Saltiness

I heard some salty language from one of my preschoolers yesterday. The sweetest little girl asked her equally sweet friend if the bunny she was painting had a vagina and a hairy butt crack or did it have a penis and balls?!! After the usual potty talk lecture, the teachers conferred. Both sets of parents had to be told of the incident, obviously, except dads were the picker uppers. My boss is the nicest of ladies, refined and ladylike at all times, how was she going to describe this incident if she had to say "hairy butt crack" to these nice daddies? It just wasn't going to happen. Writing the words seemed too prissy, using euphemisms did not convey the outrageousness of the child's comment. She settled for calling the mommies on the phone. This is of course only one day after conferences in which we assured the parents that their child could not be doing better in any way!

Don't kids just love to make fools of us? Nate's teacher (3rd grade?) had to show us at a conference a lovely drawing Nate had made on the back of a math paper of "dinosaurs mating".It was very, um, lifelike. We were watching every dinosaur special on TV in those days, and this image had stuck in his head.We apologized to the teacher, who was not upset, just amazed, and had a little talk with Nate.

I have a salty joke. Joke telling is not my best thing, I always forget them. Here goes:Did you hear about the "octomom" special at Denny's? 14 eggs, no sausage and the guy in the next booth pays for it. Sorry. Sorry, I know that was in very poor taste.

Paul is out of town so I'm eating ramen and sour cream for dinner. This is delightfully salty!

Nick and Nate have some buddies over tonight for a video game showdown. Or throwdown. Or something. Anyway, the testosterone fumes are making me gag. I'm going to have to open a window.

This is a good recipe using lots of salt. Surprisingly, it does not taste all that salty. This comes from the Strib. I did not make exactly their way, it seemed like a lot of work. Marinate the venison in your favorite marinade if you wish, but omit the salt. Herbs are not necessary in the salt crust. Fresh herbs and grape leaves being scarce in Minnesota three out of 4 seasons (and spendy, too) I just used green onions to go between the meat and the crust. I didn't make the cranberry sauce either, we opened a can of jellied cranberries and called it good.

SALT-CRUSTED VENISON WITH FRESH JUNIPER AND WILD CRANBERRY REDUCTION

Serves 4.

Note: Juniper berries can be found in the spice section of some grocery stores, at Penzeys (three locations), and at some kitchen specialty stores. Do not use berries from your own shrubs because some types are not safe to eat. For the piece of juniper, use only if you have the Common Juniper variety (it grows wild over the northern part of the state). It's for extra flavoring and isn't critical to the success of the recipe (it provides aroma). As for the grape leaves, use these only if you have them on the vine, or stick with the herbs.

• 1 1/2 lb. venison loin

• 1 tbsp. olive oil

• 2 tbsp. maple syrup, divided

• 12 crushed juniper berries, divided (see Note)

• 2 c. apple cider

• 8 oz. cranberries, preferably wild high-bush cranberries

• 1 (4-in.) frond of fresh juniper, optional

• 10 twists cracked black pepper

• 1 tbsp. butter

• 3 2/3 c. kosher salt

• 1 1/2 c. flour

• 1/2 c. lightly packed snipped fresh juniper, optional

• 6 egg whites (3/4 cup plus 2 tbsp. )

• 2 to 4 tsp. water

• 1 c. of mixed leafy herbs, such as sage, oregano or flat leaf parsley, or 2 fresh grape leaves (see Note)

Directions

Marinate the venison loin with the olive oil, 1 tablespoon maple syrup and half of the crushed juniper berries. Refrigerate for at least 2 hours, or overnight.

Combine the apple cider and cranberries and bring to a simmer. Cook until the liquid reduces enough to be level with the cranberries, about 30 minutes. Add the juniper piece and let steep.

Drain through a fine mesh sieve without pushing down on the cranberries, reserving the reduced juice. Discard cranberries and juniper, add the pepper and remaining 1 tablespoon maple syrup, and whisk the butter into the sauce and reserve.

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. Whisk together the salt, flour, snipped fresh juniper and remaining crushed juniper berries. Whip the egg whites until frothy and add to the salt mixture. Mix well and dribble in water until the dough begins to hold together, just as for pie crust.

Lay down a thin layer of salt dough on a sheet tray. Enclose the meat in the grape leaf (or in the leafy herbs), lay it on the salt dough and pat the rest of the dough around the meat, closing all holes. Poke a meat thermometer into the meat and remove, leaving a hole.

Bake until the internal temperature reaches 130 degrees, about 25 minutes. (Go by temperature rather than baking time.) The meat will be between medium-rare and medium. (Pull it at 125 degrees if you want it fully medium-rare.) Crack the crust, remove the loin and rest for 10 minutes before slicing thinly and serving with the sauce.

Nutrition information per serving:

Calories 335 Fat 8 g Sodium 310 mg

Carbohydrates 25 g Saturated fat 4 g Calcium 33 mg

Protein 39 g Cholesterol 150 mg Dietary fiber 3 g

Diabetic exchanges per serving: 1 1/2 fruit, 5 1/2 lean meat.