CSI Ramsey

We had a forensic mystery in the house the other day. The boys brought a strange mark on the wall to my attention. It was in the stairway, and it took me a while to figure out what it was.

It was a double drip of blood! Kind of horseshoe shaped, with obvious dripping. I do watch CSI (the LasVegas edition, I can't stand David Caruso and his cheesy "Smell-the-Fart" acting) so the words "cast-off" and "directional spatter" were on my mind. We examined both the pets, and found no damage. I inspected Mr. Ose for damage and he was also fine. He's kind of a tough guy, flesh wounds mean nothing to him.

At this point, I remembered the bleeding walls in various horror movies (Amityville Horror?) and wondered if Lutherans can make Holy Water or if I had to take a Ziplok over to the Catholic church.

That is when I found what I thought was a grape skin on the carpet. Looking at it more closely, I saw that it had legs. Putting our forensic evidence together, I deduced that the dog must have had one of those really big wood ticks, that had become engorged until it was the size of a grape, like this one:


It must have fallen off the dog while she was walking on the stairs, and then somebody stepped on it, squirting the dog's blood onto the wall. All together now, EEEEEWWWWW!

It is good to know that if I get tired of teaching, I can get a job in the police lab. I like giving you recipes that relate to the blog, so here is a recipe for grape salad. Try not to think about big fat wood ticks when you eat it.

Oh, fine, if that is too nasty to contemplate, let's try this: It took a lot of scrubbing to get the dried blood off the wall. So much so that I scrubbed through the paint. Luckily, we are repainting for Nate's graduation party. The color I chose is called "Asparagus". It is REALLY green.

So today's BONUS recipe for the squeamish is for asparagus. I may never eat grapes again.

Bonus forensic fact: Asparagus will make human urine smell different/strange/extra stinky. Studies have shown that it affects all human urine, but only 22% of people have the autosomal genes necessary to smell the difference.

Grape salad

4# of seedless grapes (green or purple)
1 8oz package of cream cheese
1 8 oz container sour cream
1/2 cup white sugar
1 tsp vanilla extract
4 ounces chopped pecans
2 tbsp brown sugar

Wash and dry grapes. In a large bowl, combine cream cheese, sour cream, vanilla, and white sugar. Add grapes and mix until evenly incorporated. Sprinkle with brown sugar and pecans, mix again and refrigerate until serving.

You can also use fat free cream cheese and low fat sour cream, and 1/2 cup splenda instead of white sugar, and it tastes just as good.

Asparagus with Lemon-Mint Sauce

2 lbs asparagus, trim and steam until tender (I microwave it)

1 Tbls butter

2 Tbls fresh lemon juice

Zest from the lemon

1/4 cup minced fresh mint leaves

Mix butter, juice, zest and mint, heat (a quick zap will do it) until butter melts and pour over cooked asparagus.

Bittersweet

Pinkle Purr

by A. A. Milne

Tattoo was the mother of Pinkle Purr,
A little black nothing of feet and fur;
And by-and-by, when his eyes came through,
He saw his mother, the big Tattoo.
And all that he learned he learned from her.
"I'll ask my mother," says Pinkle Purr.

Tattoo was the mother of Pinkle Purr,
A ridiculous kitten with silky fur.
And little black Pinkle grew and grew
Till he got as big as the big Tattoo.
And all that he did he did with her.
"Two friends together," says Pinkle Purr.

Tattoo was the mother of Pinkle Purr,

An adventurous cat in a coat of fur.
And whenever he thought of a thing to do,
He didn't much bother about Tattoo,
For he knows it's nothing to do with her,
So "See you later," says Pinkle Purr.

Tattoo is the mother of Pinkle Purr,
An enormous leopard with coal-black fur.
A little brown kitten that's nearly new
Is now playing games with its big Tattoo…
And Pink looks lazily down at her:
"Dear little Tat," says Pinkle Purr.

My little Pinkle Purr, Nathan, graduated from high school last week. I was fine until I saw him in his cap and gown and almost didn't recognize him. He looked so grown-up! It's one thing to know that an 18 year old is an adult, it's another thing to see it. To feel it.

When he was first born, a co-worker told me that he would never be as close to me or need me as much as he did that day. That every day, if I was doing my job right, Nate would get farther away from me and need me just a little bit less. It hurt but it was true.

Paul and I did our jobs right. He is going off to Duluth for college in the fall and won't need us to take care of him anymore. But because we did our jobs right, we will always be connected and he will always be ours. (Even if we have to share him)

This is one of those things that"hurt so good". It is right that he grows up, but dang, I'm already feeling the big hole he will leave in the house. Everyone who has ever had a child feels this, it isn't new or unique. Right now I'm concentrating on freaking out about his open house later this summer. I had the first open house nightmare last night. In it, I poisoned everyone with bad tuna salad.

These are Nate's favorite brownies. Use bittersweet chocolate to really feel my pain.


Nate's Brownies

50 caramels (1 pkg)
1/2 cup evaporated milk (not sweetened condensed milk)
1 pkg German chocolate cake mix
1/2 cup evaporated milk
3/4 cup melted margarine
1 cup nuts
1 6 or 8 oz pkg of chocolate chips or chopped bittersweet chocolate

Melt caramels and 1/2 cup milk together. Mix cake mix with other 1/2 cup milk, margarine and nuts. Put half of mixture in buttered 9x13 pan. Bake 6 minutes at 350 degrees. Remove from oven and sprinkle with chocolate. Pour melted caramels over chocolate. Spoon remaining batter over caramel - don't worry about holes- batter will spread. Bake at 350 for 15-18 minutes. It is better to undercook brownies than to overcook them. These must cool before you can cut them.