Men love a hot bread product!

This is half of my bread machine collection. Um, yes, I own six of them. I didn't mean to! It was an accident! I received one as a gift 15 years ago and literally wore it out. I replaced the pan once and kept using it until I wore through the internal metal parts. I needed a replacement!

New bread machines are spendy, luckily they are cheap and plentiful at garage sales. I found an exact duplicate (never used, but without the manual) for $5. I also picked up a spare, in case it happened again. Then I saw a better one, it also made quick breads! So I bought that, too. I had thrown away the broken one, so now I was up to 3.

I tried to give one to Reen (my BFF) but she travels light and insisted on trading me hers (she wanted a smaller one and I had a selection to choose from). I was right to need an extra because the one I was using broke a belt. Somehow, 2 more appeared, I don't really remember how. They may be breeding in the garage. (Keeping track? We're up to 5 - one of which is broken).

The day of Nick's confirmation my mother showed up with one her neighbor was giving away. It seems I am now running a foundling home for unwanted bread machines! Please come and adopt one for yourself. Seriously, come and get one, I really only need 2 (one that works and a spare).

I love to make bread. It smells and tastes sooo good, and I like controlling what goes in our bread. No preservatives, more whole grain, etc. I make sandwich bread, pizza dough, sweet rolls, dinner rolls, crescents and french bread. My new favorite machine (the one from Reen) makes quick breads AND jam! I can set the delay and wake up to, or come home to, fresh hot bread.

My guys love this! They think I am a bread making goddess. They are too totally spoiled for commercial bread. Paul says he can smell the chemicals. I can serve a very mediocre dinner, but if there is hot bread......then it's a feast! Make bread bowls to serve with stew and they'll think you are Martha Freakin' Stewart.

Also, in my defense, the rule is, "If you have three or more of something, then it is a COLLECTION." This legitimizes lots of crap. Makes it more of a museum exhibit and less of a useless dust collector. Case in point:

You will remember the golf cart-driving frog from earlier this summer when I issued my "What is the freakiest thing at a garage sale or store" challenge. He was alone, which made him an anomaly. Over the summer I bought him 2 friends (5 and 10 cents, respectively) so now this is a collection! The "weird little animals made of shells" collection. See? You have a new respect for Mr. Frog, don't you? I have lots of "collections" including my newest one, "Christmas houses that don't belong to the same village". (I may need to stop sharing now, or my husband will have me locked up. Or he'll clean out the garage. I always have to inspect the garbage cans after he cleans, he throws away all my good stuff!)

I am happy to announce the winner of the freakiest thing contest: Laura P.! Laura has won with her entry, "The really hideous jar covered in huge shells". Note that the maker took care to make a flower on the side out of the pink shells. Laura cleverly didn't buy this, she took a photo in a junk shop. Good work, Laura!

And here's your prize: A beautiful pink fan made of plastic forks and lace! I'm not sure if this goes with your decor, (Hopefully NOT) but if you get 2 more, then it's collection and it will go with everything!


This recipe came with one of the bread machines. They are all a little different so you may have to tweak it a little, if it over-rises use cold water instead of warm and so on. Lock your doors when you make this, people may come in off the streets when they smell it baking. You can make it even if you don't have a bread machine, of course, but don't you want one? For free? Call me!
(I may have to start leaving them on doorsteps, or plant flowers in them.)

Buttermilk Bread (1 1/2 lbs)

1 1/4 cups buttermilk, warmed to room temperature
3 Tbls soft butter or margarine
3 Tbls honey
3 1/4 cups bread flour
1/4 tsp baking soda
1 1/2 tsp salt
1 1/2 tsp yeast

Put in bread machine in the order your machine specifies (mine likes liquids first) and set it for basic bread. Whoever puts in the ingredients gets the top crust (I don't make the rules, I just report them.) (OK, I did make up that one).