Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Dicks at the Gym

I've been hitting the gym a lot, (not that you can tell). It's probably doing some good, just inside where it doesn't show. I know I'm shallow, but I'd rather have a smaller butt. Anyway, I have been witnessing some rude behavior at the gym. Worse than not wiping off the machines is loudly chatting on your bluetooth right next to me all through my workout. How am I supposed to hear General Hospital?
I love the steam room, but last month a woman came in, and proceeded to slap and rub herself (I guess to get her circulation going) and blow her nose a lot ON HER TOWEL! EEWW! There are signs every two feet saying not to use your cell phone in the locker-room. This is to prevent people from taking nekkid photos of each other. I , for one, am in favor of this rule. I don't need my butt showing up on u-tube. This does not stop some people. Last week, a very entitled woman (who had taken up half the bench with her stuff, and left her locker door open so people had to duck around it before jumping over the rest of her stuff on the floor) talked for a very long time about how clever she is. She had to go over by the tanning beds to talk because I kept turning on the blow dryer every time she came near me. (I could teach a class on passive-agressive annoyingness). She was using three towels, too! The gym asks that you only use one. I admit that I use two, because I have long hair and don't like to have it drip all over, or to walk back to my locker naked. People are thankful for this.
Here is more rude behavior. Now the attendants have to undo the towel from this key, because
whoever put it here couldn't be bothered to. (Yeah, I know, I used my phone in the locker room! TO TAKE PICTURES! I was alone in the locker room at the time.)

Paul says the guys' locker room is worse. One guy (we call him "junk man") likes to plop his, um, totally shaved JUNK on the counter so he can admire it while he brushes his teeth. Another fellow blow-dries his unit, for a long time.

Last week in the parking lot, I saw a truck with testicles. I was so astounded, I forgot to take a picture, so I got this one from a website that would like to sell you some for your car or truck. They can be purchased in many colors (I almost said they come in many colors!) which apparently enhances one's manliness.
They can be purchased in a light-up version as well (google brake-nutz). I will never understand the male mind. Neither will these women: Truck-Neuter

Today's recipe is for Spotted Dick, which is a British steamed pudding. The name is not meant to refer to the male member at all, wiki says it may be an old corruption of the word "pudding". OK.
I like that this can be boiled in the crockpot, because I don't have time to boil a spotted dick for 3 hours otherwise.

Spotted Dick

Recipe #72087 | 3¼ hours | 10 min prep

Ingredients

Directions

  1. 1
    Mix the flour, currants and grated suet (it should have the general consistency of mouse droppings) very lightly by hand.
  2. 2
    Moisten with a couple of tablespoons of cold water, enough to give a dryish pastry texture.
  3. 3
    DO NOT RUB, only stir enough to bind the ingredients together.
  4. 4
    The mixture can be put into a buttered basin and covered with first a layer of foil, then a cloth (tied on with string), but the usual way is to make a thick roll shape, and wrap it in buttered greaseproof (waxed?) paper, and tie into a cloth.
  5. 5
    Boil in a lot of water for two to three hours on top of the stove, or all day if using a crock pot.
  6. 6
    To serve, slice it into 1" thick chunks while still hot.
  7. 7
    Some people serve it with egg custard, but others consider serving spotted dick with moist brown sugar and a large spoonful of salted butter a must.
  8. 8
    Use both if you like.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

two things:
thank god that there aren't co-ed locker rooms...yuck.

and
i've seen those tally-whacker car ornaments (well, usually they are on trucks) in gold. doesn't every guy wish he had a pair like that?

Kellet Ose said...

Yes, they come in many colors and metals. One website suggests that this is the time to buy the boss a set of brass balls. Nice.