Bittersweet

Pinkle Purr

by A. A. Milne

Tattoo was the mother of Pinkle Purr,
A little black nothing of feet and fur;
And by-and-by, when his eyes came through,
He saw his mother, the big Tattoo.
And all that he learned he learned from her.
"I'll ask my mother," says Pinkle Purr.

Tattoo was the mother of Pinkle Purr,
A ridiculous kitten with silky fur.
And little black Pinkle grew and grew
Till he got as big as the big Tattoo.
And all that he did he did with her.
"Two friends together," says Pinkle Purr.

Tattoo was the mother of Pinkle Purr,

An adventurous cat in a coat of fur.
And whenever he thought of a thing to do,
He didn't much bother about Tattoo,
For he knows it's nothing to do with her,
So "See you later," says Pinkle Purr.

Tattoo is the mother of Pinkle Purr,
An enormous leopard with coal-black fur.
A little brown kitten that's nearly new
Is now playing games with its big Tattoo…
And Pink looks lazily down at her:
"Dear little Tat," says Pinkle Purr.

My little Pinkle Purr, Nathan, graduated from high school last week. I was fine until I saw him in his cap and gown and almost didn't recognize him. He looked so grown-up! It's one thing to know that an 18 year old is an adult, it's another thing to see it. To feel it.

When he was first born, a co-worker told me that he would never be as close to me or need me as much as he did that day. That every day, if I was doing my job right, Nate would get farther away from me and need me just a little bit less. It hurt but it was true.

Paul and I did our jobs right. He is going off to Duluth for college in the fall and won't need us to take care of him anymore. But because we did our jobs right, we will always be connected and he will always be ours. (Even if we have to share him)

This is one of those things that"hurt so good". It is right that he grows up, but dang, I'm already feeling the big hole he will leave in the house. Everyone who has ever had a child feels this, it isn't new or unique. Right now I'm concentrating on freaking out about his open house later this summer. I had the first open house nightmare last night. In it, I poisoned everyone with bad tuna salad.

These are Nate's favorite brownies. Use bittersweet chocolate to really feel my pain.


Nate's Brownies

50 caramels (1 pkg)
1/2 cup evaporated milk (not sweetened condensed milk)
1 pkg German chocolate cake mix
1/2 cup evaporated milk
3/4 cup melted margarine
1 cup nuts
1 6 or 8 oz pkg of chocolate chips or chopped bittersweet chocolate

Melt caramels and 1/2 cup milk together. Mix cake mix with other 1/2 cup milk, margarine and nuts. Put half of mixture in buttered 9x13 pan. Bake 6 minutes at 350 degrees. Remove from oven and sprinkle with chocolate. Pour melted caramels over chocolate. Spoon remaining batter over caramel - don't worry about holes- batter will spread. Bake at 350 for 15-18 minutes. It is better to undercook brownies than to overcook them. These must cool before you can cut them.