My struggle for slenderness

I'm a big girl. I mean that on more than one level. I try to be a grown-up AND I'm big enough to eat hay. This has recently been brought to my attention by more then one source.

One of the organizers of the infamous bake sale asked me to dress as Mrs. Santa while selling baked goods. When I declined (I know, after all the whining about not getting to go out in costume on Halloween, you'd think I'd jump at the chance, but not to dress as a thousand year old fat lady) and suggested other people, she said they were all too thin, she wanted me! Very flattering.

I babysat for my sister a couple of weeks ago and played with the Wii fit game. This is actually pretty fun, lots of variety in the games and I got to pick a cute blond person with glasses to be me on the screen. Then my nephew set up the fitness test portion and all of a sudden, my little person looked like a whale! She grew before my eyes! Then the evil machine called me OBESE and suggested I work out every day with it. AS IF!

Geez, so I am trying to work out more and eat a healthier diet (see? I get it, eat less move more) although I will still be eating yummy stuff at restaurants. I eat out once a month, I don't think it'll ruin me. I went to the gym yesterday and used an elliptical machine. I like these, they are easy on the knees and you can watch TV while exercising. So I see from the instructions that for a person my age, for fat burning purposes, I must keep my heart rate at 117. Good enough, I fire it up and it seems that to keep my heart rate that low, I must barely move. Indeed, the machine turned itself off several times due to lack of significant speed. If I went faster, it chided me for getting out of the "fat burning range". I finally just kept it moving at a reasonable speed and figured any exercise is good at this point. Probably the more I exercise, the better the heart rate thing will get.

Anyway, yesterday my jaw locked up on me! It was better when I woke up but locked up again during class. Now some people would think this would mean a trip to the doctor, but not me. Every time I go to the doctor, they come at me with the sharp objects! I'd have to be a lot sicker than this to go see those villians. (It's possible that if I went in more often or BEFORE I'm at death's door they wouldn't need the sharp objects, but we'll probably never know.) So I took my favorite cure, (lotsa ibuprofen) and it loosened up. I'll reevaluate the need for medical professionals on Monday. In the meantime, not chewing may result in weight loss! See? It is an ill wind that blows no good.

Eating healthfully involves fruits and vegetables, like salad. My hubby (a dyed in the wool meat and potatoes guy) says "Salad is not food, salad is what food eats".

Here is my favorite salad dressing recipe. Made as is, it is only suitable for one of the low-carb diets or for skinny people with low cholesterol. It's really high in fat, but you could substitute the low fat versions of mayo and sour cream. I might even try that, if I can ever chew again.


Blue Cheese Salad Dressing

4 ounces crumbled Blue Cheese
1 cup Sour Cream
1 cup Mayonnaise (not Miracle Whip, that would be nasty)
1/2 tablespoon dry mustard
1 1/2 tablespoons lemon juice (vinegar in a pinch)
1 clove garlic, minced

Mix, thin with milk if it is too thick.