a pap smear done poolside. I think the vajazzling is to make it interesting for the gynecologist.

Today's recipe is for bejeweled pork. Pomegranate seeds really are jewel-like, but are only available here in the northland for 1 month a year. The rest of the time try grapes or fresh currents.

Bejeweled Pork Medallions

1 pork tenderloin (1 1/4 lbs) boneless pork chops are also good
butter and olive oil to prevent sticking
salt and pepper to taste
3/4 cup pomegranate juice
1/2 cup chicken stock
2 tbs ketchup
1/4 cup dried cherries or cranberries
1 cup small grapes or 1/2 cup pomegranate seeds
chopped chives for garnish

Slice the tenderloin into 1 inch slices and saute on high (in the butter/oil) until almost done (still pink inside, they will finish cooking while resting) don't over cook the nice pork. Keep meat warm while making sauce.
Put juice and stock in the pan you used to cook the pork with the pork juices. Reduce liquid for 4-5 minutes. Add ketchup and dried fruit. Put pork on plates, drizzle sauce over meat, sprinkle grapes/pomegranate seeds over sauce and garnish with chopped chives. Serves 4

Vinnie's Party/Grand old day

2010-06-07T17:17:00.000-07:00

We went to Fargo for my nephew Vinnie's high school graduation party on Saturday.
Here is the graduate in the plaid shirt. His brother Jessi is wearing the white shirt and black hat. The taller girl is Vinnie's girlfriend. She had nice shoes.

See the smile on Vinnie? He was smiling like that all day! He was so happy and so full of promise that it almost hurt to look at him. Do you have younger relatives that you love like that?

The whole day was full of love and no drama. Since my Nate will graduate next year, I was taking careful notes of all the nice touches at this party, like photos of Vinnie on the water bottles, School color M&M's, the computer slide show. I asked Nate what ideas he thought we could use. "Plastic silverware would be good", he said! Party planning is not his thing.

This is Vinnie holding the quilt I made for him. I like to give graduates a quilt. It's my best thing, and I want to honor their effort with an effort of my own.

My mom and I with my three brothers, Erik, Gene and Chris. My sister couldn't make it, so the Spartan helmet represents her.

I went to Grand Old Day on Sunday with my BFF Reenie. We used to go to this when we were kids and wander down the street and buy junky trinkets. It's a little different now. There were not so many merchandise booths, just food booths, although I did buy a "GO-Girl". This is a funnel for girls so we can pee standing up. (There goes my resolution to keep down the "earthy" blog content!) The go-girl's inventor suggests that one practice in the shower BEFORE taking to the woods. We are going fishing this summer and I think this will come in handy in the boat. (The children are mortified). I will let you know how it works!
This is a picture of one of the street bands, they had a ghost thing going on. The people watching was amazing. Am I the only person in America without a tattoo? I seem to be the only woman who didn't think high heels were needed to walk for miles down Grand Avenue!

There was good food (but so expensive) at Grand Old Day. Gyros are always tasty. I made these last week and the kids loved them, although they wouldn't use the tzatziki sauce.

Chicken Gyros
Ingredients:
For the tzatziki sauce:
16 oz. plain yogurt (not nonfat, if possible)
1/2 hothouse cucumber or 1 regular cucumber, peeled and seeded
2-3 cloves garlic, pressed through a garlic press (or finely minced)
Salt and pepper

For the chicken:
4 cloves garlic, smashed
Juice of 1 lemon
2 tsp. red wine vinegar
2 tbsp. extra virgin olive oil
2 heaping tbsp. plain yogurt
1 tbsp. dried oregano
Salt and pepper
1 1/4 lbs. chicken pieces (I used boneless, skinless chicken breasts)

To assemble:
Pita bread
Fresh tomatoes, seeded and diced
Red onion, sliced thin

Directions:
To make the tzatziki sauce, strain the yogurt using cheesecloth over a bowl. Let strain for several hours or overnight, if possible, to remove as much moisture as possible. You can skip this step, especially if you use greek-style yogurt, or if you don't mind the sauce a little runny.

Shred the cucumber. Wrap in a towel a squeeze to remove as much water as possible. Mix together the strained yogurt, shredded cucumber, garlic, salt and pepper to taste. Refrigerate for at least 30 minutes before serving to allow the flavors to meld.

To prepare the chicken, combine the garlic, lemon juice, red wine vinegar, olive oil, yogurt, oregano, and salt and pepper to taste in a medium bowl. Whisk together until mixed well. Add the chicken pieces to the bowl and mix well to coat. Cover and refrigerate for about 1 hour.

Cook the chicken as desired, either in the skillet or with the broiler. (I butterflied the chicken breasts and then cooked them under the broiler.) Once the chicken is completely cooked through, transfer to a plate and let rest for 5 minutes. Cut into strips.

Heat pitas. Top with chicken, tzatziki sauce, diced tomatoes and sliced onions. Serve immediately.

Fishing Opener

2010-05-26T13:33:00.000-07:00

We went to Lake Vermillion for fishing opener. It is a nice lake and we stayed with nice people.
This is Nate, bundled up, it was a little chilly in the early morning.

Here is Nick, also chillin'. We all caught fish, but because of the slot limit we could only keep one. The rest were too big! Hah!
This is my fish. We could have kept him, he was a good eating size Northern Pike, but it was early in the day and we thought we could catch more. Sadly, we did not! We did eat the one walleye we could keep, and he was delicious. If you ever catch a good amount of northerns, you can pickle them. Then they keep in the refrigerator for a while and are nice with crackers. I like this recipe because the fish gets very firm. I eat pickled herring once a year (at Christmas) and the texture is always a little too floppy for me.

Al's Mom's pickled Northern

1 1/4 cup salt
3/4 gallon water

Cut fish in pieces (an inch or two square) (recipe does not specify amount of fish, but I'd say one or two big ones) and soak in salt water in refrigerator for 48 hours.

Drain and rinse fish.

Put in non-metal container and cover with white vinegar. Let sit in this in refrigerator for another48 hours.

2 cups sugar
2 cups white vinegar
2 cups White Satin wine (I don't know this wine, but with that much sugar and vinegar I think any white wine will do.)
2-3 large onions, sliced
1 green pepper, sliced (optional)
1 box pickling spice
extra bay leaves, if you have them

Dissolve sugar in vinegar, add other ingredients and drained fish. Wait 4 days to eat this. Keep refrigerated. Keeps 6-8 weeks.

Color me RED!

2010-05-05T11:45:00.000-07:00

What you think when you see this video?

A. Oh, look, that nice lady is trying to show us that she is wearing the same T-shirt! Must be a fan of musical theater...

B. Oh my God, a crazy woman is chasing me across a parking lot, trying to show me her breasts! Run for your life!

Yes, well, I was going for "A", but the answer is apparently "B". I was at the grocery store and saw a woman with her husband in the parking lot. She was wearing her "Wicked" t-shirt and so was I. I made the above motion so as to (wordlessly) point out our shared taste in clothing and entertainment. The problem is, she didn't see me, only her husband did, and he had NO IDEA what I was doing. From the appalled and terrified look on his face, he thought I was coming on to him and (insanely) pointing out my rack.

When I realized this, I tried harder to get him to understand my innocent intentions, but he, um, started running. I didn't want to leave him with the wrong impression, so I yelled, "We are wearing the same t-shirt!", except he and I were not clad alike, so it didn't help. I slunk into the store, blushing from head to toe.

Sadly, this is not even my MOST embarrassing moment. I'll tell you that another time.

Blushing Breasts (Tandoori)

1 cup plain yogurt, divided
1/4 tsp ground cloves
1 tsp salt
1/2 tablespoon cinnamon
1 small jalapeno
6 cloves garlic
a little red food coloring
1 inch chunk of fresh ginger
1 small onion, roughly chopped

Puree 1/2 the yogurt and the rest in a blender, add the rest of the yogurt. Use this as a marinade for 2 lbs of chicken breasts. Marinate overnight. Grill until chicken is done.

Brilliant!

2010-04-02T12:33:00.000-07:00

Have you been watching "Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution"? I love that Jamie. He's cute and he says "Brilliant!" alot. He is also called the "Naked Chef", but again, sadly, he is never naked. The food is naked, as in good ingredients, simply prepared. Check out one of his books from the library, the pictures of the food are gorgeous. The new show is about re-thinking our food choices, our children's food especially. At least so far. Jamie would never approve of today's breakfast.......
The donut-as-big-as-your-head! They sell this "Texas Donut" at Hans' Bakery in Anoka.
My children eat them once, maybe twice a year. The rest of the time they eat the low-sugar, whole grain cereal I usually buy. I'm not too worried about it. Nick thanked me twice!

You are probably wondering how Genetics is going. I'm holding my own, but now we are getting to a hard part. The more it sounds like chemistry, the less I get it. The labs are getting more fun, though. We are at the fly breeding part! I am unusually excited about this. Last week we put a tube of mutants (far right) to sleep (with something called "Fly Nap") and looked at them under a microscope. We were to sort them out according to mutant features. Some had orange eyes (red eyes are most common in fruit flies) some had white eyes, some had yellow bodies or cupped wings. One group looked non-mutant to me, until the prof had me look at the edges of their wings. They were so pretty, I gasped! They were scalloped! Brilliant! Then we became matchmakers and arranged (group) marriages for some other flies. They are going to be so surprised when they wake up, I thought!

This week we killed the flies we mated last week. Hmmm. I did feel kinda bad about this. I wanted to just let them go, but this is really frowned upon. We also looked at some flies with glow-in-the-dark bits. By next week our orphaned larva should be adults and we will see what kind of mutants we made.

Happy Easter!

Here is a Jamie recipe. Good and easy! This is nice on salad or on other vegetables, such as asparagus.

Jamie's Vinaigrette

1 Tbls mustard (maybe not the bright yellow kind, try dijon)
4 Tbls vinegar (not plain white or cider, use balsamic or wine vinegar, maybe an herbal kind)
1-2 cloves finely chopped garlic
8 Tbls Extra virgin olive oil (EVOO to you Rachel fans)
Salt and pepper

I put this in a jar and shake it up just before serving. Brilliant!

Laughter is in my DNA

2010-03-12T13:26:00.000-08:00

This is my Genetics lab partner, Margaret. She is looking at fungal spores here. (They get up to some crazy stuff when they breed.) Margaret is remarkable. She is smart, kind and determined. Everybody else was afraid to be my lab partner. (That'll teach her to come late the first day). Margaret also has a great sense of humor. This is apparently rare in the scientific community.

Geneticists have absolutely NO sense of humor. Especially about sex.

Isn't that just wrong?

My genetics prof was not amused when I suggested that we turn down the lights and play soft music to encourage the mating of yeast strains. Also no yuks to me comparing the mixing of mating strains in agar (petri dish gelatin) to jello wrestling. It's tough room. The kids really don't know what to make of me either. This week I wrote a song about chromosomes swapping bits of themselves to the tune of "Petticoat Junction". Sadly, I'm the only person in the class who has ever heard of "Petticoat Junction" including the prof. Sigh.

In my textbook ($179, gulp. IMHO, you pay 179 bucks for a book, Ranger better come with it, know what I mean?) the geneticists describe the "TATA box" in which transcription begins.

"TATA box". Where I come from, the only reason to use "TATA" and "box" in the same sentence is when ordering porn on pay-per-view! (Please note that I detest pornography.)

"Tata box" is the most obliviously filthy name given out since my mother decided to shorten my baby nickname of "Miss Muffet" (because of the frilly dresses) to "Muff" when I was in high school. Yep. Not. A. Good. Nickname.

This recipe is for yeast raised waffles. Mix the batter the night before so the yeast has time to get busy. Don't worry that anything is having sex in your batter, though. That yeast is only one mating strain and isn't interested in each other (Yeast don't swing that way). It will reproduce asexually by splitting itself in half. All those bubbles, though? Yeast farts!

Yeast raised Waffles

1/2 cup warm water
2 1/4 tsp yeast (1 pkg)
2 cups milk
1/2 cup butter
1 tsp salt
1 tsp sugar
2 cups flour
2 eggs
1/4 tsp baking powder

At least 8 hours before serving (up to 2 days ahead, supposedly) sprinkle yeast over water in mixing bowl. Let stand 5 minutes. Nuke milk to 100 degrees F. (body temperature). Melt butter and whisk with milk, salt, sugar, and flour into yeast mixture until lumps disappear. Cover bowl with plastic wrap and leave at room temp for 8 hours or so. Whisk eggs and baking powder into batter. It will be thin. Cover and chill in refrigerator until ready to make waffles. Use 1/2 - 2/3 cup batter per waffle. Makes about 8. While batter keeps a couple days in refrig, waffles are best eaten at once. These are delicate and delicious.

Buy a Lottery!

2010-02-23T12:03:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was my lucky day. I got my genetics midterm back, and not only did I pass, I got a B plus! I was so sure I flunked that I cried all day after taking it. The prof gave everybody an extra 10 points because she made it so hard that nobody finished and the average score was 70.

I was so happy that I decided to try tracking down my chemistry credits again. This time Macalester did find my records! They are sending out my transcript this week.

This was such an unusual run of luck for me that I ran right out and bought a powerball ticket! I never win such things so I only spent a buck, but it seemed like a good idea.

I promised you Martha's Banana cake recipe, so here it is.

Banana Cake

Mix together:
1 box yellow cake mix
1 cup water
1/2 cup oil
2 eggs
1 tsp baking soda
2-4 mashed, ripe bananas

bake at 350 degrees for 30-35 minutes. Cool.

Frosting:
1 small box instant banana pudding
1 1/4 cups cold milk
Mix until thickened, then fold in 8oz cool whip.

Frost cake, store in refrigerator.

Eat My Dust!

2010-02-12T14:32:00.000-08:00

Hiya! It has been 2 weeks since I posted, sorry about that. Genetics is all consuming! I'm just trying to get through it (I actually did well on a quiz this week), but all of a sudden instead of hating it 24/7, I found myself liking it! Then I hated it again, but there is hope. As I was learning why some plants have variegated (green AND white) leaves I remembered why I became a biology major in the first place. The biological mechanisms are so cool! There is beauty and logic and unfortunately, ALGEBRA! They slipped that in there on me in chapter 6. Luckily, all three of my guys are algebra whizzes, so I have tutors available at all times.

I have a midterm on Monday, so I'll be studying all weekend. Also, my midterm powerpoint for my other class is due Sunday. That is an education class on Native Americans. My subject is "The Significance of the Star Quilt in Native American Life". This was interesting to put together.
This is a star quilt. I've never made one, not only because they're hard, but because I don't like the way they seem to throb. They give me a headache.

How's it going at my church? Somebody is giving my boss a hard time about wanting to retire. They are very interested in who will take over for her, and not in a good way. I can't help thinking that they are horrified that I might apply. I don't know what they have against me, but the boss will always do the right thing for the school. The kids are what matters. I can't worry about it too much, all my brain cells are busy with gene deletion mapping. Not enough room for paranoia. (It is not paranoia, however, if people really ARE out to get you!)

I'm trying to make room in my head for Valentine's Day. How does that kissing thing go? Can't remember. I have filled that space with the mnemonic for the names of the scientists who discovered bacterial sex acts. (Their names are Tatum and Lederberg. To remember that I think of Ron White, the "Call me tater salad" smutty comedian- in lederhosen. On an iceberg, and then I laugh. This probably won't go over well at the test.)

Today's recipe is for Edible Dusting Powder. It's a Valentine's day treat. I have not tried this out, (yet) so don't blame me if your skin is all dyed red on Monday. (Just wear a turtleneck!)

Edible Dusting Powder

2 Tbls powdered sugar
10 red or pink PixyStix (you know, powdered candy in a straw?)

Sift together a few times until it is all mixed and fine. Apply with a cotton ball or new powderpuff. Don't forget your cleavage.

Church Treats and Oddities

2010-01-29T14:04:00.000-08:00

Sorry not to have posted in a while, Genetics is taking all my brain and time. Really, all of it. This sort of thing used to be easier, but then I only had a couple of other things (beer and Paul Ose) taking up room in my head. Stay in school, kids.

I'm also worried about a possible backstabbing/power grab at my church. Yes, my church! Since this is also where I work, it is very disturbing. People are up to something sneaky and I don't like it. It looks like it will be a real treat. On the other hand, it is good to know who your enemies are. I'll let you know how it turns out.

My side of the family got together a couple of weeks ago to celebrate Christmas. It was nice, low key, we had a good chance to catch up. I did remember to take pictures of more than just the two youngest members of the family, but I can't help it, they are just too cute!

This is Kristine. She was surprised when Uncle Erik reminded her that he was her Godfather. She turned to Ben, pointed at Erik and gasped, "Look! It's God!"
Ben wasn't buying it.
This is Erik. Good looking, yes, but not a God. Although he is a minister. He got his qualifications over the internet and has performed two weddings, now.
This is my sister, Sarah. She is wearing her new scarf around her tiny little hips. Sigh. It did say it was a "magic scarf", but there isn't enough magic (or vodka) in the world to get a scarf over my butt.

I've seen a couple of funny things in the ads in the Sunday paper lately. The first is this new make-up from L'Oreal. It comes with it's own paint roller! Paul always says that women who wear to much makeup are "troweling it on". This is pretty close to troweling, I think. None of my friends wear much makeup, (or if they do, it is so skillfully applied that it doesn't LOOK like they are wearing much.) It just seems a little crazy to me.The next thing that caught my eye was this package of "Party mix". FOR YOUR CAT! Look at the cat on the label, is he happy that cat treats are falling from the sky like confetti? Not so much.

Nick is trying to get our cat to learn tricks with cat treats as a reward. It's kinda hit and miss. Merle is not getting any party mix, however, he is not a party animal. Although he is relentless in the pursuit of catnip, which I grow in the garden. ("It's a nice blend of Kentucky bluegrass and Northern California Sensimilla") Quoting from Caddyshack means my fried brain has to be turned off.

I will leave you with a recipe from a nice church in Church's Ferry, North Dakota. These are Paul's favorite cookies.

Church's Ferry Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies

1 cup shortening
3/4 cup brown sugar
3/4 cup white sugar
2 eggs
1 tsp hot water
1 1/2 cups flour
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
2 cups "quick" oatmeal
1 small pkg chocolate chips

Cream shortening and sugars, add eggs and water, then all the dry ingredients together. Mix in chocolate chips and drop by rounded Tbls onto cookie sheets. Bake at 375 until brown around the edges.

One fish, two fish, red fish, EEEWW fish!

2010-01-18T11:57:00.000-08:00

We have another entry in the "Weirdest Thing" contest! Sandy of Springvale Campground found this goofy bug-eyed fish in a furniture store, of all places. It is made out of flexible, rubbery stuff. You see that it has a zipper on the back. Why? Is it a pencil case? For toothbrushes? Hmm..it is stamped "made in Munich", so it is a German fish. Maybe it holds sauerkraut! Thanks for sharing it with us, Sandy.

I'm back at school. This semester/trimester will be a killer. I am taking Genetics, which meets 4 days a week, so close to the time I get out of preschool that I leave there 5 minutes early and then run all the way across campus. It's been 25 years since I took a science class, so I'm playing catch-up, big time! Can't wait for the part where we breed fruit flies, maybe I'll catch some of the ones from home and breed a prettier bug. That'll shake them up!

I have a good fish recipe for you. It comes from Paul's Grandma Emily, who was a terrific cook. She made this with lake trout, but we are all out of lakers, so salmon works great. I'm sure any fish would be fine.

Baked Fish Fillets

1 lb fish fillets
1 Tbls lemon juice
1/4 tsp paprika
1 Tbls butter or margarine
1 Tbls flour
dash of salt and pepper
1/2 cup milk
1/4 cup buttered bread crumbs
1 Tbls chopped parsley (optional garnish)

Cut fish into serving sized pieces. Place in greased, foiled shallow baking dish. Sprinkle with lemon juice, paprika, salt and pepper. In saucepan, melt butter, blend in flour and a dash of salt and pepper. Add milk slowly, cook and stir until thick and bubbly. Pour white sauce over fish. Sprinkle with bread crumbs. Bake at 350 degrees for 35 minutes until fish flakes easily. Garnish with parsley if desired.

Of Mice and Men

2010-01-08T12:50:00.001-08:00

Do you see that? Right in the middle of the chocolate frosting? MOUSE TEETH MARKS! The smear on the lower left? WHERE IT RESTED IT'S NASTY LITTLE BODY WHILE EATING MY CAKE! Bastard! I had to throw the whole thing out. That mouse has to go. I have already trapped one (very plump from eating the butter last week!) and the traps are still out. I don't want to use the super 5-gallon bucket trap yet. GRRR! But wait, you say, don't you have a cat?
Why yes, yes I do. He says he cannot eat them because they have not bathed.
Our family has joined an archery league. This seems like it might be really fun! We went to the first shoot the other night. The place is (not surprisingly) full of men! There were only 2 other women. (If you are a single girl, it is a TARGET-rich environment!) I had thought there would be more families. With more moms like me. (Yeah, I know, there IS nobody like me!) (and that is a good thing!) All the fellas were really nice and helped us get up to speed on how the league works and the proper archery etiquette. Nate has good form.
Look! Those are my arrows with the red feathers on the top left target. Right in the middle. Unfortunately, that is also my arrow on Nick's target on the lower left target. I didn't get any points for that one. When we practice in the yard I only shoot 20 times or so. League shoots 60 arrows a night not counting warm-ups! My arms are a little sore still. I'm pretty sure this counts as exercise, yay. I'll let you know how it goes, maybe I'll win an award for "most improved", like when we were in bowling league. (There was nowhere to go but up for my bowling average).

I wanted to give you the recipe for the banana cake, but frankly, it wasn't all that. My friend Martha (not Stewart) has promised to give me her recipe which really can't be beat. I'll pass that along later. I don't have any mouse recipes, so I will give you a manly one.

A note on the Redneck Coq au Vin recipe: When I have made this before, I have omitted the lemon pepper because I didn't have it. It turns out lemon pepper has lots of salt in it and made the dish too salty, I think. I suggest you just put in some black pepper and call it good.

Manly Meatloaf (My mother-in-law's recipe)

2 lbs ground beef
2 eggs
1 envelope dry onion soup mix
1/2 cup water
1 1/2 cups crushed crackers (MIL uses saltines)

Mix, shape in a loaf, bake (with potatoes and carrots maybe) for 1 1/2 hours at 350 degrees.

Party Hardy

2009-12-31T14:14:00.000-08:00

"Party Hardy" was a message on the Recipe Czar email I received last week. Now, I am old enough to remember when "party" was only a noun ("I am going to a party"), and not a verb ("I am going to party like a rock star"). Language is a fluid thing, and I'm trying to keep up. However, "party hardy" seems wrong. I think it should be "party hearty". These are quite similar, but... Let us consult my 1977 dictionary, shall we?
Hardy: inured to fatigue or hardship, robust
Hearty: enthusiastically or exuberantly cordial, expressed unrestrainedly, exhibiting vigorous good health, abundant
So we have "Revel without tiring" or "Revel enthusiastically". I still like hearty. Too many people get confused by words which (not witch) sound similar. It annoys the pants off me when I see writers mixing up yore, your and you're. Also frequently misused: their, they're and there. These are completely different words with different meanings. Are all the writers ignoring the green underlining from spellcheck? Or are our computers not catching such misuses? I'll test it. They're is a cat. Yeah, not flagged as wrong, sigh. We are on our own. We are doomed. We are NOT smarter than fifth graders.

I'm off to party like a rock star. (If rock stars enjoy sitting on their couches with kids and watching an "Indiana Jones" movie marathon, that is.) Nick received a chocolate fountain for Christmas and we're going to give it a workout. We can think of LOTS of things to dip in chocolate!

Here is a quick appetizer recipe. Oddly, there are 3 variations of this in my archives. 2 cook the sausage, one does not. Suit you'reself. (Ha! it flagged THAT one!)

Sausage Balls (Maybe they are SHWEDDY BALLS!)

1 lb pork sausage
10 oz shredded cheddar
3 1/2 cups Bisquick

Fry sausage until brown, add cheese, stir until melted. Add Bisquick, drop by teaspoon onto cookie sheets, bake at 350 for 10 - 15 minutes.

Tend it like Beckham

2009-12-19T14:34:00.000-08:00

This is Victoria Beckham (the former "Posh Spice"). Posh has trouble. While I was at the gym yesterday (my radio is out of batteries so I was reading the closed captioning on all the screens) I read that poor Posh panics at the thought of Christmas dinner. No, not at the thought of entertaining/cleaning for lots of people (she has staff) or cooking it (Gordon Ramsey from TV's Hell's Kitchen will be preparing their meal) but at the thought of eating it!

Poor little Posh only eats 700-900 calories a day and works out like a crazy thing to maintain her size zero figure. Her solution to the frightening idea of good food is the "three bite rule". She will only eat three bites of anything to maintain the size zero. THAT'S what I've been doing wrong! I've been having FOUR bites! The next time I go to the gym, I'm going to entertain myself (if I forget the new batteries again) with the image of Gordon Ramsey having a meltdown when the hostess refuses to eat his dinner. Maybe he'll throw stuff.

Did you ever see the movie "Bend it like Beckham"? It's pretty good. The main character (played by the same actress that played ER's Neela) is torn between playing soccer and being an obedient daughter.( In one scene her relatives compare breasts to "juicy, juicy mangoes". Mr. Ose has never forgotten this phrase.) One of her soccer buddies is played by Keira Knightly (as a blonde!) The title is about playing soccer as well as Posh's hubby, David Beckham.

Today's recipe is not posh. It's a redneck version of the posh french classic, "Coq au Vin"(chicken in wine). In that, chicken is braised with shallots, red wine and cognac to make a yummy sauce. It's good, I'll throw a recipe for that on the ol' blog someday, but today we're having a redneck holiday. My sister-in-law once said I should make a redneck/dirtball cookbook, featuring lots of hotdish. I'm not really sure she meant it as a compliment.

Redneck Coq au Vin

1 envelope dry spaghetti sauce mix
1 envelope dry onion soup mix
2 Tbls flour
1 Tbls lemon pepper
1 cut-up chicken (I like to use just thighs, 8-10 of them)
1 can beer (drink the rest of the 6-pack with dinner)

Combine dry ingredients and coat chicken with them. You can shake them in a bag together. (I remove the skin from the chicken, because I, too, have a figure to maintain, but suit yourself.) Place chicken in a 9x13 pan and pour the beer around it. Cover with foil and bake at 350 degrees for 1 hour 15 minutes. Remove foil and cook another 15 minutes to reduce sauce.

What will I do with myself?

2009-12-15T12:10:00.000-08:00

I'm sorry it's been so long since I've posted, but it was finals week! I think I did okay. I even almost enjoyed the second power point. So now I can finally read for pleasure, yay! I'm so excited that I couldn't choose and now I'm reading 3 books at once. Preschool is done after Thursday, so maybe I can even quilt or scrapbook? I'm going to make the most of my Christmas break, because in January I start Genetics. I'm afraid it's going to be really hard.
Saturday was my last day of Education class. Before that I went to the Mpls. Institute of Arts to see the "Treasures of the Louvre" exhibit. I went with Deb. We paid extra for the little headsets that gave us extra information on each piece.
This painting is called "The Card-Sharp with the Ace of Diamonds" by Georges de La Tour. He painted it in the early 1600's. Look, it tells a story, the guy on the left is cheating the guy on the right at cards. Look at the women's eyes....They may be in on it! I love the stuff at the art museum. Every piece has a story. I used to volunteer and tell these stories to the kids at the elementary school.

Today's recipe is for Eggnog Pie. I apologize for the underlining, the cat stepped on the keyboard and I don't know how to turn it off.

Eggnog Pie

1/2 cup sugar
2 Tbls cornstarch
1/4 tsp salt
1 cup milk
3 egg yolks, lightly beaten
1 tsp. unflavored gelatin
1 Tbls cold water
1 Tbls butter, at room temperature
1 tsp vanilla
1 cup heavy cream, whipped past the soft peak stage, but short of stiff peaks
1 (8 or 9 inch) baked and cooled pie crust
Nutmeg for sprinkling over pie

In small bowl, combine sugar, cornstarch and salt; set aside. In top of double boiler set over simmering water, scald milk. Stir in sugar mixture. Cook and stir until thick and smooth, 10-15 minutes. Continue cooking 15 minutes, stirring constantly. Whisk a little of the cooked mixture into the lightly beaten egg yolks. Then whisk egg yolks into cooked mixture in top of double boiler. Whisk and cook custard 3 minutes longer. Let gelatin absorb water then whisk into hot custard. Whisk in butter. Remove from heat and whisk in vanilla. Transfer to a bowl, place plastic wrap on surface and cool to room temperature. Gently fold in whipped cream in three additions. Fill pie crust, sprinkle with nutmeg and chill 3 hours.

20 years on - part 2

2009-12-02T11:55:00.000-08:00

Paul and I had a great weekend on the north shore. We stayed in a nice condo-ish place at Superior Shores. On top of the fireplace mantel was a collection of rocks, driftwood and birchbark with names and dates of guests. We picked out just the right rock on the beach and added our names to the pile.
We stopped at this fabulous antique store on our way north. It's in Pease, which is just south of Milaca on 169. It is jam-packed full of neat stuff. Every room has a potential winner of the "Craziest Thing" contest. Rooms have just been tacked on to the main building and to each other. Paul was a little worried about the sturdiness of the floors, but they held up as long as we were there. It is quite clean, and even smells good. I bought a quilt that I estimate was made around 1880. It's in pretty sorry shape, it's a silk crazy quilt and silks from that era were dipped in solutions of lead to give them weight. This makes them crumble. It isn't worth a lot, but I'm tickled!
This is the atrium at the condo. Yep, that is a hot tub in the corner! With a view of Lake Superior!
Another cool antique store. This one is in Duluth, in an old church. They specialize in old books, and it had that "old book" smell I like so much. I bought a book about Queen Elizabeth's jewelry. It's somebody's job to keep track of her jewels, where they came from and what she wears them with. Rich people are fascinating. Paul and I imagined living in the old church. We put the bedroom in the choir loft.
We went to see "A Christmas Carol" (in 3D) at the movie theater. (You remember my need to see some version of this every year?) We smuggled in beer and enjoyed it very much. They had the nerve to charge full price for a matinee because of the 3D, so we kept the glasses. Paul and his friend the hotel lobby bear, make them look good!
We like to have breakfast at Hell's Kitchen when in Duluth. I am so happy that they have just published a cookbook with their best recipes. I love the wild rice porridge and the sausage bread. It would be wrong for me to give away their recipes, but nothing is stopping you from buying the cookbook for yourself (or borrowing it from the library). Like they say, "Damn good food!"

Since we are now in the Christmas season, I have a Christmas cookie recipe for you. I got the recipe from my friend Connie. Connie is much more highly evolved than I am. She told me a story once that began with a crabby person in line with her at a store. Connie tried to think of a way to improve this person's day. I would have been thinking of a way to get far away from Ms. Crabby! Do use real butter in these, you can really taste it.

Butter Riches

Cream 3/4 cup butter
Add 1/2 cup packed brown sugar
1 Tbls white sugar
Add 1 egg yolk
1 tsp vanilla
blend in 2 cups flour
Shape into 3 dozen balls (these are not large cookies), flatten slightly, bake 7-9 minutes at 350 degrees. Cool and frost with burnt butter frosting.

Burnt butter frosting (not really burnt)
brown 1/4 cup butter
blend in 2 1/2 cups powdered sugar
1 Tbls vanilla
Gradually add 3-4 Tbls cream. Garnish with a slivered almond.

20 years on

2009-11-25T17:23:00.000-08:00

Today is our 20th wedding anniversary! It doesn't seem like 20 years, because actually it's closer to 30 that we have been together. We dated for 8 years before we married (wouldn't want to rush into anything, you know!)
Look how handsome Mr. Ose looks! This was taken at the Como Conservatory. I am wearing my family's Swedish wedding crown. Paul freaked when we first showed it too him because he mistakenly thought we were going to try to make HIM wear it! I still giggle when I imagine that.

It's good to know somebody has your back. I've been riding the ragged edge of panic ever since I went back to school. When my education prof assigned a powerpoint presentation I went right over the edge and down into the pit of the overwhelmed. I don't know how to do that! Even though Paul and both boys assured me that it was no big deal, it was just too much. Paul sat right next to me and walked me through it and then moved it to my thumb drive. THAT'S why I love him! (Also, he's way cute!) This week my other prof also assigned a powerpoint! What's up with that?

So, I'm thankful for my Ose. I'm also thankful for my blog readers. Julie Powell (who wrote "Julie & Julia" about her blogging on cooking Julia Child's whole cookbook) calls her blog readers, "bleaders" (blog plus reader). EEWW! I would never do that. I love my readers (both of you!).

I have found out since last week that those of us who like Glee are called "Gleeks". I resemble that remark!

This is an easy recipe that would be good for using up leftover turkey.

Easy Chicken & Cheese Enchiladas

1 can cream of chicken soup
1/2 cup sour cream
1 cup picante sauce
2 tsp chili powder
2 cups chopped cooked chicken (or turkey)
1/2 cup (or more) shredded monteray jack cheese
6 flour tortillas
1 small tomato, chopped
1 green onion, chopped

Stir the soup, sour cream, picante sauce, and chili powder together. Mix 1 cup soup mixture with chicken and cheese. Divide the chicken stuff among the tortillas. Roll them up and put them in a shallow baking dish. Pour the rest of the soup mixture over the top, cover and bake at 350 for 40 minutes or until bubbling. top with tomato and onion. (1/2 cup black beans can be added to chicken mixture)

Get Your Orange on!

2009-11-18T18:22:00.000-08:00

Last weekend my boys went deer hunting for the first time! They didn't see hide nor hair of any deer, but they had a good time anyway. They were amazed by how noisy the woods are when you sit there a while. Mice make an surprising amount of ruckus in the leaf litter and birds have an active and LOUD social life. I love that they can appreciate that and aren't so focused on venison that they can see the big picture. Paul is a good teacher and very safety conscious, so I wasn't too worried about accidents. I can see by the above photo, however, that we are going to have to have another talk about how milk is perishable and needs refrigeration.
If they wanted to see deer, they should have stayed home. This is Peter the pumpkin-eater (he also eats my green beans) who regularly raids my garden. He is very fond of the apple tree.

While the guys were up north I was toiling in the vineyards of the Lord. Ok, I was selling baked goods at the church bazaar. Friday we packaged, Saturday and Sunday we sold.

The Lord owes me a weekend.
This is what I made for the bake sale. It didn't sell on Saturday (the other 3 I made did sell) so I bought it back on Sunday so I could see if it tasted as good as it looked. It's apple oatmeal bread, with apple slices stuck in the top. This is a very hearty bread, good with cheddar cheese or cream cheese (everything's good with cream cheese, though). Keep it in the frig, those baked apples get nasty quick. This photo is only half the loaf, you put the apples down the loaf the long way. Gotta go, "Glee" is on and I LOVE that show! (Probably because I'm a former choir geek).

Apple Breakfast Bread

2 cups flour
1/2 cup quick rolled oats
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
5 large egg whites (or 3 whole eggs)
3/4 cup (packed) brown sugar
1 cup unsweetened applesauce
1/3 cup buttermilk
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 Rome Beauty or other red baking apple

Grease a loaf pan. Mix dry ingredients in a bowl, heat oven to 325 degrees. Beat eggs in a mixer with brown sugar for 2 minutes, add applesauce. Mix vanilla with buttermilk, add to egg mixture alternately with dry ingredients, mixing just until combined. Put into greased pan. Quarter and core apple (do not peel, the peel is the pretty part) cut each quarter into 5 slices. Arrange slices, 1/8 inch apart, in a row on top (sticking down into) batter, peel side up. Bake 55-65 minutes until cake tester comes out clean. Cool in pan 10 minutes then cool on rack. Sift powdered sugar over the top to serve.

Dicks at the Gym

2009-11-10T12:20:00.000-08:00

I've been hitting the gym a lot, (not that you can tell). It's probably doing some good, just inside where it doesn't show. I know I'm shallow, but I'd rather have a smaller butt. Anyway, I have been witnessing some rude behavior at the gym. Worse than not wiping off the machines is loudly chatting on your bluetooth right next to me all through my workout. How am I supposed to hear General Hospital?
I love the steam room, but last month a woman came in, and proceeded to slap and rub herself (I guess to get her circulation going) and blow her nose a lot ON HER TOWEL! EEWW! There are signs every two feet saying not to use your cell phone in the locker-room. This is to prevent people from taking nekkid photos of each other. I , for one, am in favor of this rule. I don't need my butt showing up on u-tube. This does not stop some people. Last week, a very entitled woman (who had taken up half the bench with her stuff, and left her locker door open so people had to duck around it before jumping over the rest of her stuff on the floor) talked for a very long time about how clever she is. She had to go over by the tanning beds to talk because I kept turning on the blow dryer every time she came near me. (I could teach a class on passive-agressive annoyingness). She was using three towels, too! The gym asks that you only use one. I admit that I use two, because I have long hair and don't like to have it drip all over, or to walk back to my locker naked. People are thankful for this.
Here is more rude behavior. Now the attendants have to undo the towel from this key, because
whoever put it here couldn't be bothered to. (Yeah, I know, I used my phone in the locker room! TO TAKE PICTURES! I was alone in the locker room at the time.)

Paul says the guys' locker room is worse. One guy (we call him "junk man") likes to plop his, um, totally shaved JUNK on the counter so he can admire it while he brushes his teeth. Another fellow blow-dries his unit, for a long time.

Last week in the parking lot, I saw a truck with testicles. I was so astounded, I forgot to take a picture, so I got this one from a website that would like to sell you some for your car or truck. They can be purchased in many colors (I almost said they come in many colors!) which apparently enhances one's manliness.
They can be purchased in a light-up version as well (google brake-nutz). I will never understand the male mind. Neither will these women: Truck-Neuter

Today's recipe is for Spotted Dick, which is a British steamed pudding. The name is not meant to refer to the male member at all, wiki says it may be an old corruption of the word "pudding". OK.
I like that this can be boiled in the crockpot, because I don't have time to boil a spotted dick for 3 hours otherwise.

Spotted Dick

Recipe #72087 | 3¼ hours | 10 min prep

Ingredients

4 ounces plain flour
4 ounces suet
water, to mix
4 ounces raisins or sultanas

Directions

1
Mix the flour, currants and grated suet (it should have the general consistency of mouse droppings) very lightly by hand.
2
Moisten with a couple of tablespoons of cold water, enough to give a dryish pastry texture.
3
DO NOT RUB, only stir enough to bind the ingredients together.
4
The mixture can be put into a buttered basin and covered with first a layer of foil, then a cloth (tied on with string), but the usual way is to make a thick roll shape, and wrap it in buttered greaseproof (waxed?) paper, and tie into a cloth.
5
Boil in a lot of water for two to three hours on top of the stove, or all day if using a crock pot.
6
To serve, slice it into 1" thick chunks while still hot.
7
Some people serve it with egg custard, but others consider serving spotted dick with moist brown sugar and a large spoonful of salted butter a must.
8
Use both if you like.

Men love a hot bread product!

2009-11-04T12:21:00.000-08:00

This is half of my bread machine collection. Um, yes, I own six of them. I didn't mean to! It was an accident! I received one as a gift 15 years ago and literally wore it out. I replaced the pan once and kept using it until I wore through the internal metal parts. I needed a replacement!

New bread machines are spendy, luckily they are cheap and plentiful at garage sales. I found an exact duplicate (never used, but without the manual) for $5. I also picked up a spare, in case it happened again. Then I saw a better one, it also made quick breads! So I bought that, too. I had thrown away the broken one, so now I was up to 3.

I tried to give one to Reen (my BFF) but she travels light and insisted on trading me hers (she wanted a smaller one and I had a selection to choose from). I was right to need an extra because the one I was using broke a belt. Somehow, 2 more appeared, I don't really remember how. They may be breeding in the garage. (Keeping track? We're up to 5 - one of which is broken).

The day of Nick's confirmation my mother showed up with one her neighbor was giving away. It seems I am now running a foundling home for unwanted bread machines! Please come and adopt one for yourself. Seriously, come and get one, I really only need 2 (one that works and a spare).

I love to make bread. It smells and tastes sooo good, and I like controlling what goes in our bread. No preservatives, more whole grain, etc. I make sandwich bread, pizza dough, sweet rolls, dinner rolls, crescents and french bread. My new favorite machine (the one from Reen) makes quick breads AND jam! I can set the delay and wake up to, or come home to, fresh hot bread.

My guys love this! They think I am a bread making goddess. They are too totally spoiled for commercial bread. Paul says he can smell the chemicals. I can serve a very mediocre dinner, but if there is hot bread......then it's a feast! Make bread bowls to serve with stew and they'll think you are Martha Freakin' Stewart.

Also, in my defense, the rule is, "If you have three or more of something, then it is a COLLECTION." This legitimizes lots of crap. Makes it more of a museum exhibit and less of a useless dust collector. Case in point:

You will remember the golf cart-driving frog from earlier this summer when I issued my "What is the freakiest thing at a garage sale or store" challenge. He was alone, which made him an anomaly. Over the summer I bought him 2 friends (5 and 10 cents, respectively) so now this is a collection! The "weird little animals made of shells" collection. See? You have a new respect for Mr. Frog, don't you? I have lots of "collections" including my newest one, "Christmas houses that don't belong to the same village". (I may need to stop sharing now, or my husband will have me locked up. Or he'll clean out the garage. I always have to inspect the garbage cans after he cleans, he throws away all my good stuff!)

I am happy to announce the winner of the freakiest thing contest: Laura P.! Laura has won with her entry, "The really hideous jar covered in huge shells". Note that the maker took care to make a flower on the side out of the pink shells. Laura cleverly didn't buy this, she took a photo in a junk shop. Good work, Laura!

And here's your prize: A beautiful pink fan made of plastic forks and lace! I'm not sure if this goes with your decor, (Hopefully NOT) but if you get 2 more, then it's collection and it will go with everything!

This recipe came with one of the bread machines. They are all a little different so you may have to tweak it a little, if it over-rises use cold water instead of warm and so on. Lock your doors when you make this, people may come in off the streets when they smell it baking. You can make it even if you don't have a bread machine, of course, but don't you want one? For free? Call me!
(I may have to start leaving them on doorsteps, or plant flowers in them.)

Buttermilk Bread (1 1/2 lbs)

1 1/4 cups buttermilk, warmed to room temperature
3 Tbls soft butter or margarine
3 Tbls honey
3 1/4 cups bread flour
1/4 tsp baking soda
1 1/2 tsp salt
1 1/2 tsp yeast

Put in bread machine in the order your machine specifies (mine likes liquids first) and set it for basic bread. Whoever puts in the ingredients gets the top crust (I don't make the rules, I just report them.) (OK, I did make up that one).

Hallow-nutty

2009-10-28T18:03:00.001-07:00

Look! We survived the confirmation! Paul got a new toilet installed Wednesday night (so our guests did not have to squat over the hole as they do in benighted parts of Europe) and finished painting the kitchen ceiling a whole TWO HOURS before everyone arrived. So, what was I worried about? (I also managed not to bawl at the service, which for some reason turned out to be a possibility). Now I can turn my attention to the next thing..Halloween! My boys no longer trick-or-treat but they may have some buddies over. I poked around the Halloween section at Target. There is some way weird crap there!
First up: DOG COSTUMES! This is the Disney Princess collection. Tinkerbell, Cinderella, Snow White, Ariel (yep, dress your dog like a mermaid) and...Captain Jack Sparrow.( Cuz you wouldn't want your boy dog to feel left out.) I am deliberately holding back here because some of you may dress your dogs in ball gowns and just because I don't dress my dog in one doesn't make it wrong. Necessarily.
This is also odd, but not wrong. I like vampire stuff, I like a nice martini, (OK, I LOVE them),
maybe I need this. But at your house, not mine (I just had the carpet cleaned).

Would adding "Gummy Eyeball Cocktail Picks" to a drink with "Blood Dripping Rimming Sugar" be overkill? The preschool teacher in me sees these as terrible choking hazards. ("Poor Mrs. Ose, she died choking on a gummy eyeball")
Nate says this would go well with a "Shrek" costume.

These are "Gruesome Cocktail Chillers". I can't remember (or tell) if these were eyeballs or toes. It'll be mighty crowded in my martini!

Party Favors! More eyeballs and some finger suckers (with and without flesh). Also some festive candy necklaces with (again) eyeballs.
I'm sensing a theme on the part of Target buyers.
Probably a package deal.

This was tricky. It says, "Glow-in-the-dark" toothpaste and
handsoap (antibacterial, of course). I pondered the idea of glow-in-the-dark toiletries for days until I again found myself back in Target and read the fine print: "Product does not glow, only container glows". What a rip-off! I love glow in the dark stuff! If you see any glow-in-the-dark nail polish, tell me where to get it, I want some. This brings me to one of my million dollar ideas: glow-in-the-dark cars. Wouldn't you totally buy one? You could find it in the parking lot every time! You could decorate it with a UV charging flashlight (these are for ice-fishing lures that glow). I will expect royalties for this idea from the car companies. Also the chalkboard-paint car.

Here is a bunch of funky-flavored candy corn. Tangerine? Green Apple? Something Purple? Chocolate-covered toffee? (Oh, wait, that sounds good!) I despise candy corn. I also hate those candy pumpkins (and circus peanuts and black licorice.) Whatever happened to mini-snickers and almond joys in a pillowcase? THAT'S what Halloween is all about.

You could add candy corn to this recipe to make it seasonal. (After cooking)

Toffee Chex Mix

1 box Corn Chex mix
1 (16oz) jar dry roasted peanuts
Mix in large bowl

In large saucepan:
1 1/2 cups butter
1 1/2 cups brown sugar
1/3 cup clear Karo syrup

Stir and bring to a boil, take off heat and add 1/4 tsp baking soda. Stir until frothy, pour over Chex mix and peanuts, mix well. Divide batch into what will fit in a glass pan (that fits in the microwave). Microwave at 1 minute intervals for 4 minutes. It is important to stir at 1 minute intervals, lest it burn. Spread onto cookie sheet and let cool. Repeat with next batch.

Quick and easy

2009-10-21T05:50:00.000-07:00

We went up north for MEA. I caught a break because my Religion professor cancelled class on Thursday because he was sick AND didn't post the homework before we left. No homework! It rained on Friday and the boys and I sat in the cabin by the fire, read books and drank tea. Heaven! Paul was out bowhunting. About 10 years ago I was sad when I realized that Paul and I would never be one of those couples that sit by the fire and read together. Yet another good reason to have kids! One of the books I read was called "Cake Wrecks". It's a photo book of the ugliest professionally decorated cakes you will ever see. I laughed until I cried. You can get this book from the library, the author is Jen Yates. She also has a blog on the subject, also called Cake Wrecks.

Saturday the guys put a new deer stand. They did look at the pictures in the directions, but wouldn't read the words. Men!
(There were only a couple of pieces left over. Paul says they're optional.)

How's it going getting ready for Nick's confirmation? Well, here's where the toilet is meant to be in the main bathroom. Paul took it out on Sunday. Today is Wednesday. Yeah. He took it out to see if he could get out whatever has been interfering with proper flushing for several years now. We still don't know, but we bought a new toilet which is more water efficient. Really hoping that is hooked up before all the company comes. You may laugh, but Paul one time varnished the toilet seat right before we had company. When it wasn't dry, we had to direct guests to the basement bathroom WHICH I HADN"T CLEANED!

Paul has also planned to repaint the kitchen ceiling before Sunday. He thought spray paint might work. For the record, IT DOESN"T! Not only di we choke on fumes, now my kitchen has a nice coating of white paint I have to scrub off. (Dropcloths? We don't need no stinkin' dropcloths!)

We're having class photos today in preschool. I'm curling my hair, although it is raining so I don't know why I bother. It will be pin straight in 10 minutes.

Here's a quick and easy soup recipe.

Taco Soup

1 lb hamburger, cooked and drained
32 oz reduced sodium beef broth
1 can black beans
1 can tomato sauce or chopped tomatoes
1 pkg dry taco seasoning
1 can corn

tortilla chips and sour cream for serving.

Mix all ingredients, simmer 15 minutes. Crush chips on top, plop on sour cream and eat. As the taco powder and chips are salty, the reduced sodium broth is a good idea.

Balls in the Air

2009-10-10T18:03:00.000-07:00

No, the title does not refer to a new yoga position, I mean I'm busy! I have "a lot of balls in the air" like a juggler.

After preschool on Monday I gave blood. I may have mentioned before that I have a rare blood type. I kind of feel that I need to spread some of it around, since somebody might really need it, and it's scarce. If you give blood, keep your fingers nice and warm, so you can pass the hemoglobin test.
I always feel so virtuous after the questionnaire, because I haven't done anything to make me a bad risk for contaminated blood. (Lately) Been in jail? Nope. Had sex with a hooker? Nope. Been shooting up? Nope. Been scarfing down cow brains in England? Nope. Are you having sex with a man who has sex with other men? Nope, nope, nope! I don't even know what some of the stuff they ask about IS! They tell me that if I was doing it, I'd know.

Monday night I had to renew my CPR certificate. I hate this. I hate asking a filthy rubber mannequin if it is all right, I hate cracking it's creaking chest while counting to 30, I hate blowing into it's mouth, hoping to see "chest rise". Mostly I hate imagining that I might have to do this to one of my little preschool friends. Please, God, don't make me have to do that!
For weeks after this class, I inspect every mouthful at snack time, "Only one goldfish cracker in your mouth at a time, kids! Mrs. Ose does not want to give you the Heimlich!"

After Religion class on Tuesday and Thursday, my brain is mush! No new input will go in until the rest is absorbed. I can feel the moment my brain fills up. I spend the rest of the time looking at the clock and hoping I'm not missing anything important.
Tuesday night I met Reenie at the Seward co-op. It's as hippified a place as my little heart could desire. Everything is recycled! I needed help to sort it, but I loved it. I had dandelion root tea (tasted like water you soak a burnt pot in) and french cheese (tasted like french feet).
Nick and Nate had conferences on Wednesday night. I couldn't be more proud! One teacher noted that as our son had an "A" in the class he didn't see what we were doing there. Duh! One of the reasons our kids get the grades they do is BECAUSE we go to every conference. We care and they know it. We make a big deal out of their accomplishments, and (so far, knock on wood) we haven't had to make a big deal out of troublemaking.
Thursday, Nick had an orchestra concert. Nick's group did a good job, but one of the other groups absolutely murdered Wagner. Yikes!
We had our annual visit from a firefighter at preschool. This year, I didn't embarrass myself, I'm happy to say. Two years ago, I noticed that my fly was open AFTER the firefighter left! Nice. Last year, I got caught making the universal hand sign for "Hottie" by another firefighter. (It's not MY fault the Ramsey Fire Dept. only hires lookers!)
Next week, I add another ball to the juggling act. I will be volunteering at Headstart. I have to spend 20 hours (for my other college class) in a class with a high level of poverty and diversity. 20 hours! Where am I going to find that? Luckily, I can spread it out as much as I want.
Nick is being confirmed at the end of the month. I'd be going nuts if I had the time. Instead, I've delegated the planning to Paul. He's project managing, it's one of his many talents. All I have to do is cook and whatever else I'm assigned. I'm so happy not to have to juggle that!

Here's a recipe I found in a magazine while I was waiting for Nate at the orthodontist. It sounded good, but not with the marinara sauce that was suggested. If you need sauce, nuke some Cheez-whiz.

Rice Balls (Not for juggling)

Preheat oven to 350. Line a cookie sheet with greased foil or parchment paper.
Cook in 1 Tbls oil:
1 cup thawed, chopped, frozen spinach
1/2 small onion
1/2 tsp minced garlic

When onion is transparent, mix with:
1 cup cooked rice
1/4 cup parmesan cheese
1 egg
pepper to taste

Make into balls of about 1 Tbls and bake for 20 minutes.

E for Effort

2009-10-02T17:29:00.000-07:00

I went to another book signing. This is my favorite author, Diana Gabledon, signing my copy of her new book. Look how nice and THICK it is! I won't be able to read it until December, sadly, because I have to read homework books until then. I know better than to start one of these unless I have time to do nothing else, because I will ignore the world until I'm done.

I waited for 2 hours to have her sign my book. Why? Two hours for "To Kellet, Diana Gabledon"? I have no idea! It seemed like a good idea at the time. She is a good speaker, I enjoyed her talk before the signing. Here is how she began:

"In days of old, when knights were bold, and condoms weren't invented, they wrapped some socks around their c**ks, and babies were prevented!"

See? You don't hear a talk start out like that every day. Her books are hard to describe. I think they are shelved in fiction, as historical novels. They could also be science fiction or romance. Paul calls them the "Lusty Scotsman"books. I told Ms. Gabledon that at a previous signing and she asked, "Does he enjoy the fringe benefits, too?" GULP! She was asking if her books (which do have some sex in them) inspired me to make out with my husband! I muttered something like, "Bleaaahhh, yeahhhh hahaha" took my book and scuttled off.

She seems to be a very straight-forward person. She said a reporter asked her once "What is the appeal of a man in a kilt?" She said, "I guess it's the idea that he can have you up against a wall in about 2 seconds flat!" And the reporter said, "GULP!" and scuttled off! So if you're looking for a good read, the first one is called Outlander.

Now, we get rain. Too little, too late. My tomatoes are already dead. My friend Deb is a marvelous gardener. I was admiring her tomatoes and asked her how many tomato plants it took to make a cherry tomato hedge that big. Just one! It was so full of cherry tomatoes, I couldn't believe it. Deb gave me a ton of them. I made this yummy jam with them. It takes a lot of effort, and it's amazing how 4 pints of tomatoes cooks down to 3 cups, but it is tasty.

I got my first paper back from religion class. I was pretty nervous, not having written one for a quarter-century, but I got a 3.0! Pretty good, considering. Better yet, the professor said I could rewrite it and try for a better grade, because he says I seem like the kind of person who would put in a little more effort to get a 4.0. Now THAT'S a compliment!

Cherry Tomato Vanilla Jam

2 1/2 lbs (4 pints) cherry tomatoes
1 vanilla bean, split lengthwise and scraped
1/3 c. plus 1 1/4 cup sugar, divided
3 Tbls extra virgin olive oil
3 (1/2 inch wide) strips lemon zest
5 Tbls lemon juice
1/2 tsp vanilla extract

Preheat the oven to 450 degrees. Rinse cherry tomatoes and put on a heavy cookie sheet. Pick off all the stems. Add the vanilla bean pulp to the 1/3 cup sugar, mix with your hands to combine. (Don't they smell good?) Mix tomatoes, sugar, olive oil and lemon zest on the cookie sheet. Roast for 20-25 minutes depending on size of tomatoes, stirring often, until the tomatoes are wilted and skins have burst. Let cool a bit before removing the peels. Press the peels in a strainer to collect all the juice. Add juice to a medium sized pot and add tomatoes, discard skins.

Add 1 1/4 cups sugar, lemon juice and vanilla extract. Bring to a boil and boil for 1 minute. Place in a glass bowl, cover and put in the refrigerator for at least 6 hours, or overnight. Put it back in the pot and boil until it reaches 220 degrees. Put some on a cold plate and see if it thickens some when cool. It shouldn't run when you tilt the plate. Can or freeze. yield: 3 cups

NOW, It's Fall!

2009-09-28T12:59:00.000-07:00

The temperature dropped like a rock yesterday! Maybe our extended summer is over? My garden is done, I won't have to be running out with blankets to cover the tomatoes from frost. I want to get all the houseplants inside today, then I won't have to worry about them either. Mr. Ose hates having to haul plants in at 10:00 at night. Where am I going to put them?

Nick and Nate picked most of the apples off the tree yesterday. Now I have to do something with them. Come and get some if you want, we have plenty! I didn't spray them with anything this year, and they still look pretty good. Sometimes I use the juicer to make cider. I want a cider press, I have my best engineer on it. He should be able to make me one, don't you think?

I'm trying to write shorter blog posts (maybe with less gut-spilling), so let's get right to the recipe:

Caramel Apple Cider (Never spell it "Carmel" or I'll come find you!)

Cider
1/4 cup heavy cream
1/4 cup brown sugar
3 cups apple cider
1/2 cup water

Caramel Whipped Cream
1/2 cup heavy cream
1 Tbls brown sugar

Cider: Bring the cream and brown sugar to a boil, stir in the cider and water and heat just until the cider begins to steam, about 4 minutes. Divide among 4 mugs, top each with caramel whipped cream and serve at once.
Caramel whipped cream: Whip the cream with the brown sugar until soft peaks form.

Something Big!

2009-09-24T16:29:00.000-07:00

I have matriculated! I am going back to college at Augsburg. I'm excited and overwhelmed at the same time.

I first went to Augsburg in September of 1981. (At freshmen orientation I noticed a cute boy named Paul.) Augsburg is a private, Lutheran college in Mpls. I lived on campus for 3 years and off campus as a senior. I went through ceremonies in a cap and gown and everything, even though I was a few credits short. (They let you do this.)

Anyway, I never got all those credits. I have been this close to a Biology degree for 24 years! I have taken classes at the U, Anoka Ramsey Community College and one other college. I'm still trying to figure out which one. I took Gen. Chemistry SOMEWHERE in the summer of 1983, because I took Organic that fall. Macalaster says it wasn't at Mac. I still haven't heard from Hamline. It's hard to ask a school if you ever went there without sounding ditzy at best.

It's so funny to be back there. I spent over 4 years of my life on that small campus, and some things look familiar, but some don't. They have done a lot of expansion, but still. The funniest thing is that I realized I have put all my college years in a big box in my head marked "Failure" and locked it. I now have the opportunity to take something out of the box. When I explained to a professor that I was a 25-year senior, and a cautionary tale, he replied that on the contrary, I was an inspiration. Yeah, I cried.

I realized I belonged there. I have a history at that school. Not only did I go there for 4 1/2 years, my husband went there. My mother-in-law and father-in-law went there. My sister and her husband went there. It's MY school.

So, I'm at the weekend college and taking one class during the week. It's "The Lutheran Heritage". I'm taking this because according to my transcript, I signed up for this in 1985 and got a 0.0 as a score. I must have never gone! If I retake it and get a decent grade it will help my GPA. It is also having a another effect on me.

I have been thinking for years that I was a bad Christian because I don't seem to think like the other Christians at my church. For example, last Sunday, the parents of the 9th graders were asked to participate in the youth group meeting. This involved kickball and a game played in the hallway and everybody sweating on and smacking balloons at each other. I hated it. Everybody else seemed to love the "Fellowship". I hate fellowship. I hate modern Christian music, radio and TV. I thought something was wrong with me. (Did I mention the box in my head is a BIG box?)

For this class, we are reading the important books and papers of the Lutheran religion. As I read them, I realized that I believed it all! Really believed it, and belief is the key here. "Saved by Grace, through Faith" and I have Faith! (Who knew?) All the things I don't like are just details.
So I got that back, too.

I'm a little worried that I've been gone so long that I won't know how to do all that college stuff. Footnotes, and the like. I've already written a paper for the Lutheran class. I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who used the phrase "naked trollop in the kitchen" in a paper on Martin Luther. I'll let you know how I did (maybe).

The downside is, I have NO time. I have to plan everything days in advance and be super-organized. I know, welcome to your world, huh? I'm making good use of my crockpot, because when I finally make it home after teaching this year's 3-year olds (one word- YIKES!) and going to class in Mpls, my brain is banana pudding. It's nice to come home to a yummy smell and dinner already made. This recipe was in the strib. I thought the sauce was kind of runny, so I thickened it with corn starch.

Easy Chicken and Dumplings

1 (3 1/2 lb) chicken, cut into 8 pieces
2 carrots peeled and diced
2 celery ribs with leaves, chopped
4 fresh parsley sprigs
2 garlic cloves, minced
1 medium onion, chopped
2 1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp black pepper
1 bay leaf
1 3/4 cup Bisquick
1/2 cup plus 2 Tbls milk
2 Tbsp chopped fresh parsley (or other herb)
Sour cream, for garnish

Put the chicken and everything up til Bisquick in the crockpot and add water to cover. Cook, covered, on high for 3 hours or low for 7 hours, until meat falls from the bone.
Take chicken out of crockpot and let cool enough to handle, then remove meat from bones and discard bones and skin. While chicken is cooling, mix bisquick and milk, stir in parsley. Drop the batter by tablespoon into the liquid in the slow cooker. The dumplings should be just submerged. Cover and cook the dumplings on high for 40 to 45 minutes. Remove dumplings and add chicken back in. Thicken with corn starch if desired. Serve chicken in sauce over dumplings. Sour cream may be added for garnish. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I didn't think it needed it!

Rich Folks

2009-09-16T18:27:00.001-07:00

My buddy Chris and I went to Wayzata on Sunday. They were having some festival with a parade and craft fair. We love craft fairs, and the guys were out of town, so off we went! This photo shows the view from the patio bar by the marina. Beautiful flowers, cold beer, (um, we were warding off heat stroke) it was great.

Here we are all cooled off. You can tell rich people drink here because the drink menu was a bound, hard cover book and not a laminated piece of paper. Also, we were amused to see that they sell wine by the glass, and charge $15! For one glass! I know I'm a rube, but I try not to pay that much for the whole bottle.

We took a tour of Lake Minnetinky on the refurbished steamboat that at one time was sunk on the bottom of the Lake. It has a nice, loud whistle that made me scream whenever it went off. The ride was a real bargain at $5, and lasted an hour. We figured it was probably our last chance to retouch our tans before winter.

Here is one of the mansions on Lake Minnetonka. We tried to imagine what it would be like to live in such a place. All we could think of was how much work it would be to clean! We also can't imagine having servants to clean for us. I would make a serious effort to get used to it, though.

The parade was also interesting. Marching Band must be cool at their high school, because it was huge. The middle school has a steel drum band! The best part of the parade was the "Westie" group. Over100 West Highland Terriers and their owners marched in the parade. Not only that, but all the dogs were wearing frog costumes! I'm told they do this every year, last year they dressed as loons. I've never seen anything like it. The little dogs don't seem to mind, either.

Rich people just seem to think differently than I do. We should have a zoo-type thing for them so we could watch them. This may explain the popularity of some of that reality TV, like "The real rich housewives of Texas". (I know 2 rich people, and they are both really nice. I like to visit them and see what is new. One has a microwave that is an undercounter drawer! It looks like a regular drawer, but it's a microwave! Fabulous. )

Although I would really like a big, neverending pile of money, There are probably some drawbacks, like worrying that somebody will kidnap your kids. That would be horrible. I'd rather be poor. (Let me point out that I know that as far as material possessions and such are concerned, I am blessed. By the standards of just about everybody in the world, I am rich. I (obviously) get enough to eat, I have a roof over my head, clothes to wear and easy access to excellent medical care. Not nearly enough people in the world can say this.)

I think there are advantages to NOT being rich like Paris Hilton. Such as:
1. We don't have fights over inheritance. We are not waiting around hoping for someone to leave us money, we know we have to go make it ourselves.
2. We are not shocked when something bad happens, we expect the s**t to hit the fan on a regular basis. Then we deal with it.
3. We won't be getting any of that hideous plastic surgery all the movie stars are getting. Why do they do that? It looks worse in the after pictures.
4. Our clothes don't go out of style from year to year, or if they do, we don't know or care.
5. Our kids can't get TOO spoiled.
6. We know people really like us for ourselves, not our cash!

I left book club early tonight to hit the William Kent Krueger book signing in downtown Anoka. I had told my friends that the last time I had a book signed by Mr. Krueger, he remembered me from the time before, complimenting me on my name and writing IN MY BOOK that it should be the name of a book character, maybe in HIS books! I was so flattered, he sees thousands of people! It's been a couple of years, so I didn't expect him to jump up and yell, "Kellet, great to see you!" which is good, because what he said was, "Hmmm...... Kellet, huh? What an unusual name, I've never heard that before!". Sigh.

Gotta go, but stay tuned. I'm working on something BIG! (NO, NOT a baby! put that out of your mind, RIGHT OUT!).

Today's recipe is for dog treats. Make them the right size for your dog, and while you could go all Martha Stewart and use a bone-shaped cookie cutter, remember that the DOG DOESN'T CARE!

Dog snacks

1 (6oz) jar turkey and rice baby food
1/4 cup beef gravy (use leftovers, the dog won't care)
1/4 cup water
2 1/2 cups whole wheat flour
1 egg white

Egg wash: 1 egg yolk mixed with 1 Tbls whole milk

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line a cookie sheet with parchment paper or foil. Mix all ingredients (except egg wash) together to make a dough. Roll out on a floured work surface to 1/2 inch thick. Cut into rectangles appropriately sized for your dog. Roll it thinner for small dogs, too. Put snacks on cookie sheet and brush with egg wash. Bake for 35-40 minutes (shorter time for smaller snacks) until golden brown. Cool before giving to dogs. Duh.

One for the books

2009-09-09T17:51:00.000-07:00

Shortest summer EVER! Man, and what do I have to show for it? (Besides a freezer full of corn?)
Well, I did read a lot. I read 42 books this summer, most of them were fluff. This is a good time of year for new books. Many publishers bring out new books in the fall. Maybe so people will buy them as Christmas gifts. I try to get most of them from the library, but I will be buying the new William Kent Krueger mystery. Also, my favorite author Diana Gabaldon is publishing the 7th "Claire and Jamie" book, "An Echo in the Bone" in 12 days. Just 12 days!

There is not enough time to read all the good books out there. If you are ever wondering what to read, I have a cool link for you. You type in the name of an author you like, and this site shoots out a grouping of similar authors. It's fun to watch. It's called "Literature Map" and it's at http://www.literature-map.com/

I found that site by blog hopping. See up at the top of my blog where it says, "Next Blog"? If you click that, you go to a stranger's blog. It's different each time. Some of them are in foreign languages, then you have to make up the photo captions for yourself. It's a real slice out of someone else's real life. They WANT you to read them, they posted them on the web!

I like to read cookbooks, too. I get a lot of the shiny, celebrity chef ones from the library. Jamie Oliver (the "Naked Chef" who, sadly, is never naked) has the most gorgeous photos in his books. They are food porn. The Julia Child book isn't. I'm thinking of selling my copy of "Mastering the Art of French Cooking". It's going for $30 on Ebay, and I'm never going to want to cook brains in wine sauce, anyway. Those recipes are way too complicated for me. The author of "The Silver Palate Cookbook" just died. That is a good cookbook. I'm keeping that one.

I also like books with recipes (big shock). Diane Mott Davidson and Susan Wittig Albert write mysteries with recipes. Jan Karon's "Mitford" series has it's own cookbook. Ruth Reichl wrote 3 autobiographies with recipes. She was the "New York Times" restaurant critic, so she knows a good recipe. I read a book by Kathleen Flinn called "The Sharper Your Knife, the Less You Cry". It is about her time in the Cordon Bleu cooking school, and has recipes from there. I will not be attending this school, I'm not paying frenchmen to yell at me! Jill Conner Browne (the author of the Sweet Potato Queen books, which have really yummy recipes in them) has a website, writes a blog AND will be your Facebook friend! Just ask! I'M on her friends list. I knew you'd be impressed.

Here'a a picture from last weekend. A bat was in the cabin, so we opened the doors and shooed it out. The brooms are merely for self defense.

Today's recipe comes from a book, my church cookbook! It's a little something different.

Mexican Stuffed Shells

12 ounce pkg jumbo pasta shells, cooked
1 lb ground beef
12 ounces medium or mild picante sauce
1/2 cup water
8 ounces tomato sauce
1 can (2.8 ounces) French fried onions
4 ounce can chopped green chilis (not jalapenos)
1 cup shredded cojack or cheddar cheese

Brown ground beef, drain. Combine picante sauce, water and tomato sauce. Stir 1/2 cup into ground beef along with drained chilis, 1/2 cup cheese, and half the can of onions. Pour half the remaining sauce mixture on the bottom of an 8x12 baking dish (9x13 is fine). Stuff shells with ground beef mixture. Cover with remaining sauce. Bake, covered, at 350 degrees for 30 minutes. Top with remaining cheese and onions. Bake uncovered 5 more minutes.

Squirrelly

2009-09-03T12:41:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling squirrelly! Not goofy (I think I covered that with my last rant), but like it's time to store up acorns for the winter. A little crisp fall air and I can't help myself, I start stuffing the freezer and cupboards full. A couple of weeks ago, Chris and I canned 52 pints of jalabeanos! That should last us a while. It took all day and we were exhausted! How did farm wives do it? They canned every day for weeks, all while doing their regular work AND feeding the work crews!

This is 9 dozen ears of corn. Paul went to Rochester and stopped at a farm stand. I told him that the cheapest price here was $3 a dozen (Coborn's), so he drove a hard bargain with the guy. They started at $6 a dozen and ended with $20 for 9 dozen. (I asked for 3 or 4 dozen). The boys helped me peel them and I spent all morning cutting off the kernals and scraping the cobs. Right now, it's all cooking in the roaster. When it cools, I will package it in ziplocks and stack it in the freezer. This winter it will be "fast food" when I microwave it for dinner. Intellectually, I KNOW that I can BUY corn, canned or frozen, all year round and don't have to do this, but somehow, I NEED to! I also need to make jelly, wine, beer, spaghetti sauce, frozen green beans, applesauce and more than one kind of pickle. Part of it is a "Locavore" thing, the idea that eating locally grown food is superior to eating food shipped from far away. Partly it's because I can make these things just the way we like them, and without a lot of preservatives. It just makes me happy to see the bags and jars of stuff I worked so hard on putting up. Unfortunately, this all is ready to be put up at the same time! With some of it, like wild grapes and berries, we have to do the picking as well as preserving. Grapes are having a good year, and I've got a batch of wine fermenting away. It will be a couple of years until it's really good, wild grapes are kind of sharp. I could not resist getting this going even though I had preschool open house last night and squeezing grapes makes my hands purple. Looked nice with my yellow shirt.
These are the balloons that were tied to the mailbox of a house that was having a garage sale. They lost most of their air, and were lookin' a little, um, testicle-ish. How are you doing with the hunt for outrageous garage sale items? I haven't received ANY photos yet! Don't make me win my own contest, people.

Speaking of outrageous things, I met this nice dog in a sundress at Joann's yesterday. Her name is Molly. She gets all dressed up and goes to the hospital to cheer up the patients. It must work, she made me laugh! Little Miss Molly wasn't even embarrassed to be wearing the sundress, (like my dog would be,) she seemed to like it. Paul says now she REALLY looks like musky-bait. In a hula-popper.

This is how you get juice from the fruit to make jelly. Cook it with a little water, smash it, and strain it in a jelly bag. I picked these door handles on purpose because they are so good to hang a jelly bag from. Don't be tempted to squeeze the bag, that will make the jelly cloudy (and your hands blue!).

I have to go, there's a farmer's market in Anoka today, and I think I need more green beans. Maybe some cucumbers.

Here is an easy recipe for making freezer jelly from wild grapes. It is delicious! Put it right back in the refrigerator after using it, as it has no preservatives it molds quickly. Be sure that you are picking grapes and not something else.

This is from"Abundantly Wild" by Teresa Marrone.

Wild Grape Jelly

1 1/2 cups grape juice from wild grapes
2 1/2 cups sugar
Half of a 1.75 ounce box of powdered pectin
1/3 cup plus 1 Tbls water

Combine juice and sugar in a glass mixing bowl, stirring to dissolve sugar. Let stand for 10 minutes, stirring occasionally. In a small saucepan, combine pectin and water, stir well, mixture may be lumpy. Heat to full rolling boil over high heat and boil for one full minute. Stir constantly.
pour over juice in bowl. Stir constantly until sugar is dissolved and no longer grainy, about 3 minutes. Mixture should not be cloudy. Pour into freezer containers, leave enough room at the top for expansion. Let sit at room temperature for 24 hours, it should be set. If it isn't, refrigerate it for several days or until set. Sometimes it may take up to a week. Then freeze it.

To make juice: Place washed grapes (no stems) in a pan, add 1/2 cup water per pound of grapes. (about 3 cups). Crush grapes with a potato masher. Heat for 5 minutes at medium heat, do not boil and crush again. Cook for 5-10 more minutes until skins lose much of their color. Strain through several layers of cheesecloth or in a jelly bag. You should get about 1 1/2 cups juice from each pound of grapes. When using the juice, leave the dregs in the bottom of the bowl, don't use it, it may cause your jelly to crystallize.

The Decline of Print Media (A Long Rant)

2009-08-31T07:29:00.000-07:00

I feel a rant comin' on! Am I the only person to notice that newspapers and magazines aren't what they once were? I love to read the paper in the morning. I read it and do the puzzles. It wakes my brain up. I like finding out what is going on in the world AND locally.

We get the Mpls StarTribune (STRIB). Lately I have begun to suspect that it is being written by college interns. I am tired of reading an article and wondering, "What do you suppose they MEANT to say here?". There are egregious typos and errors in usage. (Does the paper not have spell-check?) Maps are misprinted and never corrected. They dumped the "mistake correction" department ages ago, so all mistakes stand as the truth unless it's a lawsuit waiting to happen.

Most of the news comes straight off the wire service. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, it seems the other papers still have spell check and use words of more than two syllables. It does mean however, that someone has picked what THEY think we want for news. It's the local news that takes the biggest hit. It leans on opinion columns and police blotters. On Mondays, they combine the "world" and "local" sections into one section now. I know things are tough all over, but the paper is at least half advertising. I want NEWS.

My definition of what IS news is also apparently different from the world's definition. Paul says most people are getting their news on-line now, so I looked online. Maybe I'm looking in the wrong place, but the newspaper's website has even less news than the paper. It just skims the highlights, and does not put up all new content daily, so you don't know what's new news and what's old news.

Remember when Saturday Night Live had "Short Attention Span Theater"? That's what we have going on here. Not just Minnesota, but world wide. There was a morning news program we saw on vacation in England several years ago called "The Bigger Breakfast". It was just quick news headlines, leaning heavily towards celebrity gossip. Paul and I laughed, hah! "news" for 16 year olds! Now that's all any of us have. Look at the MSN homepage. Celebrity gossip and speculation.

Journalists used to strive for unbiased reports of things which have actually happened. Opinions were welcomed on the opinion pages. Speculation on news events was limited and limited to actual experts on the topics. Now it's all blurry as to what is fact and what is opinion. The Strib slants left, I know. If my news is going to slant, I at least want it to slant my direction.

Do you recall some time ago when the big news of the day was that Ashton Kutcher had more Twitter followers than CNN? I weep for the future. What Ashton had for breakfast should not be important to anyone but Ashton!

Magazines are losing content as well. One magazine I get has recently combined several similar publications into one. To serve me better. Yeah. Or to publish a magazine with half the staff. If I wanted to subscribe to a 4-wheelin' magazine, I would have done so! Also, I do notice when I used to get 12 issues and now I get 6 for the same (or higher) price.

Book publishing may soon be a thing of the past as well. It is so much cheaper to sell books online that there may be no more bookstores! I saw an episode of "Star Trek - The next Generation" one time that showed Capt. Picard reading an actual book and explaining to an amused first officer that he liked real books better than ones on computer. I thought, "That'll never happen!", but it's looking like paper books will be as obsolete as 8 track tapes. Just like most people now buy their music on-line, we'll be buying books the same way. We won't have a choice.

Like we didn't have a choice in the Hi-def TV switchover. I do not find it to be an improvement. After purchasing new tvs, converter boxes and antennas, I do NOT GET BETTER RECEPTION! I lose a lot of the sound to digital hiccups. My friend Mary Ann now has to put her TV in the middle of the floor and hold onto the antenna if she wants to watch FOX "News" (don't get me started). All those extra free channels we now get? Cartoons, hymn singing and one channel that never seems to have anything on it except a show in which bikini-clad women tour zoos. (Ion-life, channel 41-3). This is not better. Don't spit in my face and tell me it's raining!

Whew! Sorry, but I feel better! I have been reading "Julie and Julia". It is pretty good. It's about a woman who cooks every recipe in Julia Child's "Mastering the Art of French Cooking". I looked at my copy of the cookbook. This is a book about doing things the hard way. I would not be able to cook all those recipes without changing them. I wouldn't cook the yucky sounding ones at all. I try not to make nasty food on purpose! Anyway, Julie fights through the whole chapter on aspic. Aspic is meat (or fish) jello. Ick. This week I made tomato juice jello. It wasn't bad, actually, in a June Cleaver's bridge luncheon kind of way. As I tasted it, I was thinking it was like eating a Bloody Mary with a spoon. Then it hit me! Bloody Mary Jello shots! Genius! That would really liven up a brunch, wouldn't it? I'll give you the June Cleaver version and mine.

Molded Tomato Salad

2 envelopes unflavored gelatin
1/3 cup cold water
1/3 cup finely chopped onion
1/3 cup finely chopped celery
2 tsp sugar
1/2 tsp celery seed
3 1/2 cups tomato juice
1 tbls worcestershire sauce.
Spicy Buttermilk Dressing (recipe follows)

Soften gelatin in water. While it is softening, combine rest of ingredients (except dressing) in a pot and simmer for 5 minutes. Remove from heat and add gelatin, stir until gelatin dissolves. Pour into a pretty jello mold and chill until set. Unmold and serve with buttermilk dressing.

Spicy Buttermilk Dressing
1 cup mayo
1 cup buttermilk
1 tsp chopped parsley or cilantro
2 tsp tabasco sauce
1/4 tsp black pepper
Combine ingredients to make 2 cups dressing.

Bloody Mary Jello Shots

2-3 envelopes unflavored gelatin (see note)
1/2 cup water
1/3 cup each finely chopped onion and celery
1/2 tsp celery seed
3 1/2 cups Bloody Mary mix
1 cup vodka
Pickles, olives, pickled jalapenos as desired for garnish

Soften gelatin in water. (Note: use 2 envelopes gelatin if making shots in little plastic cups. Use 3 if you will cut it up into Knox-blox like squares). Simmer onion, celery, celery seed and Bloody Mary mix for 5 minutes. Remove from heat, add gelatin stirring until dissolved. Add vodka. Pour into little plastic cups or a pan that will give you one or one and a half inch squares of jello. Put a slice of pickle, olive or jalapeno on top, shoot away.

Smooth Saling

2009-08-27T15:14:00.000-07:00

"My name is Kellet, and I'm a purse addict". I'm a sick girl. (Not literally, I am over my virus, thank you for your well wishes).

I love purses. I love to buy them at garage sales where they are very reasonably priced. All but 4 of these handbags came from garage sales. Of those, 2 came from the Duluth Pack store (on sale) and 2 I bought at an illegal purse party! They are designer knock-offs, and were frighteningly expensive (to me) for poorly made plastic. Still, I was caught up in the madness and grabbed several ADORABLE bags and then put back all but two. Sick AND weak! I bought two more today. Mr. Ose does not understand (nor does any man) why I NEED so many of these. I must confess that last week I bought a basket meant to take a bottle of wine on a picnic and tried to use it as a purse. It was cute, but wouldn't hold a book, so I had to give it up.

This is the best (and possibly ugliest) garage sale item I have bought this year. It is a HUGE chair and matching ottoman. ($8). It does not fit in my living room AT ALL, either the decor or the size! However, the whole family loves it (including the pets) and we all fight to be the first in it after supper. Guess who never wins the race? MOM! (Somebody has to put the food away, so I always lose.)

This is last week's major score. Five sets of vintage salt & pepper shakers for 50 cents each! I collect these, adding to my grandmother's collection. The little orange dogs have a very evil expression on their faces, I'm a little scared of them.

Here is a mixed bag. The Pampered Chef Chillzanne platter was a great deal. The odd green bean slicer was not. It was supposed to french cut the beans, but instead it kind of chipped them. No good. Fifty cents down the drain!

Another bad deal, this hummingbird feeder leaked sugar water all over the deck.

The potpourri in the basket smells like aftershave. I don't like it. Also I bought two nice bras for 75 cents each. They were almost new! It wasn't until I got home and tried them on that I noticed the extra hardware. THEY WERE NURSING BRAS! Still, they are newer than anything else I have, and comfortable!


The goofiest thing I ever found in an alley is this throne. We use it for preschool.


This is "Chicken on a Throne" one of my favorite summer recipes. Rub a chicken with your favorite BBQ rub such as: Citrus Rub 4 Tbls Kosher salt 4 tsps black pepper 2 Tbls lemon zest 2 tsp dried marjoram 4 tsp dried thyme 1/2 tsp ground coriander OR: BBQ Rub 1 1/2 Tbls kosher salt 2 Tbls brown sugar 3/4 tsp cumin 1 1/2 tsp chili powder 1 1/2 tsp black pepper 1/2 tsp cayenne pepper 2 Tbls paprika 1 1/2 tsp onion powder 1 1/2 tsp garlic powder OR just rub that chicken with Lowrey's seasoning salt. Drink half a can of beer and stuff the can (and remaining beer) up the big hole at the bottom of the chicken. Put the chicken in a pan such as an 8x8 cake pan (disposable is genius, but flimsey). The bird should balance on the beer can with the legs providing the rest of the tripod. Put this in the grill, (or oven) close lid and cook until done (160 degrees, maybe 45 minutes?). The hardest part is removing that can without spilling boiling beer. The chicken is very moist and tender, with crispy, salty skin. YUM!


I apologize for the odd set-up of today's blog. I imported a "purse" recipe thinking it would be cute, but instead it was badly behaved and won't even let me delete it. It's down below here, messing up the margins. Serves me right for trying to do it the easy way!

Chocolate Beggar’s Purse

This is a fancy Greek dessert simplified. Inside a flaky pastry is a brownie topped with peanut butter and chocolate. The name comes from it looking like an empty purse. I serve these at dinner parties, and people are always impressed.

SERVES 8 (change servings and units)

Ingredients

1 (19 1/2 ounce) fudge brownie mix
1/2 cup oil
1/4 cup water
1 egg
2 (8 ounce) cans refrigerated crescent dinner rolls
1/2 cup creamy peanut butter
2 1/2 tablespoons sugar
1 cup chocolate fudge frosting

Garnish

vanilla ice cream
chocolate syrup, for serving

Directions

1
Coat bottom and sides of 9x9-inch baking pan with nonstick cooking spray. Combine brownie mix, oil, water and eggs. Beat 50 strokes. Bake according to directions on box, 350 for 30 minutes. Cool. Cut into 8 squares.
2
On a lightly greased baking sheet, separate dough into 8 rectangles. Firmly press perforations to seal. Place one brownie in the center of each rectangle.
3
Stir peanut butter and sugar in small bowl to blend.
4
Top brownies with 1 heaping tablespoon chocolate frosting and 1 tablespoon peanut butter mixture.
5
Pull four corners of dough to center of chocolate mixture. Twist firmly to form top of purse.
6
Bake at 350 for 20-25 minutes, or until lightly golden. Let cool at least 15 minutes before serving, but serve slightly warm.
7
When serving, cut each “purse” in half, displaying the inside. Add a scoop of vanilla ice cream, and drizzle with chocolate syrup.

Blah

2009-08-24T12:54:00.000-07:00

I'm sick. The boys both got this little bug last week, and now it's my turn. Headache, scratchy throat, feeling blah. I don't want to get off the couch. (How is that different from every other day?)

We had such a great day yesterday, too! I pulled 2 wheelbarrow loads of weeds, Nate mowed the lawn, Paul fixed the hot tub, then we cooked dinner (hotdogs) on a stick, over a little bonfire. I like a little fire but I stress over whether it's totally out or not. We always have a shovel and the hose handy when we have a fire, for my peace of mind. We live right by the Boy Scout camp, so there would be lots of fuel if our fire got away from us. We sprayed the fire when we went to bed, but I checked on it when I woke up in the middle of the night. Sure enough, there were still coals, so there I was at 3:30 a.m., spritzing down the fire pit in my nightie! I wouldn't have gotten another wink of sleep otherwise.

So anyway, today I feel like heck. The boys (neither of whom whined this much last week) assure me I'll feel better in a day or two. In the meantime I have an easy recipe. Nick brought this home from FACS class (family and consumer sciences or what we used to call home ec). I'm hoping that since it's "his" recipe, he'll make it for me!

Mock Orange Julius
1 can (6oz) frozen orange juice concentrate
1 cup milk
1 cup water
1/2 tsp vanilla
18 ice cubes
2 Tbls sugar, if desired

Place all ingredients (liquids first) in blender and blend until smooth.

Waste Not, Want Not

2009-08-20T09:08:00.000-07:00

Waste not, want not is an old saying meaning, "make use of what you have, or you must not want it". As a teacher, I don't get paid in the summertime, so we are really trying to make use of what we already have. Yesterday I made use of a nice, rainy day by cleaning my whole house! HAHA! No, not really! That would be silly. And NOT fun. I quilted. Also, it's hard to enjoy a nice rainy day when tornadoes go roaring through Mpls, creating 6 hours of tv coverage of the same downed tree. While I quilted, I listened to CDs I borrowed from the library. "Gaelic Storm" has a CD entitled "What's the Rumpus?" that is really fun. Putumayo's "Latin groove" was also excellent. I love the library.
So this was my project for yesterday. See? the kitty has a candy dispenser filled with mice. Cute, Huh? I have had this pattern for years and never started it. I am also trying not to buy new fabric and patterns until I use up some of the old stuff, and finish some of my UFO's (unfinished objects). All I bought for this one was a fat quarter (1/4 yard) of dark green, and the iron-on stuff. The cat was supposed to be black and white, but I changed him to look more like Merlin, who would LOVE a mouse dispenser. It is hard not to buy new fabric when it's all so pretty, those of you with paper stashes feel the same way, I know. While digging through my fabric, I found some cool stuff I had forgotten, so that was a bonus.

We have had a membership to Lifetime fitness for years. I am sorry to say that I have not always made use of it. Now I am signed up with our HMO to get money off the membership fee if I go 12 times a month. This is the motivation I needed! They are PAYING me to exercise. Somebody should, it IS work. I have gone back to yoga class. I actually like yoga. It is a really good workout, I get all sweaty and worn out and my muscles hurt for days, so it must be working! I like how the instructors say not to worry what you look like doing yoga (good thing, because I look like a walrus who can't make it up the beach) and not to worry if your body releases toxins (sweating) or gas. Well, now I have something new to worry about! What if I fart during that crocodile thing I hate so much? Also, I have to remember not to eat too much dinner before class, so I can actually touch the floor!
One of the ways I excel at not being wasteful is in not wasting food. I made a meatloaf once with crushed breakfast cereal instead of crackers. I didn't go over well. ("Why does the meatloaf taste like KIX?") Paul said he didn't know whether to put ketchup on it, or milk. They LIKED the one made with crushed Cheezits!
Farmer's markets are a great bargain. I buy lots of stuff that I put in the freezer for winter. It's easy to get carried away, though, and if you don't do something with this produce, you just threw your money away. Sweet corn is in season here, and it is really good! I often buy several dozen ears, cut off the kernals, cook it in the roaster and freeze it in dinner sized portions. Then we just nuke it when we want the taste of summer. Corn is sold by the dozen or half dozen. We are a family of four, so six is usually too many ears for one meal. I cook it anyway and cut off the corn from the extra. This can be frozen or thrown into something else (like goulash), or be reheated for the "smorgasbord of leftovers" we have whenever the leftovers start piling up. Today's recipe is for salsa you can make with leftover corn and stuff from your garden or the farmer's market.

Yesterday, I made the boys clean their rooms and try on all their clothes to see what they had outgrown (pretty much all of it, sigh). Nate found this in his room (it used to be a stuffed dinosaur)
and gave it to Nick. Nick doen't like to waste things either, so he says it's his new hat. He is going to make a great impression on his first day of high school!

Corn and Bean Salsa

1 can drained and rinsed black beans
Corn cut off of 2-3 cooked ears (or one can, drained)
1 small can chopped black olives
2-3 chopped fresh tomatoes
8 oz shredded monterey Jack cheese
1 bunch green onions, chopped
1 bunch cilantro, leaves chopped, stems discarded
1/2 tsp chili powder
1/2 tsp cumin
8 oz italian salad dressing
1/2 pound bacon, chopped and fried OR 1/2 pound of fried sausage
1 small can chopped green chilis (do not make the mistake of thinking this is the same thing as a small can of chopped jalapenos. Only substitute jalapenos if you really like it spicy!)

Mix everything and eat with those Tostitos tortilla chips that are like little bowls, or Fritos scoops. It's a pretty drippy salsa.

Blast from the Past

2009-08-16T17:00:00.000-07:00

Last night I went to an "informal" high school reunion. It was for the classes of 1980-1985 at St. Paul Central High School. It was held at O'Gara's in St. Paul. This was a great way to do a reunion, minimal cost (only what you ordered at O'Gara's), no pressure, come whenever, wear whatever.
I took my boys to O'Gara's in December. They said, "This is a good restaurant, Mom, how did you know it was here?" Because I GREW UP in that neighborhood! They were floored to find out I had a life before they were born. It was one of the first bars in which I tried out the new fake ID. We were pretty sure that if we turned our class rings around backwards, they looked like wedding rings, and therefore made us look older. Yeah, that fooled EVERYONE!

This is my BFF Maureen. We have been friends since 6th grade, (35 years by my count). If you do not have a friend of 35 years standing, my advice to you is to go and get one! Our parents were friends, our sisters were friends, our brothers were roomates, you get the picture, lots of history. Nobody can make me laugh like Maureen. We have been kicked out of shopping malls for laughing like hyenas! For a while, we tried on hats in every store. We both look silly in hats, Reen looks like Eliza Doolittle and I look like Mr. Ed. Each hat was funnier than the one before until, tears of laughter running down our faces, we were thrown out! Seriously, we were ROTFL. They probably thought we were off our meds. Maureen moves around a lot, she's a nomad elementary school teacher. Still, whether we are in the same state or not, we pick up our converstion right where we left off and keep going. Although we went to different high schools our senior year, Maureen and I (unknowingly) picked the same prom dress! (Gunnesax, of course!) It was Maureen who insisted we go to this reunion (and kept telling me, "You look just fine, build a bridge and get over it!") If you will recall, it rained like cats and dogs Saturday night, so I had that whole "drowned rat" look going for me. Anyway, we reconnected with lots of old friends.

One of our old friends was Norbert. I dated him when I was a a junior and he was a senior, something like that. We had nice dates, until he DUMPED ME! He told me he was breaking up with me because he "didn't want to sin"! For the record, I had NO INTENTION of sinning with Norbert (whom my family calls "Nerdbert" to this day.) Maureen said it was just that I was so cute, he couldn't stand the temptation. Don't ya love her? Anyway, Norbert is a very nice man, devoted to his wife and 6 children, so it all worked out. (Almost makes me sorry I told everyone he was becoming a priest!)

Next, Henry stopped by to chat. I dated Henry when I was a sophomore and he was a senior. My parents had a cow. My mother called Henry "that hood" because he wore a black leather jacket and smoked! It was like dating Fonzie. When Henry dumped me (to go to prom with Michelle M.) he gave me the whole, "it's not you, it's me" speech. Actually, he was very nice about it, but apparently felt bad because he apologized for the dumping last night! I assured him I was well over it and even had fun that prom night without him. Maureen was not helping and jokingly said that if Mike "Rook" Rogalski showed up, the trifecta of Kellet-dumpers would be complete!

Do you think that I dated mob guys, since everybody had a nickname? Mostly, it was my family. One young man showed up at a party at my house proudly sporting a sparse beard. My mother still calls him "old three hairs"!

The table we sat at started filling up with band people, choir people and drama people (I was a three time geek!) it was so nice to see them all. We caught up with each other and missed the people who were gone for good. On the way out the door, I saw Kathy Hallinan and gave her a big hug. She had no idea who I was. Awkward. When we got to the parking lot, Maureen and I figured out that I was thinking of PATTY Hallinan! (Hallinans are thick on the ground in St. Paul). Good thing we left.

How's it going teaching Nate to drive? Could be better. We were planning on cutting down this tree anyway.

I was looking for a "retro" recipe for you. This is one of Grandma Louise's. Refrigerator pickles are pretty old fashioned, you can tell when it has the notation, "A good keeper", meaning it lasts a long time in storage.

Kind of like old friendships, worth keeping!

Refrigerator Pickles

7 cups unpeeled, sliced cucumbers
1 cup sliced onions
1 cup green pepper rings (optional, in my opinion)
1 Tbls salt
1 cup vinegar
3/4 cup sugar
1 Tbls celery seed

Mix everything and store in refrigerator. Can be eaten in 2 days. A good keeper.

NOW, It's Summer!

2009-08-13T18:05:00.000-07:00

Baby, it's hot outside! I'm NOT complaining, it wouldn't be summer in Minnesota if the air wasn't thick enough to sleep on. Of course, we have air conditioning, so we are not suffering in any way. As a matter of fact, I went downstairs and found the boys wrapped in blankets, as the lower level is always colder than upstairs (where the thermostat is). I adjusted the thermostat so the kids wouldn't get frostbite and so we wouldn't have to give all our money to the electric company!

I'm starting to feel the end of summer coming near. I am getting the urge to can everything in sight. Today we picked chokecherries from the bikepath and I'm making syrup. You cannot imagine how good that is on waffles! Do you want the recipe for this? Not a lot of people pick wild stuff anymore (HAH! More for me!). It's only unfortunate that canning season coincides with the time of year you REALLY don't want to have a huge kettle of boiling water steaming up your house!

I was going to get so much done this summer, and I...haven't. I DID get the quilt top done for the church raffle. I didn't revamp the perennial beds, I didn't get all my recipes scanned into the computer, I DID get the koi pond in, I did read a lot of good books. (The 2 best were "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies" and "The Time Traveler's Wife").

I didn't watch a lot of TV, thank goodness. There's nothing on! Last night I saw the most disturbing show ever, it was called "Toddlers and Tiaras" and is about child beauty pageants. It is sooo creepy to see a 25 year old showgirl's face on a 4 year old's body. It is all about makeup, spray tans (even the African-American children), fake teeth, sequined dresses and wigs bigger than the child! I'm trying to put my finger on the difference, but if these same kids put on make-up, wigs and costumes and put on a play, I'd be all for it. I think the difference is that the child knows a character in a play isn't really her. It's about a skill, acting. The beauty pageant contestant is being judged on looks. (Yeah, I saw the "talent" portion). Anyway, I hated it.

I have been waiting for hot weather to give you this recipe. It's for cookies you make in the waffle iron! See, you don't have to turn on the oven and heat up the house! But you still get cookies! I wonder if these would work in the George Forman grill? Grilled cookies, brilliant!

You go make cookies, I'm going to go lay in the hammock, drink iced tea and read a book. I' m gonna enjoy summer while it lasts.

Waffle Cookies

1/4 cup butter or margarine
1/3 cup packed brown sugar
1 egg
2 Tbls milk
2/3 cup flour
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/3 cup chopped nuts (optional)

Oil waffle maker if needed. Preheat waffle maker. Beat butter for 30 seconds, add sugar, beat until fluffy. Add egg and milk and beat well. Combine flour and baking powder and add to wet ingredients. Mix well, stir in nuts if using. Drop by rounded teaspoons 2 inches apart onto hot waffle maker. Close lid, bake 2 minutes. Cool on wire rack. Drizzle with icing.

Icing

1/2 cup powdered sugar
several drops vanilla extract
2-3 tsp milk
-mix until smooth.

Squishy is good

2009-08-10T07:21:00.000-07:00

We went up north to the cabin which belongs to Paul's relatives this weekend. We had no sooner pulled in than Nick came running back to the truck yelling, "SKUNK"! There was a skunk by the door! We left it alone and it took itself off to the woods where it belongs. Then Nick went to turn on the propane. He came back yelling, "WASPS"! Paper wasps had built a big nest under the eaves and were buzzing around like crazy. They had to go. We went into town on Saturday morning and got wasp killer.

The good thing about wasp killer is that you can shoot it from a long way away. It still makes them pretty mad, though.

They were so mad that one stung Paul on the lip! He needed ice to keep the swelling down. Some of the wasps were able to fly a ways before succumbing to the poison. I stepped on one in the front yard (barefoot) and it had just enough life left to sting me! Then I squished it.

We stained the woodshed. We are all sloppy with paintbrushes. Luckily, the stain is a nice tan color, so we looked like we had spray-on tan. Lucy, too!

My sister and her family came up for the night. The cabin is kid-paradise, and Sam (8) and Ben (4) loved it. Especially the mud! Mud is good, nice and squishy! They also liked the treehouse, zipline, wheeler and piles of bones in the woods.

James and Sarah enjoying an adult beverage on the deck. I hear it poured in the cities, but there was just an off and on drizzle where we were.
We had a nice relaxing time that ended too soon. By the way, we didn't see a single squirrel! Probably out gathering reinforcements.

Did I mention Nate is learning how to drive? This happened backing out of the garage. Paul and Nate repaired the mirror on Sunday.

This morning the bellowing dog-beater was back in my yard at 5:45! I think he was a little surprised to have his ass (verbally) handed to him by a wild-eyed woman in a bathrobe, but I'm pretty sure he won't change his ways. I felt better, anyway. Now I'm a little worried that this bully will do something sneaky, though.

Today's recipe is for food that is deliberately squished. This is a sandwich that packs great in a cooler for a picnic or a weekend away. You can make it as squishy as you like. Me, I hate dry food so I add lots of juicy things. Paul wanted more meat and less squish. Suit yourself.

Squished Sandwich Loaf

1 big round loaf of bread (actually any shape would work)

Cut the top off the bread and pull out most of the innards. (Freeze these for stuffing.) Make layers of fillings, (I like the wet stuff next to the bread so it soaks in,) wrap in plastic, foil or a big ziplock. Put it on the bottom of the cooler, with the milk or something heavy on top. Put the milk on top of it in the refrigerator, too. At serving time, cut into wedges or slices. As you can see, my favorite fillings lean toward the Mediterranean, but you do what you like.

Sandwich fillings: (use any or all!)

Sliced sandwich meats, don't forget salami or pepperoni
Cheese of course, including soft cheeses such as chive-flavored cream cheese or feta
Roasted red peppers and/or spicy peppers
Sliced Tomatoes
Sauteed zucchini
Olives or olive paste (tapanade) (pretty much the reason I make this sandwich)
Pesto
onions
Marinated mushrooms
Artichokes or artichoke dip
Lettuce, spinach or other greens

Squash Boring

2009-08-03T18:48:00.000-07:00

Oh, No! My squash and pumpkins have a squash borer infestation! I hate this, the cure is disgusting, but if I don't do it, the plants I started from seed will wither and die. The adult squash borer beetles lay eggs on the base of the vines. the larva hatch and bore into the vines. I can tell mine have this because there are little piles of mealy/sawdusty gunk where the leaves attach. I am afraid this is larva poop.

I don't use any chemicals on the vegetables, although if I had any Bt I'd use it. I do spray the apples, or they are inedible.
So, to get rid of squash borers, slit the vine by the pile of larva poop with a sharp knife.

Reach inside with a pointy tweezers while holding the cut open and pull out that nasty grub! Yuck! If you don't own a turtle, throw the grub on the ground and stomp it! Look at all your plants, there may be more than one larva per plant.

Cover up the cut part of the vine with soil. Usually they heal up just fine. Keep checking the rest of the summer, though, those beetles will be back.

If you do own a turtle (technically, a box turtle is a tortoise, and an omnivore) let it eat the grubs. Tuttle says they are delicious and nutritious! He sure snaps them up quickly. He gets all the things I dig up while gardening. June bug larva are his favorite.

I don't have a recipe for grubs, so it will have to be a squash recipe, sorry.

Pasta with Peas and Zucchini Ribbons

1 pound pasta, whole wheat fettuccine or ribbony pasta is pretty
1 cup frozen peas
10-12 small zucchini, trim ends and slice with carrot peeler, knife or mandoline - 1/8 inch thick
1 1/2 cups whole milk yogurt or low-fat sour cream
1 1/2 cups loosely packed fresh basil leaves, very thinly sliced (other herbs are good, too, like cilantro or tarragon) Use pesto if you're in a hurry.
1/4 to 1/2 cup Parmesan cheese

Heat a big pot of water to boiling. Cook the pasta until it is almost done. Stir the yogurt and herbs together in a metal bowl over the boiling water to heat it up, about a minute. Set aside. Dump peas and zucchini into boiling water with pasta, wait 30 seconds and drain the whole pot. Mix with herb/yogurt mixture in a serving bowl, add salt and pepper to taste, top with parmesan and serve. Serves 4

Ten Dollar Words

2009-07-28T12:51:00.000-07:00

English is such a cool language. It is chock-full of words that are fun to say. We have the benefit of absorbing words from all the different cultures that make up America. Kind of like America's fabulous cuisine, where every meal in a day may originate in different country.

We have words that we made up right here, too, like y'all (y'all come back now, ya hear?) and lyrical native American words like mahnomen and tatonka (my favorite part of "Dances With Wolves" is where Kevin Costner's character tries to communicate with his new friends, he speaks english, but LOUDER).

A lot of words I like come from Greek or Latin. After I read seed catalogs, my brain whirls with the great names: Delphinium, Ranunculus, Foetida. Science is full of fancy words like hibernaculum (where snakes sleep in winter).

Some words are inspiring like "resolute", "ascendant" or "evanescent". They just roll around in my (admittedly empty) head. I like "whimsy", "Lalique" (french glass or porcelain) and the name "Jethro". Nate likes "diabolical", Nick likes "badger" and "Lithuania". I also like "hobnob".

They don't even have to be real words for me to like them. I read a series of books by Michael A. Stackpole in which he MADE UP great words like, "Preyknosery"(the name of a character), "Gyrkyme" (Preyknosery's race), "Temeryx"(a critter) and "Sullanciri" (a dark elf). It was days before I could get these words out of my mind!

Some words are silly, like "Tallywhacker". One of my very favorite things to say (or hear) is "Knickerbocker Liquor Locker". It is a liquor store in Fargo that I heard about in a radio ad. It just rolls off your tongue. I'm not the only one who likes this name. My niece, Mac, (who lives in Fargo) tells me that the phrase "Knickerbocker Liquor Locker" was banned in her middle school english classroom because of overuse!

Cooking words are so good, you can almost taste them. "Chiffonade", "shish kabab" and "ravioli" make me hungry. A really fun word is, "Spatchcock". This means a chicken is opened up flat by removing it's backbone. It is cooked flat, which makes it cook more evenly. Some people put something heavy on it, like a brick. Then it cooks flat and from top and bottom. That's a different recipe.

Spatchcocked chicken

1 whole chicken
2 garlic cloves
1 pint ricotta cheese
1 egg
1/2 cup parmesan cheese
1 Tbls each chopped fresh oregano and parsley

Spatchcock the chicken by removing the backbone with a big scissors or knife. Press it flat on a cookie sheet or other shallow pan.

Mince the garlic and saute it in olive oil. If you have any roasted garlic, mash that up instead and mix with the ricotta, egg, parmesan and herbs. Stuff about half of the cheese mixture under the chicken's skin. Squish it to make an even layer. Rub the chicken skin with salt, pepper and oil. Bake at 400 degrees until chicken is 170 degrees. Chicken may also be grilled. Bake extra stuffing until golden and puffy.

Wide-Awake Nuts

2009-07-23T13:33:00.000-07:00

From the Mpls Strib last Friday (abridged): Johann Scott Scrimshire, 42, was arrested about 6 a.m. near Calhoun Parkway after a 911 call about a man on a bicycle exposing himself to walkers and joggers. The officers who responded said Scrimshire told them he was training for a bike race on the West Coast in which participants ride nude. The officers said he was wearing a skirt-like garment or a pair of shorts with the crotch removed. "It clearly looked intentional" said the police spokesman. Scrimshire is a PARTNER (or he WAS at the time of the incident) in the lawfirm of Scrimshire, Martineau, Gonko and Vavreck. ("Denny Crane, my name's on the door"). Police had received a similar report in the area 10 days earlier, but they were not sure it was related to this case. (Yeah). Scrimshire says, "The charges are ridiculous, and the facts will come out in court."

Ok, are we getting this? Johann is caught waving his willy in the breeze, it's probably not the first time, and all he can come up with is "naked bike race"? You'd think a LAWYER could lie, er, think on his feet, better than that! When he left the house in his home-made pervert suit he needed to have a story aready made up, for pete's sake.

You're wondering if there even IS such a race, aren't you? Doesn't matter. It is quite ILLEGAL to hang your nuts out on Calhoun Parkway no matter what they do in lala land. A lawyer should know this. He should also have heard of a thing called a "stationary bike" that is used in the privacy of one's home, so one can "train" all day in one's birthday suit without being arrested. (Incidentally, my hubby thinks naked bike riding would be VERY uncomfortable.) But that's not the point, is it? The fun is in showing off your tallywhacker to people who, if asked, would NEVER agree to have a look at it. (This is really not the way to impress the ladies, my friend, penii are not pretty at the best of times.)

Johann's case comes up July 30th. As "Boston Legal" lawyer Alan Shore is off the air, I'll step in. He should tell them his shorts ripped. Accidentally, as he was riding. He was on his way home, so embarrassed. I'll be waiting for my fee if that works.

As long as we are on the subject of nuts, here is a red squirrel update. When we last heard of Mrs. Turdie (oh, yeah, it's a girl) she was scolding us from the rafters early in the morning of July 4th. Well, my guys went up north again last weekend. Three families were there Friday night so the rarely used Murphy bed was let down from the wall. (Do you see where this is going?) There is a HUGE CRATER in the center of the bed, with a baby SQUIRREL popping it's head out of it!!! There are also MORE moving lumps in the mattress! Paul and Nate quickly moved it outside. Mama squirrel obviously had another entrance. I'm told all the baby squirrels are happily living in the woods now. (Yeah, I know that is probably not true, but I don't want to know.)

In honor of Johann and his 6 a.m. "sexcapade" here is a recipe for......

Wide-Awake Nuts

4 cups pecan halves
1/2 cup espresso (instant is fine)
2 Tbls Kahlua Liqueur, if desired
1 cup powdered sugar

Toast pecan halves in 300 degree oven for 10-15 minutes (watch so they don't burn). Cover 2 cookie sheets with waxed paper and set aside. Simmer espresso, Kahlua and sugar for 10 minutes then pour over nuts in a bowl. Spread nuts on waxed paper to cool and dry.

Fishing Chicks Weekend

2009-07-20T16:57:00.000-07:00

This past weekend I went on a girl's fishing weekend with my friends Chris, Stacey and Kari. The trip was organized by Marilyn's Boutique in Rogers. I don't know how she did it, for $90 we got a fishing chick t-shirt, a pre-trip cocktail, a bus ride to Mille Lacs and back (and it was a nice bus, too, with a potty and everything) a fishing excursion on the biggest boat Eddy's owns, a bratwurst lunch on the boat and a hotel room at Grand Casino, which threw in $50 in gambling credit!

Here we are before we got on the bus. There were 24 of us. We brought coolers on the bus so we wouldn't get thirsty. We played bingo to pass the time.

Here we are on the boat. That is Stacey top left, Chris in pink, and me in blue with my arm around Kari.

This is Trent, he works for Eddy's. He and Captain Brian cheerfully baited hooks (not ours, we are real fisherwomen and bait our own), changed bobber depths and removed fish from hooks (OK, I did have them do that, fish are so wiggly!). These guys didn't even complain when we made them turn up the radio so we could sing along to "Love is a Battlefield". We sang that REAL LOUD!

I caught 3 fish, ranging in size from 4 1/2 to 5 1/2 inches. Look at my cool bobber earrings, also part of the package from Marilyn's.

That 4 1/2 incher won me the prize for "smallest fish". Besides bragging rights, I received the bobber necklace with "smallest fish" on it and funny napkins. The napkins say, "A good friend will come and bail you out of jail. A TRUE friend will be sitting beside you saying, "Damn....that was fun!""

If I do go to jail, here's the friend who will be sitting beside me! And then she'll probably charm them into letting us go.

Kari thought she had better cover up the "caught our" part of the sign since nobody caught any keepers.

Here is some of the fine merchandise available at Eddy's. These are can cozys to keep your beer cold. Classy.

This is Faye and Jody. They sweet-talked the crew out of the lead weights used to find depth. These looked really nice on their shirts. If strippers were tough, they'd wear these! Faye, incidentally, drinks Jagermeister and Red Bull. Together. I tried it, and I agree with Elizabeth Swan (from "Pirates") "It is a vile drink...."

We went back to the casino and had the buffet and tried to learn how to use the $50 gambling credit. It could NOT be converted into cash, sadly, because I tried. I have several vices, but gambling isn't one of them. I would much rather have money. However, I couldn't let the $50 go to waste, so I played the slots and won $70! Chris and Kari's mom Sherry met us for dinner and gave us a ride to the Blue Goose in Garrison. They had a really good band and almost all of the fishing chicks were there (in our matching t-shirts).

This is when the phenomena began. The Blue Goose was full of fellas. Young fellas, mostly, early twenties or so. They could not get enough of us! Even in high-necked t-shirts and bobber earrings every one of us was asked to dance! It was a "target rich environment"! Now, I've been clubbing with the Portner sisters (Chris and Kari) for 20 years now. They ALWAYS get hit on. I am usually totally invisible. (Actually, I am always invisible to young men. I don't care.) So this time guys actually see me and talk to me. I am a cougar! Very odd. I decided I wasn't missing much. Although nice to look at, (one of them kept showing us his tan tummy) you can't talk to these dudes. I had to explain to one of them who Van Morrison is! He asked if I'd ever heard of the band "Journey". Sigh. Not only have I heard of them, that was the first record (yeah, vinyl) I ever bought. 29 years ago. We all left the youngsters at the Goose and went to bed. We were all up past our bedtimes, so it was a quiet ride home on Sunday!

This was a very popular treat on the boat. Salt AND chocolate, yummy!

Cracker Brittle

Line a 10x15 inch jellyroll pan with foil and butter or spray it. Preheat oven to 350. Cover the foil with saltines, neatly, in rows. (You can also use club crackers or graham crackers. This is a good use for stale ones.) In a pan, melt 1 cup of butter or margarine with 1/2 cup sugar. Bring to a boil over medium heat, boil 2 minutes, stirring occasionally. Remove from heat, pour evenly over crackers. Bake at 350 for 15-18 minutes (watch carefully, this burns in a heartbeat) until golden brown. Spread a small bag of chocolate chips over this and spread it out when it melts. Cool and break into pieces.

Yippie Koi Yay

2009-07-15T13:42:00.000-07:00

I'm so happy! (I know, a nice change from crabby, right?) This weekend we finally installed the "water feature"! I have been wanting this for a long time. I put a trial one on the deck (in a plastic tote) 2 years ago to see if I liked it. I did like it quite a bit, until my Betta fish (Vermillion) leaped out to his death. Last year I found this nice rigid pond shell at (what else?) a garage sale for $5. The price was right and I had big plans. This spring I bought pond plants at the plant sales and kept them in the tote. When we finally agreed on a location, we started digging!

Liner in ground, water in pond (yay, no leaks!) plants in water, cute little fountain tinkling away, but something is still missing.....FISH! We were off to the pet store to get some feeder goldfish. The 17 cent kind were too small, so we went nuts and bought 3 of the 27 cent kind.

Then we turned around and saw the KOI! Little, yeah, but REAL KOI! Only $4.99, so we bought one. I don't usually name fish ( OK, other than Bettas), but a koi can live 60 years and get 2-3 feet long. A koi in Japan was proven to be over 250 years old! Obviously, a fish that may outlive me (Paul gives it a year, tops) needs a name.
I thought long and hard, and decided it's name is... Yippie Koi Yay. Yippie for short. The white goldfish is very fast and zips all over the pond, so s/he's Zippy. Skippy goes well with Yippie, so we have Yippie, Skippy, Zippy and....? Still trying to decide. Paul suggests Mississippi. The un-named fish is timid and hides alot. It is all orange. I'm taking suggestions.
The finished water feature! I love it! The only drawback is, now I worry about the fish. I check them every morning. I need to do more research to find out what to do in the fall. Does it all have to come inside? Where the *#&% am I going to keep that?

I also bought a George Foreman grill at a garage sale this weekend. Paul is still fuming because we got there 10 minutes too late for him to buy the welder. We need to go garage saling early and often. Unfortunately, the instructions were missing, so I'm trolling the internet for them. I found this recipe and it was delicious! We had it with steak and green beans out on the deck, so we could listen to the fountain and peek down at the finny four.

George Foreman Taters

Potatoes
olive oil
fresh rosemary

Slice potatoes into slabs 1/4 to 1/2 inch thick. They should all be the same. Coat them in olive oil and sprinkle with rosemary. Put them on the grill and plug it in. Cook them until they are tender and have nice grill marks. (5-8 minutes?) If you didn't get the huge grill (I did!) you may need to do this in batches.

I'm going to the library to get pond books AND George Foreman books, but I'm thinking PANINI!

Orangutans are Skeptical

2009-07-13T08:06:00.000-07:00

"Orangutans are skeptical of changes in their cages...at the zoo!" That is one of my favorite Paul Simon songs. We (my boys and I) went to the zoo on Friday with my friend Christine and her boys. For some reason, the orangutans were wearing t-shirts! They are able to take them on and off by themselves, so it must be fun for them? I like orangutans, but my favorites are the little mustachioed Tamarins. Too cute!

Here we are: Chris, Cole, Nick, Caden, and Nate. We toured the zoo and then had a picnic.

One of the strange things about my photography is how often I get pictures of animal behinds. Most of the time I am trying for a face shot and they move to show me their rear, but since it started being a trend, I took the photo of the ostrich's butt on purpose. He's going to get a sunburn if he isn't careful!

Mama Lion was VERY happy to have a nice cold bone to chew on this morning. She kept carrying her meatcicle around and then stopping to lick it.

Even the penguins moon me! Is it the penguins that make this building smell so bad? We can't blame the polar bears, they are in Detroit until the new exhibit is built. I hope they are getting therapy and/or medication for that OCD thing they have going.

The big gorilla scares me, frankly. Sometimes he pounds on the glass. The last time we went to the zoo, the glass was cracked! This time, he bent over to get a drink and took our picture! More than I needed to know about Mr. Gorilla.

This is one of the adult giraffes, but the new baby giraffe was so adorable. It was not out in the yard, it was in the building, so you could see it's big brown eyes. Thank goodness this giraffe has a tail, or we would see IT'S big brown eye! (sorry)

Don't say I never taught you anything.

I love the butterfly house. I could sit in there all day and watch the butterflies flit around. Sometimes they play classical music, which makes it even better. Unless you are a boy. A hungry boy. (sigh.) We left the butterflies and went to eat our lunch.

Butterflies like to eat flowers and fruit, apparently. Who knew?

Melon is such tasty summer food. I will share a good melon recipe with you. This looks nicest if you use a melon baller, but tastes just as good if the melons are in cubes. This is also good for a picnic or buffet, because it won't go bad and poison you!

Lime Melon Balls

1 cup water
2 Tbls sugar
1 tsp lime zest
2-3 Tbls lime juice
2 cups melon balls

Boil sugar and water, cool, add lime, pour over melon. Chill and eat. I think blueberries look especially nice with honeydew melon, so throw a few of those in if you have them.

I have heard both Rachel Ray and Giada say that "We eat first with our eyes". Must be something they make you say on the food network, but why not make it pretty?

Cuckoo or couscous?

2009-07-08T13:20:00.000-07:00

Just Beat It...It doesn't matter who's wrong or right...just beat it! Please, get off my TV, I mean it.

I'm sorry, I used up ALL my nice on that last post. (You know how it is.) I am not understanding the worldwide outpouring of grief for Michael Jackson. I understand that he made huge contributions to the music industry. I understand that he made huge progress for people of color in the entertainment industry.

What I do not understand is why we get so wrapped up in a celebrity's life that we would cry when they die, or wish to attend the funeral of a person we do not know. John Lennon died when I was in high school. One of my friends boarded the school bus that day in tears, to my utter mystification. He did not know John Lennon personally, yet was so upset he cried all day. (I brought this up to my friend via facebook the other day. He denies knowledge of the incident.)

The exception to this would be a world leader such as the president or the Pope. The death of such a leader will have an effect on the world and people are understandably bereft. This deserves to be televised.

To my way of thinking, celebrities work for me. They make movies, or music or whatever, for my entertainment. I do not wish to know about their personal lives. I do not want to know who they are sleeping with, or what their drug of choice is. I do like to see the gowns worn at special events, but that's part of the entertainment. I do not want to see undies (or lack thereof!). I do not want to see them locked in houses together, or throwing any hissy fits. Make movies, go on talk shows, go away. Maybe that's just me. When a celebrity dies, I think, "Hmm, I'm sorry for their family", and that's it. Life is hard enough without crying for people I don't know. I also do not want to see the family grieving, that's way too intrusive.

Back to MJ. I have a hard time with celebrating the life of a man who had such a history with children. I understand he was aquitted of child molestation. I also heard him say he likes to sleep with other people's children, and he didn't see anything wrong with it. At BEST it is inappropriate (in any culture) to sleep with a stranger's child. It is confusing and NOT in the child's best interest. At worst....well, I think we know.

So the media loved it when MJ would act cuckoo, hanging babies over balconies, etc. They called him "whacko Jacko", followed him everywhere, reported on his every move and made his life a misery, for profit. Because we will pay to watch this. Now that he is dead, they are whipping up a frenzy of grief and reverence equal to the frenzy of revulsion they whipped up previously. They are doing this because they are making money off every minute of TV coverage. The poor exploited child/man is still not free. It's just too sad to watch. Call me when the "Big Red Balls" show is back on.

Other cuckoo things I've seen on TV this week: Aerosol waffle batter (is that can recyclable?) and battery operated mascara. We live in a world gone mad.

This is a recipe for a very nice summer side dish that features couscous. This is actually pasta that is as small as sand. I like this (even though it is not swimming in sauce) because it isn't dry. I hate dry food. I also hate capers (useless, expensive nasty little things) so I leave them out, but I sometimes add pine nuts, because THEY are yummy.

Lemon-Broccoli Couscous

1 (10oz) box couscous (cooked according to pkg directions)
1 bunch broccoli, broken into stems, peel and chop big stems (4 cups)
1 pint cherry tomatoes, cut in halves or quarters if large
4 green onions, sliced up
1 Tbls capers
Grated zest of 1 lemon
Juice of at least one lemon (better get 2)
4 Tbls Extra Virgin Olive oil
1/2 cup chopped fresh cilantro
freshly ground black pepper

optional additions:
2 Tbls chopped fresh mint
1 jalapeno chili, seeded and minced
chopped red pepper
radish, carrot, olives

Bring a medium pot of water to boil. Cook the broccoli (with a pinch of salt) 4-5 minutes, until broccoli is tender. Drain and rinse in cold water then finely chop broccoli. Mix it all up, adding more lemon juice, salt or oil as needed. serves 6

Up North for the Fourth

2009-07-06T08:45:00.000-07:00

We went "up North" to the cabin which belongs to Paul's relatives for the holiday weekend. When we got there we found this really huge spider! That's a 5 gallon bucket above it, so you can see how big that puppy is. Luckily, this is OUTSIDE the cabin, so we didn't have to evict it. However, the cheeky red squirrel (all of which are known as "Turdy" since the time one jumped onto Peter from the outhouse) needs to GO! I woke up Saturday morning to a loud scolding from this beast. It was IN THE CABIN, sitting on a rafter, YELLING at us! Later that day, it made another pass through the interior. I meant to say, "Look, that stupid squirrel is back inside", but all that came out was, "EEK!EEK!EEK!EEEEEKKKK!!!!" He came back for a Sunday morning wake-up call, too. Paul nailed more wood over the most recent entry hole, at least it will slow him down.

Next on the agenda, mow the lawn.

Lucy by the Orange Hawkweed. Poor thing is so deaf, she didn't even hear the squirrel. She didn't hear the firecrackers, either, and that's a good thing!

Next we went into Moose Lake for fishing and tubing. We caught a mess of crappies, which were tasty! Nate practices his meditation, "Ooom mani padmi, HIT IT!"

The new tube is so stable, it can hold them both.

Here is Nick, tubing. Sand Lake is really busy on the 4th, so Paul was extra careful. I will cheerfully outlaw those stupid waterbikes, though. The riders never look where they are going!

We went up to Duluth for the carnival and fireworks. This ride shot you up and dropped you down. Both boys agreed never to go on it again, it was so scary!

Waiting for the fireworks. We missed Martin Zeller play at the bandshell. He is most famous for the classic, "I wanna drive a zamboni". We did get to hear the Duluth orchestra play a nice medley of show tunes, though.

Nice fireworks display in Duluth. They coordinate with music on the radio, which is cool. I liked the smiley face fireworks during "What a Wonderful World".

Paul finished siding the woodshed, it turned out pretty well.

This is the word's best mousetrap (credit Grandpa Vern). The mouse (or squirrel, hopefully) walks up the board, jumps onto the peanut butter covered popcan, which spins, dumping it into the antifreeze, where it drowns. Seriously, this works like a charm, we need a minnow scoop to get them all out!

Paul's sister Gracia was in town from Florida for the weekend. We had dinner with her at Grandma Ose's house Sunday night. We had barbequed chicken, with extra chicken for a salad tomorrow. Gracia used to work a "California Pizza Kitchen" where she learned to make this great salad. I like it because it's nice and sloppy. I hate dry food.

You know what jicama (hickama) is, right? Crispy root vegetable, eaten raw?

BBQ Chicken Salad

12 corn tortillas, cut into strips and fried in oil until crisp, divided in half
1/2 head iceberg lettuce
1/2 head Romaine lettuce
(go ahead and get 2 bags of prewashed lettuce if you like, greener = better)
12 basil leaves, thinly sliced (only if you are growing this in your garden, otherwise it's optional)
1 lb jicama, peeled and cut into matchsticks
2 cups shredded Monteray Jack cheese
1 cup cooked black beans (canned is fine)
1 cup white corn (canned or frozen, yellow corn is just fine, too)
3 tbls chopped cilantro
2 lbs chopped tomato
3-4 cooked BBQ'd chicken breasts or the equivalent leftover chicken, cut into bite-sized pieces
Ranch Dressing
1/2 cup BBQ sauce
1/4 cup chopped scallions

Toss together all ingredients except chicken, BBQ sauce, scallions and half the tortilla strips, these go on top, with the BBQ sauce squirted on last for extra prettiness! Deep frying the tortilla strips is kind of a pain, especially in summer (it's HOT, that's why we are eating salad, for pete's sake!) so feel free to crunch up some tortilla chips and mix them in. Perfect use for what's left in that big bag from Costco, right?

Strawberry Goodness

2009-07-02T13:41:00.000-07:00

We picked strawberries this morning. We live on the geologic area called the "Anoka Sand Plain". Glaciers dropped lots of sand here, I think. It is a pain for gardeners because the water and nutrients drain right through the soil. We are big fans of compost here. Strawberry plants like this kind of soil, though. There are quite a few strawberry farms up here.

We like to go to Berry Hill Farm to pick our berries. They should have them for another week, yet. Call before you go. The berries you pick are $1.65 a pound. Costco's berries are $1.50 a pound. The difference is that grocery store berries are bred to withstand shipping cross-country. Local berries are bred for TASTE! Plus, I like to give money right to my local farmer. You are allowed to eat as you pick, too! I didn't get a lot of strawberries, because I still have some from last year, but I needed some of these today! I will give you my 2 favorite strawberry recipes, too.

After berrying, I went to Costco where I saw this really cool purse/totebag! Look, it has a really big CLOCK on it! Your teenager would never be able to be late for curfew again. When I was a teenager I tried turning my watch back as an excuse for being late ("Oh, sorry mom, my watch must be broken") unfortunately, my mom invented that excuse and didn't buy it.
Then I went to joann's to get the new "marty mag" (Martha Stewart magazine). Then I went to Kohl's because they sent me free money! They sent me a coupon for $10 off anything in the store. While I was there I tried on perfume. If you know me, you will not be surprised that I could not stop at one kind, I have to try lots of them. If you don't know me, you will still smell me coming from a mile away, I smell like Saturday night at the cathouse! Sadly, most of the perfume fades pretty quickly. By the time Paul gets home I'll probably smell like bath night at the nursing home.

One of our favorite salads (well, 3/4 of us like it, Nick refuses to eat spinach) is spinach with shredded cheese, sliced strawberries and italian dressing. This recipe steps that up by making the dressing out of strawberries, too. The recipe suggests adding pecans to the salad, as well.

Strawberry Vinegar

1/2 pound strawberries (1 1/2 cups)
1 cup white balsamic vinegar (or other mild vinegar, like champagne or tarragon)

Buzz this in the blender and let it sit at least an hour. The recipe says to strain it, but I didn't and it was just fine. Use vinegar to make salad dressing.

Strawberry Vinaigrette

5 Tablespoons Strawberry vinegar
6 Tablespoons olive oil (extra virgin is best)
Salt and pepper to taste

Shake this all in a jar just before serving. It is really good on spinach salad with strawberries and shredded cheddar and/or pecans. This cannot be beat as a side dish to a nice steak.

This is to-die-for cheesecake. It was Marty's Dessert of the Month a few years ago. I'm simplifying it a bit, you know how over the top Marty is. You can use any cookies for the crust, sugar cookies are especially good.

Strawberry Cheesecake

1 1/2 pounds strawberries, green caps removed
3 Tbls light corn syrup
1 1/2 cups graham cracker (or cookie) crumbs
1 cup plus 3 Tbls sugar, divided
3 Tbls melted butter
2 pounds cream cheese
8 ounces of neufchatel (light cream cheese) or marscarpone cheese
1/4 tsp salt
1 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
2 eggs

Preheat oven to 300 degrees. Place strawberries in a single layer on a rimmed baking sheet. drizzle with corn syrup and toss gently to coat. Bake until syrup thickens and berries turn deep red and shrink slightly, about 1 hour to 1 1/2 hours. Don't let it burn. This step concentrates the flavor of the berries. Put berries and syrup in a bowl and mash with a potato masher or fork.

Raise oven temperature to 325 degrees. Mix graham cracker crumbs, 3 Tbls sugar and melted butter and press into 9-inch springform pan. Wrap 2 layers of foil around pan so it will be watertight later on. Bake 8-10 minutes.

Beat cream cheese in mixer until creamy, about 2 minutes. Scrape down sides and add eggs one at a time, mixing well after each addition. Scrape down sides and add vanilla and neufchatel or marscarpone. Mix until no lumps remain. Stir in strawberries. Pour into prepared pan.

Put pan into large roasting pan. Fill roasting pan with boiling water until water reaches halfway up the sides of the cheesecake pan. Bake cheesecake until set, about one hour to one hour, 10 minutes. Remove cheesecake from water bath, cool, refrigerate until cold.

Have a great 4th of July, be safe!

Not Nice Food

2009-06-30T10:44:00.000-07:00

I'm not wild about it being this cold here. Last week I complained that it was too hot! Ever hear the expression, "She'd complain if they hung her with a new rope"? That's me. I'm a little bored and a little cranky and 4th of July is my least favorite holiday (too much noise and worry and alcohol for my comfort) so I can't even look forward to that. Hmmm..... I think I'll make fun of something!

Regular readers know that I like recipes (irregular readers should buy some of that Activia yogurt). In the search for good recipes, I come across some that could not possibly, in any way, be nice to eat. In my younger days, I could not easily tell the difference and cooked some of these. Once I made dinner for Paul (who was not yet my hubby) and his cousin Peter. It was a "Tuna-upside-down-casserole." You lined the bottom of a pan with lemon slices and poured a tuna-goop mixture over that, then a cornbread mixture. It was to be baked and turned out onto a platter. The problem was, Paul doesn't like cornbread and Peter doesn't like tuna and I don't like it when lemons interact with aluminum pans and make everything taste like tinfoil! I also made a dish that involved a kiwifruit sauce for Tilapia (fish). All I could get out of Paul was that it "wasn't his favorite". For a Minnesota Lutheran, that's a scathing indictment!

I was reminded of my lemon/tuna failure when I saw this recipe in the Hackensack Union Congregational Church Cookbook (1982). I have no idea how this cookbook came to be in my possession, but I could not get over how bad this sounded. Mary Ann (the boss) says she has eaten this and it is indeed awful. The person who made it for her (more than once, because Mary Ann is Lutheran, too, and too nice to retch in public) also added sliced black olives.

Tuna Salad

Mix and chill until syrupy:
2 pkg lemon jello 1 1/3 cups boiling water
Add:
1 cup Mayo 4 grated hard-boiled eggs
1 family size can tuna 4 Tbl sweet pickle relish
2 cups (!) chopped celery 4 Tbls lemon juice
Fold in 1 cup heavy cream, whipped. (that's right!) Pour into 9x13 pan and chill. Nice on lettuce.

I saw this one in an old cookbook at a garage sale. You were supposed to take a Shredded Wheat biscuit (the big ones, the size where 1 is breakfast) and cut off the top and hollow it out to resemble a treasure chest. Then you put a nice raw oyster inside, put the top back on and steam until the oyster was done and the shredded wheat was "tender" (soggy). EWWW!

Lest you think it is only seafood recipes that can go awry, here is one that maybe kids would like. You may not however, call it "salad". That's just wrong.

Cookie Salad

2 (3.4-oz) pkg instant vanilla pudding
2 cups buttermilk
1 (15oz) can mandarin oranges, drained
1 (16 oz) Cool Whip
1 pkg fudge striped cookies

Mix pudding and buttermilk. Mix oranges and cool-whip and combine mixtures. Crumble cookies adn just before serving, mix 3/4 into mixture and sprinkle 1/4 on top.

Foreign foods may be delicacies to foreigners, but to me, "Liver dumplings", "Lutefisk Pudding", "Red Bean Dessert Soup" and ANYTHING involving tripe is not nice food.

This one sounded so crazy that I had to try it. It wasn't as bad as I'd thought, but a little salty.

Velveeta fudge
1 lb velveeta cheese
1lb margarine
1 1/2 cups cocoa
4lbs powdered sugar
1 Tbls vanilla
Chopped nuts (optional)

Melt cheese and margarine in a microwave until melted and blended, stirring every 1-2 minutes. Mix in rest of ingredients and pour into buttered jelly roll pan. Freezes well.

Someone gave me a bunch of beets with greens. I am looking for a good recipe or two to use these up, but a lot of the recipes look nasty. The one involving bacon looks promising, though. It's hard to ruin bacon! Since I have given you so many questionable recipes, I will give you one that sounds weird, but is really good!

This uses kiwi to tenderize the meat. It's an enzyme in the kiwi that does it, so do not marinate too long, or the meat will have an unpleasant texture.

Kiwi Teryaki

2 kiwi, peeled
1/4 cup dry white wine
1/4 cup soy sauce
1/4 cup brown sugar
1 clove garlic, peeled
1-2 tsp peeled, grated fresh ginger
1 tbls oil

Yep, whomp it in the blender and pour over a couple pounds of round steak (other meats work too, but cut down or eliminate the marinating time). Marinate round steak 30 minutes, then broil or grill, brushing on more marinade. Watch it so the sugary sauce doesn't burn.

Hey, I feel better! Who will I make fun of tomorrow?

May we see your photos, please?

2009-06-24T14:02:00.000-07:00

We have returned from the Boundary Waters! It was a great trip! The worst thing that happened was when the canoes came untied from the roof of the truck while we were speeding up 35W. The Weenonah swung out at an angle right into the next lane! Luckily, nobody hit us and we pulled over and retied everything. (And then I threw up!) (Almost).

The lake is like glass in the early morning.

One of the best things about going so far north (almost to the Canadian border), is having time to reconnect with each other.

This beaver lived right by our camp on Basswood Lake. He was awake all night and splashed and chewed and made a racket. At least I blamed every noise I heard on him, I'd rather think it was him than a BEAR!

Lucy loves to go to the BWCA. She jumps in the lake every 5 minutes to get a drink (why she needs to be up to her belly in water to get a drink is beyond me!). She doesn't jump out of the canoe, though, she likes to nap on top of the Duluth packs.

At our first campsite, we had to evict a Red Eared
Slider. It spent the whole time we were there just floating offshore and watching us. I think it was eating ants by the firepit.

At every campsite after that, we were watched by turtles. This is the head of an enormous snapping turtle that had the last day's watch. We called this the "Turtle Surveillance Network". They may have been spy drones controlled by the park rangers, or else all the forest creatures are in it together. We knew we were being watched and followed all the rules.

Nick makes his pizza, his favorite camping meal.

This is the latrine. A person was in danger of being carried away by mosquitoes (or dying of blood loss) just by getting near it. I wore complete rain gear and LOTS of DEET.

Remember the spaghetti sauce? Here it is re-hydrating. (It was delicious!)

Nick caught a walleye! He caught quite a few, actually.

Nate caught fish, too. This is a perch.

Look, I caught fish, too! This is a Northern and a Walleye. They were delicious! Almost as delicious as the swim I took that afternoon.

Paul is pumping water through the filter for us to drink. We don't want to get Giardia or some other awful disease.

I made Lucy a backpack so she could carry her own food. She looks pretty cute in it on the portages.

Washing dishes in the rain. It only rained twice, both times at night.

I hate this picture, (I'm posting it on the fridge) but I am comforted knowing that I actually LOST weight on this trip. (Maybe if I carry the canoe around the yard every day.......)

Nick demonstrates the use of the "tump-line" on the Duluth packs. The portages we went over were for canoes AND boats. The boaters slip wheels under their boats and haul them over the land. We kept paddling until we were out of the area where boats are allowed.

Nate carries a canoe over the portage. These were portages around waterfalls.

We left the woods and went to the big city of Ely. Sadly, our motel had our reservations wrong, so we had to go to the (Ultra-plush) Grand Ely Lodge! They have cushy queen-size beds and lots of pillows, yay! After a very long shower, I slept like a log. Probably because I didn't have to listen for bears all night.

On our way home on Sunday we stopped for lunch in Cloquet. If you ever go through Cloquet, stop at "Gordy's Hi-Hat" for burgers. They are soooo goood! I had to march around the backyard with a canoe on my head for a long time to work that off!

"Heads will Roll" Skull Quilt

2009-06-22T09:21:00.000-07:00

I found this great fabric at Joann's a couple of years ago. It was sparkly and flowery and had big colorful skulls on it and yet it seemed "happy". It came with 2 background colors, black and pink, and I bought some of both. Because of the size of the skulls, it was perfect for a "stack-and-whack" treatment. I own the book "One Block Wonders" by Maxine Rosenthal and most of the quilt is made of the hexagonal blocks made by cutting 6 identical triangles from the fabric.
Then I appliqued skulls I cut out of the rest of the fabric onto the quilt. For some reason, I thought this quilt needed to show skulls rolling off a cliff and collecting in a pile at the bottom of the cliff. I believe this fabric is a Mexican "Day of the Dead" design. This is a day that is celebrated the day after Halloween (All Saints Day). It is a happy family festival when families get together and clean and decorate family graves and eat skull shaped treats and remember loved ones. From what I read, this day is an interesting mixture of Christianity and ancient beliefs. Since quite a bit of the history of how western Europeans treated the indigenous people is a bloody mess, I think that all stewed around in my brain until this came out. This is the first quilt I have made that I didn't feel that I controlled. I started to say things like, "The quilt wants fringe (like on a pinata)". (I talked the quilt out of that, I tried it and it was too much.)

This is a close up of the hexagon blocks, all jammed up against each other. I like how it swirls and moves, and quilted it to emphasize the spinning.

There is the whole thing. I quilted "bounce lines" into it so you could see where the skulls bounced off the cliff before landing at the bottom.
There is the pile of skulls. My feelings were not hurt by being called a "sick puppy" by the people at the quilt show. The ladies who did not "get" it were a couple of generations older than I am and I don't like every quilt I see, either. Lots of people said, "OOh, cool!" too, though. At this same show was a quilt with large (12 inch!) rubber centipedes sewn on it, so I think I'm in good company. I've made a lot of quilts that look just like the pattern, and I like them just fine, but the ones that are one-of-a kind are that much more special and have more of "me" in them (for better or worse!).

I am happy to say we had a great trip to the BWCA and as soon as I get the 35mm film on a cd, I will post photos of that. I love my Canon AE-1, it takes better photos than the digital and has a killer telephoto lens, but it is becoming increasingly difficult to get this film developed, or even to buy it!

Quilt Show!

2009-06-12T17:11:00.001-07:00

I went to the MN Quilter's show in Duluth today. It was a long drive up and back, but it was worth it. I go to this show every year, it is so inspiring. I come home with my head so stuffed with new ideas that there is no room for anything else.

This was a small (wall hanging) quilt. All those little lines are quilting. This much tiny quilting in swirly lines is called "McTavishing" after a Duluth quilter. There are also lots of beads on this one. Very fancy!

Here are 2 nice quilts with good use of color, especially turquoise. I like to use strong colors in my quilts. (Turquoise is always good!) Other people make beautiful quilts with pastels and lots of browns, but I couldn't stand to spend that much time on something that did not have colors I love in it.

Paul likes this picture. As an engineer, he is attracted to straight lines (really attracted. Really straight lines.) This quilt is done in reproduction 30's and 40's fabrics.

This is a detail of the previous quilt. For some reason it reminds me of my friend Gretchen, who makes beautiful cards. I find myself wishing that some paper would be available as fabric, and that some fabric would be available as paper! I like to scrapbook, and most of that equipment and supplies can be used for cards. Problem is, my brain just doesn't work that way. I was talking with a friend who sews clothes the other day. Same supplies and equipment as quilting, but she just couldn't fathom why you'd want to cut the fabric up into tiny pieces and then sew it all back together again. (Likewise, I HATE to sew clothes, it's too HARD!)

There was more than one President Obama Quilt. People really put their hearts into their quilts. The most meaningful quilts (to me) at this show were about Alzheimer's disease. Photos were not allowed or I would have taken a picture of every one. They were about loss, loss of loved ones, loss of one's self, loss of lives lived with joy. These quilts, although not technically as perfect as the art quilts were the best thing about this show.

This quilt was eye-popping in person. Purple and green are secondary colors and look good together (I think). Look how sharp all those points are, I think they were paper pieced.

Look at this bear! It was all made with tiny pieces of fabric. I don't know how many pieces, but a similar one of a wolf had over 13,000 pieces!

Close up of the bear quilt, with my fingers to show size. I am not touching the quilt, however, that is strictly forbidden.

This quilt is based on a photograph. The trees are made by "Thread Painting", using the sewing machine to apply color like paint.

I took this picture for Paul, who is a big Monty Python fan. The title is, "Every Sperm is Sacred" after a song in "The Meaning of Life". I love quilts that make people gasp. I did not have a quilt in this show, but I entered one last year. It was my skull quilt. I admit I hung around my quilt listening to comments people made. Apparently, I am "one sick puppy"! All I have to say is, wait until they see what I'm making for next year!

I love to see what is new in the quilting universe. This year, Kaffe Fassett fabric was all the rage at the vender's booths. I don't like it (it looks like what a hippie throws up), so I passed that by. Quilts are still being jeweled and beaded, but this year Angelina fibers and sheets were all over.
Everybody was selling totebag and handbag patterns, too.
I was able to hold myself back from buying too much fabric, I only bought 5 fat quarters (all batiks, of course), and 1 new pattern.

Good thing I got my janome (sewing machine) tuned up, I'm ready to quilt!

Boundary Waters Bound

2009-06-09T12:28:00.000-07:00

We're going to the Boundary Waters Canoe Area Wilderness soon. (Not next week, of course, that's when all the cops are staying here.)

So I'm busy, busy, busy getting stuff together. Now this picture may give you flashbacks, those of us who were troubled youths. (Not me, of course, and remember that drugs kill, kids). Anyway, these tubs of drink mix make 2 quarts. The Nalgene bottles we bring hold 1 quart. It's easier to divide the powder in two at home and put it into little ziplock bags, for mixing THERE.
Those little tubs leak all over the pack, too.

I'm dehydrating everything I can, as well. Campers are not allowed to bring cans or glass containers into the BWCAW. Plus we want it all to be as light as possible since we will have to pick up and carry (portage) all our stuff between lakes. Here I'm making spaghetti sauce into a "fruit-roll-up" type thing. It will be rehydrated in camp.

It's difficult to think of everything you need for a week and then get it to fit on your back. The food pack goes up into the trees at night, so as not to attract bears. I'm a little paranoid about this ever since the time we had a couple of bears in camp up on Rainy Lake. Christine and I played hard rock to scare them, but I think they liked it. I swear Mama Bear was dancing as she stood on her back legs and looked at us over the top of our tent. We got tired of banging the pots together all night (more scary noise) and made the guys move camp to a bear-free spot.

Just as important as the chow are the books I'll bring. I've been saving up magazines for weeks, so I can read them up there. I know I'm bringing "Twilight", cuz I've meant to read that for a year, but what other summer trash can I bring? I'm also bringing "The Shack" to counteract all the books full of sin! I won't bring all of these but I don't want to run out. There is nothing worse than a vacation without a book.

Last but not least, I always paint my nails a dark color for a week in the woods. (This makes it harder to see how dirty my feet are.) We will be swimming and washing (not washing in the lake, of course) but the layers of bug dope, sunscreen and dirt really take some scrubbing to remove. We like to stay in a hotel in Ely when we leave the woods, so we can scum up THEIR showers!

I keep notes on what worked each year (and what didn't). This syrup recipe is great, much better than trying to bring liquid syrup. My mom used to make all our syrup with Mapleine, and it's good, so the rest of the bottle won't go to waste. We like Krusteaz pancake mix and it is the kind that you only need to add water to, so I'm bringing that for one breakfast. This oatmeal recipe sounds good, too, so if I don't buy instant oatmeal, I'll adapt this one to use powdered milk.

BWCAW Syrup

1 cup sugar
1/4 tsp Mapleine maple flavoring
Put sugar into a zip-lock bag, pour Mapleine over sugar and mix around to coat the sugar with flavor and avoid lumps. At camp, add 1/2 cup water and boil to dissolve sugar. Makes about a cup of syrup.

Chai Oatmeal

1 1/2 cups milk
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp ground coriander
1/4 tsp ground cardamom
1/4 tsp turmeric (Kellet would omit this, but might add a pinch of cloves, ginger and nutmeg)
A drop of vanilla
2 tsp honey
3/4 cup rolled oats
2 tbls oat bran

Optional toppings:
raisins, pistachio nuts, almonds, yogurt, milk

Pour milk into saucepan, add salt and spices and simmer without boiling for 5 minutes. Add vanilla and honey and stir to dissolve honey. Add oats and bran, stir, cover and simmer about 8 minutes, stirring occasionally until thickened and oats are done. Serve with toppings. 2 servings, supposedly.

What are the odds?

2009-06-04T14:09:00.000-07:00

Lets talk about odd things. I see lots of odd things while I am out and about. For some reason the pet store is always full of things that make me ask, "What the hell why?"

Here is a nice set of doggie goggles. I don't know if they were for swimming or to be used as sunglasses, but I can tell you Lucy would have them off in 2 seconds.

Here is a doggie t-shirt (odd enough already) that features 2 dog's backsides with the caption "Tunnel of Love". No backside EVER should be captioned "Tunnel of Love". That's just nasty. Who is the target audience here?

This is a chenille mitt for drying off the dog after a bath. God forbid you use an old towel. Actually, though, it was very, very soft. I think they could sell more of these if they sold them for drying off mommies.

This (and I am not making this up) is a cat in a bag. It is a fake tabby fur "cat" that holds a hot water bottle. When you add batteries it purrs and has a heartbeat. It is supposed to comfort your new kitten, but again, I'm thinking I know a lot of women who would like a cat that keeps your feet warm but doesn't need to eat or use a litterbox. Good idea, bad marketing.

Last Saturday I went to the antique/flea market at the Anoka County fairgrounds. There was more odd stuff there than you could shake a stick at. (An odd expression, by the way and not just because it ends in a preposition).

This is a "breast ball". It is about the size of a softball and filled with a red gel. (I know it was red because several of them were leaking.) Yes, it has a nipple. The box says they have "I love you sound" whatever that is. I tried to get one to make a sound and that is when I got red gel all over my arm. EEEWWW. It did feel like a breast, though, especially because they were warm from the sun. Oddest of all, the box warns, "do not hit with bat"! Right. Because THAT would be wrong.

Here are more of the stalls at the "antique" sale. There was a child's quilt that had beanie babies sewn on to it. (The teeny beany, McDonald's kind). The maker must have thought that they stuck out too much, so she cut off the back half of the beany babies before sewing them on. They were then kind of flat. They looked like beany baby ROADKILL! The salesman looked kind of fierce, so I didn't get a photo, sorry.

Saturday was also my birthday, and Paul was out of town, so the boys and I went to Applebee's (their favorite restaurant). Nick told our waiter that it was my birthday, so several of the waitstaff came and sang a birthday song to me. (See? my face is still red). That was odd, but I got free ice cream!

Did you think I was done showing you the neighborhood pets? Not by a long shot. This is Izzy. I met her at (yep) a garage sale. She is a young African spur-thigh tortoise (or something like that.) She was found marching down Hennepin Avenue in Mpls a couple of years ago. The owners call her their reformed "Hooker Tortoise". Izzy is extra bumpy due to poor nutrition in her early years. She is now eating the finest veterinarian-approved diet. Her owners say she is quite curious.

Curiouser and curiouser! (also means odd).

I bought an odd book at the book store (brand new!) It is "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies". This is a VERY odd book. But I like it! Someone has taken Jane Austen's book and added zombies. You will be glad to know that Elizabeth is a kick-butt zombie slayer. So is Darcy, so they have that in common. They have it at the library, if you are interested. I should have picked it for book club, it comes with discussion questions.

I'm spoiled for choice in the "odd recipe" quest. I'm going to have to write a whole posting about that. Here, however, is my favorite birthday treat from my childhood and an odd drink.

Cherry Condensed Milk Pie

1 graham cracker crust
1 can sweetened, condensed milk (not evaporated)
1/3 cup lemon juice
1 can cherry pie filling

Stir together milk and lemon juice until thick, pour into crust, spread pie filling on top, chill before eating.

This drink is like a vodka mojito. I just like the name.

Poison Ivy

1 (6oz) can frozen limeade
1 (6oz) can vodka
10-12 ice cubes
10-12 spearmint leaves

Blend and drink! (Don't drink too many or you may behave oddly).

Kellet's blog

Something for Nothing

The Nerd Demographic

CSI Ramsey

Bittersweet

Makin' Me Nutty

(Up and) Down on the Bayou

Unnecessary Warnings

Santa's Lap of Luxury

Mama, Mama, Holiday Drama

Madness

Celebrate with Bacon!

Bejeweled, Vajazzled and Bewildered

Vinnie's Party/Grand old day

Fishing Opener

Color me RED!

Brilliant!

Laughter is in my DNA

Buy a Lottery!

Eat My Dust!

Church Treats and Oddities

One fish, two fish, red fish, EEEWW fish!

Of Mice and Men

Party Hardy

Tend it like Beckham

What will I do with myself?

20 years on - part 2

20 years on

Get Your Orange on!

Dicks at the Gym

Spotted Dick

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Men love a hot bread product!

Hallow-nutty

Quick and easy

Balls in the Air

E for Effort

NOW, It's Fall!

Something Big!

Rich Folks

One for the books

Squirrelly

The Decline of Print Media (A Long Rant)

Smooth Saling

Chocolate Beggar’s Purse

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Waste Not, Want Not

Blast from the Past

NOW, It's Summer!

Squishy is good

Squash Boring

Ten Dollar Words

Wide-Awake Nuts

Fishing Chicks Weekend

Yippie Koi Yay

Orangutans are Skeptical

Cuckoo or couscous?

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