We must suffer to be beautiful

Well, that's hardly a beautiful picture of me, but I needed to show you my eyes. My salon (doesn't that sound nice? Like I go there more than twice a year?) had their customer appreciation party yesterday. Champagne, chocolate fountains and free services made it a cool afternoon. Now, I'm pretty low maintenance, actually, I'm low maintenance with a vengeance, but I love girly stuff like nail polish and makeup even if I don't wear it much.

So I went straight for the brow waxing! The first time I had that done, I asked the waxer if I really needed such a treatment. She laughed and said, "OH, YES!". Hmm.. apparently I was as hairy as a yeti and didn't even know it! So now I have it done once a year (at the free party) whether I need it or not. My guys cannot understand the lure of this. "My, that does sound like fun", said the 15 year old (in that tone that only a 15 year old can achieve). The 13 year old wanted to know the exact temperature of the wax and hubby (wisely) kept his mouth shut, lest attention turn to his own eyebrows. Geez, tweeze a guy once while he's sleeping and he'll never forget it. You'd think it was a cattle prod from all the whining!

Guys are just not tough enough to be beautiful.

There's always room for Jello

Let's talk Jello. Most kids love it, which is why I will make some for Thanksgiving dinner. It will be just plain orange jello, though, cuz that is how this household's only jello fan likes it.

When I was a kid, jello was called "salad". Never mind that the main ingredients are sugar and gelatin, if it is called salad, it must be a vegetable. Most moms of the time even added vegetables to it. This is disgusting. Just because carrots and orange jello are the same color does not mean they go together! We even had one that involved celery and walnuts and cheese, I think. My stepfather's favorite was sliced bananas in strawberry jello. Fruit is a better additive than vegetables, but the bananas always got brown and slimy. Kids hate that. Some church cookbooks have jello salad recipes which feature a mayonnaise topping. Not my favorite. If jello must be topped, I choose cool-whip. These are compatible quasi-food items.

I like some plain foods at Thanksgiving to balance all the fancy stuff. Steamed broccoli, raw carrots, naked jello, that sort of thing. People know what they are getting, and every kid I know prefers not to have surprises on their plates. You should have seen my Nate's face when he thought he was taking cranberry sauce (the sliced, canned kind) from a buffet and instead had a mouthful of pickled beet!

That said, here's a recipe for tarted-up jello. My mom brought this for dinner one time, and it was pretty good.

Buttermilk Jello

1 (6oz) pkg Jello (any flavor, peach is nice with pecans)
3 Tbls sugar (because God knows jello needs more)
1 (8oz) can crushed pineapple - do not drain
2 cups buttermilk
1 (8oz) container Cool-whip
1 cup chopped pecans

Combine jello, sugar and pineapple. Heat on low until jello is melted. Cool mixture and add buttermilk. Fold in cool-whip and nuts. Chill before serving.

If you make this with orange jello, you could substitute mashed mandarin oranges for the pineapple and omit the nuts. I bet it would taste like a dreamsicle.

Wicked Good!

Kellet and sister Sarah at the Orpheum


Wicked was soooo good! I haven't seen a Broadway play in a million years and this one is terrific. The sets and the singing and the story were all I was hoping for.

I went with my sister Sarah and her colleagues. I was a little worried about hanging out with sophisticated downtown business people, but everyone was very nice and warm and generous. I was also reassured that Sarah's boss seems to know what an asset she is. (She's still my little sis, ya' know.)

We ate at Solera, which is right next door to the Orpheum. This is a beautiful restaurant with a Spanish theme. It serves "Tapas" which are little plates of appetizers. This tranlates as "Elf Food". Expensive elf food. Three deviled eggs were $9. There were 6 of us, so we doubled that order. We ordered 10 or 12 of these little plates and shared them all. They were all delicious and fancy, with flavored oil drizzles and fig jam (at least a teaspoon of that) and pretty garnishes. We all also shared 3 miniature desserts. Pear ice cream, Churros (deep fried pastries) and the most sublime caramel flan (custard) I have ever tasted. You will be proud to know that I did let other people have their share of this and did NOT lick the plate (but I wanted to).

The only blot on the evening was my choice of footwear. I chose my outfit with great care, I finally got to wear the gorgeous satin and velvet skirt I bought 2 years ago, with a black velvet top. I unfortunately also chose the black beaded pumps. I thought they were the most comfortable, but I was so wrong! They turned out to be too tight on the front of my foot, so they hurt, and too loose on the back, so they fell off. And the heels kept getting stuck in sidewalk cracks! High powered business women (like my companions) wear heels every day and they walk very fast indeed. I had a hard time keeping up, clomping along and having to stop and put the stupid shoes back on all the time! Yes, I am very sophisticated.

Anyway, it was a fabulous time. The play is much better than the book, which is dark and doesn't have a happy ending like the play. The play also connects better with the "Wizard of Oz" movie than the book does. The Strib has video of the actress (Donna Vivino) who plays the "wicked witch" Elphaba making herself green at startribune.com/video. I hope that made a link. I think this run is sold out, but the next time it comes to town, I want to go again. You can come with me, we'll wear shoes that are comfortable AND glamorous and we'll try another fancy downtown hotspot.

Vampire Literature

I see in the paper that people are going crazy for the new vampire movie and books (Stephanie Meyers Twilight series). I am absolutely going to read that, as soon as I've read all the other good books on my list ahead of it. This list is fluid and rankings change frequently depending on when I get lucky at the library and what I'm in the mood for.

I am somewhat embarrassed to say that I have read a great deal of vampire literature. (I warned you about finding out how odd I am) I was shocked to find out how much of it was out there. Some it it is really good and some is absolute garbage, like any genre, I suppose. Here's a list of what I've read on the subject:

Sunshine by Robin McKinley - Really excellent writing. This was the first vampire book (except for Anne Rice's) I stumbled on and it was so good that I just kept looking for more.

Anne Rice's Vampire Series - I actually found a little boring.

Charlaine Harris's Vampire series (starts with "Dead until Dark) is really good. This is the one made into a series on HBO called "Trueblood". It features a clairvoyant waitress named Sookie Stackhouse and is set in Louisiana.

Laurell K. Hamilton's Anita Blake series ( starts with "Guilty Pleasures", I think) is one I am torn on recommending. It started out great, good characters, believable setting, strong writing, but after the first couple of books, it gets really smutty. I mean downright pornographic, and throughout the whole book. I've read them all, because I like the characters and I want to find out what happens to them, but I am uncomfortable reading such graphic descriptions of sex. You have been warned. The author's other series about Merry the fairy princess is likewise porn.

Tanya Huff's "Blood" series (Blood Debt, Blood Lines, Blood Trail, Blood Pact) is very good. It is about Victoria, a cop with failing eyesight who is helped in her cases by Henry the vampire. Good believable characters and good mystery plots.

Mary Janice Davidson's Betsy Taylor series is very enjoyable. These are light and fluffy quick reads. They move right along and are funny, too. Being set in Minnesota makes them even more fun to read.

Kim Harrison's Rachel Morgan series - This is great, I eagerly await each new book. The book titles are all based on Clint Eastwood movies: "Dead Witch Walking", "The Good, the Bad and the Undead", etc. Rachel is a witch and her best friend is Ivy the vampire. This world includes demons, elves and pixies, too.

Katie MacAlister (The only romance writer I have ever liked) writes vampire romances, too. These are okay, but some are so convoluted and stuffed with mythical creatures that they become confusing.

Other paranormal (but vampire-free) books I like are Julie Kenner's demon hunting soccer mom series (Deja Demon) and Delores Stewart Riccio's "Circle of Five" series about Wiccans.

In my defense, I read a lot and quickly. I do mix up the fun books with books that are chewy and good for me. It's all about balance, eh?

I am so excited because tomorrow I am going to see "Wicked" with my sister. I will wear lipstick and heels and try not to act like a rube in front of her co-workers. I' ll let you know how it goes!

My struggle for slenderness

I'm a big girl. I mean that on more than one level. I try to be a grown-up AND I'm big enough to eat hay. This has recently been brought to my attention by more then one source.

One of the organizers of the infamous bake sale asked me to dress as Mrs. Santa while selling baked goods. When I declined (I know, after all the whining about not getting to go out in costume on Halloween, you'd think I'd jump at the chance, but not to dress as a thousand year old fat lady) and suggested other people, she said they were all too thin, she wanted me! Very flattering.

I babysat for my sister a couple of weeks ago and played with the Wii fit game. This is actually pretty fun, lots of variety in the games and I got to pick a cute blond person with glasses to be me on the screen. Then my nephew set up the fitness test portion and all of a sudden, my little person looked like a whale! She grew before my eyes! Then the evil machine called me OBESE and suggested I work out every day with it. AS IF!

Geez, so I am trying to work out more and eat a healthier diet (see? I get it, eat less move more) although I will still be eating yummy stuff at restaurants. I eat out once a month, I don't think it'll ruin me. I went to the gym yesterday and used an elliptical machine. I like these, they are easy on the knees and you can watch TV while exercising. So I see from the instructions that for a person my age, for fat burning purposes, I must keep my heart rate at 117. Good enough, I fire it up and it seems that to keep my heart rate that low, I must barely move. Indeed, the machine turned itself off several times due to lack of significant speed. If I went faster, it chided me for getting out of the "fat burning range". I finally just kept it moving at a reasonable speed and figured any exercise is good at this point. Probably the more I exercise, the better the heart rate thing will get.

Anyway, yesterday my jaw locked up on me! It was better when I woke up but locked up again during class. Now some people would think this would mean a trip to the doctor, but not me. Every time I go to the doctor, they come at me with the sharp objects! I'd have to be a lot sicker than this to go see those villians. (It's possible that if I went in more often or BEFORE I'm at death's door they wouldn't need the sharp objects, but we'll probably never know.) So I took my favorite cure, (lotsa ibuprofen) and it loosened up. I'll reevaluate the need for medical professionals on Monday. In the meantime, not chewing may result in weight loss! See? It is an ill wind that blows no good.

Eating healthfully involves fruits and vegetables, like salad. My hubby (a dyed in the wool meat and potatoes guy) says "Salad is not food, salad is what food eats".

Here is my favorite salad dressing recipe. Made as is, it is only suitable for one of the low-carb diets or for skinny people with low cholesterol. It's really high in fat, but you could substitute the low fat versions of mayo and sour cream. I might even try that, if I can ever chew again.


Blue Cheese Salad Dressing

4 ounces crumbled Blue Cheese
1 cup Sour Cream
1 cup Mayonnaise (not Miracle Whip, that would be nasty)
1/2 tablespoon dry mustard
1 1/2 tablespoons lemon juice (vinegar in a pinch)
1 clove garlic, minced

Mix, thin with milk if it is too thick.

We live in a world gone mad

I saw this sign the other day outside a pet store. At the top it says, "New Pet Apparel", Then it lists the types of pet clothing they carry. Sweaters, jackets, p.j.s, boots.... Wait a minute! Pajamas? For pets? Jackets and sweaters, ok, little dogs without much fur might need outerwear in the northland in the winter, and I myself have put footwear on sled dogs so the snow will not cut up their feet, but Pajamas? Really? I don't get it. If your dog needs p.j.s, your house is too cold. Nate (my oldest) promises to take away any dog I put a nightgown on.

I think we can lay the blame for this at Paris Hilton's door. Because of publicity showing her carting her wee doggies everywhere, there is a boom in wee doggie accessories. My buddy Chris and I went up to a stroller in Old Navy one day, hoping to ogle a newborn. Lo and behold, in the stroller is a furball (gender and breed unknown)! Now I love dogs, my family would be incomplete without one, but should they wear tiaras and shop at Old Navy? I'm thinkin' not. I don't think they even want to. Dogs play on grass, girlfriends play at Old Navy.

It's a sad day when I have to be the voice of reason!

Meat in the freezer!

Look at that! Himself got a deer. He says it's only a forky, (two year old buck with forked antlers) but it looks pretty big to me. Must have been a big eater. Usually he just hunts with a bow, but took out the firearm on Monday. He has a license for both. So tonight will be the dismembering (all together now...EEEEEWWWW!) Some steaks, some roasts, maybe, but mostly ground for burger. We mix it with cheap hamburger or pork because venison is so lean. I do not participate in butchering, my job is to make room in the freezer and put the nice white-paper wrapped packages in it. Wimpy, I know. My sister-in-law Nicole does the whole thing, from shooting the deer to cooking him up. She is so perfect for my brother - he can't abide high maintenance women.

Incidentally, that is not my hubby's real smile. That is his "I'm-only-tolerating-this-because-I've-been-gone-4-days-and-I'm-hoping-to-get-friendly-later" smile.

I sent this chili with him this weekend. Four guys ate the whole batch for lunch one day! This is amazing because it makes an ice cream bucket full. It's odd how many of my recipes have that as a quantity...... By the way, this is an ideal recipe for using ground venison.


Chili

2 pounds ground beef, cooked and drained
1 cup chopped onion
1 chopped green pepper
1 chopped red pepper
4 cloves of garlic, minced or pressed
(2) 28oz cans of whole tomatoes, chop up the tomatoes
(1) 28oz can of tomato puree
2 Tbls worcestershire sauce
1 Tbls salt
2 Tbls sugar
5-6 Tbls chili powder
1/2 tsp oregano
1/2 tsp cumin
(2) 15oz cans kidney beans (drained)

Combine all ingredients and cook until vegetables are soft. Serve with grated cheddar cheese, sour cream and saltines.

Out of the closet

After writing my blog in secret for a couple of weeks, I gathered my courage and told my friends I was writing one. Thanks to all for your encouraging comments and e-mails!

I have also decided that maybe there have been enough photos of me and posting photos of my kids will not necessarily result in their being kidnapped. (Note to kidnappers: My kids are likely bigger than you and have permission to fight dirty with perverts. If being picked up by someone other than mom and dad, our family password is "Run, I'm a murderer", said very loudly and repeatedly).

Anyway, we went to my sister's house on Sunday afternoon for her oldest son's birthday. That's Sam in the middle of Nick and Nate. (I have permission to post Sam's photo) I was pretty crabby when I got there due to bake sale overload, but man, there's something about hanging out with family. I soon felt much better (it was not the beer, I was drinking Diet Coke).

Tomorrow's episode: Did my hubby get a deer?

Bake Sale

The bake/craft sale went very well, but I'm exhausted! I was up there all Friday afternoon and most of the evening cutting and wrapping and pricing. Thanks to all Mary Ann's help, I was able to feed the kids dinner. All day Saturday was for selling with Mary Ann and Stacy (preschool board member extraordinaire). After we cleaned up the church, I got to check in with the kids again. Put up my feet and watched my favorite "chick flick".

I love "Bride & Prejudice" - This is not a typo nor is it a movie starring Keira Knightly (who frankly needs to be force-fed a sandwich or something). This is a Bollywood adaptation of Jane Austin's story. Yes! The sisters live in India AND it is a musical. So fabulous, it stars Aishwarya Rai, reported to be the most beautiful woman in the world. If she isn't, she's close enough for me. My favorite song/dance is "No wife, no life". Check it out, it's all in english and always cheers me up.

So, this photo was taken Sunday morning when I went back up to church to sell......yep, baked goods! These were all the leftovers that didn't sell on Saturday. Sunday is half price day and things were flying out the door, including me. After getting chewed out by a baked good donor who didn't like the prices I was told to put on his pizzelles, I waited until everyone had purchased and either gone home or into the last service, then put a basket on the table for donations and bolted. Anyway, we made pretty good money for the preschool and the youth group. If there's anything left tomorrow morning, I'll pack it up and mail it to Keira Knightly. There were none of these killer Carmelita bars leftover, because I think they were the best thing there, but they would do little Keira a world of good.

Oatmeal Carmelitas

1 cup flour
1/2 tsp baking soda
1 cup quick cooking oats
3/4 cup packed brown sugar
3/4 cup melted butter
1/4 tsp salt
6 ounces semisweet chocolate chips
1/2 cup chopped walnuts
3/4 cup caramel ice cream topping
3 tablespoons all-purpose flour

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Grease one 9X9 inch square pan. Combine the 1 cup flour, baking soda, oats, brown sugar, salt and melted butter. Mixture will be very crumbly. Press half of it into greased pan.

bake at 350 for 10 minutes.

Let cool slightly, then sprinkle chocolate chips and nuts over crust. Mix caramel ice cream topping and 3 tbls flour and drizzle over chips and nuts. Top with the remaining oatmeal mixture. You will need to break it into small pieces to cover. Bake at 350 for 15 minutes. Let cool completely (like refrigerated) before cutting into 36 pieces.

Double for a 9X13 pan

Get out the vote

I am already done voting! Easy breezy, no lines. Tonight, my hubby will go to vote and cancel out my votes. What matters is that we both registered our opinion. Now, no matter who wins, I have the right to speak my piece.

How was your Halloween? Any leftover candy? (does such a thing exist?) I have a recipe for cookies made from leftover candy. More than one such recipe, actually. This one is for leftover malted milk balls. You could even go buy some just for these cookies, they are pretty good. The malted milk balls melt into toffee-ish bits, yummy.


Malted Milk ball Cookies

1/2 cup butter
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
1/4 cup white sugar
1/2 tsp vanilla
1 egg
1 1/2 cups flour
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1 cup (about 6 oz.) crushed malted milk balls

Crush the malted milk balls in a zip-lock bag with a rolling pin. Heat oven to 375 degrees F. Cream butter, sugars, and vanilla until light and fluffy. Add egg and beat well. Combine flour, baking soda and salt. Add to creamed mixture. Stir in crushed malted milk balls.

Drop by teaspoonfuls onto greased cookie sheets. Bake at 375 for 8-10 minutes or until light brown. Cool slightly before removing from cookie sheets. Appx 3 1/2 dozen.