Looky, Looky, I'm a Pagan!

All right, not really, but I did take the Belief-O-Matic test online and based on my answers I just might be a pagan. Not any old pagan, either, but a NEO-pagan. This was my top option! Next was Unitarian Universalist, then reformed Judaism, Liberal Quaker, Mahayana Buddist, and (finally) at #6, mainline to liberal Christian Protestant.

How did this happen? Am I so unsure of my faith? Did I not understand the questions? Is the Belief-O-Matic nothing but bull****? I'm leaning towards that last one, but I'm sure my (decidedly liberal) politics plays a part as well.

I once met a man who (noticing my Vacation Bible School t-shirt) asked me how long I'd known the Lord. I was surprised by the question, and not just because it was a little too personal. (Swedish Lutherans find any question not about the weather to be a little too personal). I have been a member of the Lutheran church all my life! I've been baptized, Sunday Schooled, confirmed and transferred. We were married in the Lutheran church and our children are, in turn, being brought up in the church. And yet.......I take a quiz and it comes up neo-pagan?

It is true that I apparently do not think the same way as others in my church. I cannot stand the local Christian radio station or the music it plays or it's version of the "News". I do not believe that at any time God will put a protective bubble around me. The last time I said this aloud, a very nice woman offered to have people come to my house, lay hands upon me and pray for me. I declined. I find it's better to just smile and nod, but then people think you agree with them. I get some pretty creepy e-mail chain letters, that espouse a mean-spirited "Christian" (I hope that's an oxymoron) point of view and tell me that if I don't pass it to everyone I know, then I must be ashamed of Jesus and therefore Jesus is ashamed of me. Blackmail!

I don't believe that because something is labeled "Christian", that means it is automatically good OR bad. You have to evaluate things for yourself.

I guess I'm a skeptical believer. The writer C.S. Lewis said, "We are not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be." EXACTLY!

And just because I celebrate Beltane in the traditional manner doesn't mean I'm a pagan! I just like being outdoors. With my husband. At night.

I had to get that out of the way before Lent. You can't declare pagan-ness during Lent. Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday and I will be up at church all day cooking dinner for the congregation. The preschool gets the money from the free will offering. This is kind of like working for my paycheck twice, but because I'm salaried, I prefer to think of it as my hourly wage being lower.

I'm bringing these bars. My Grandma Elly used to make these. Her directions said to remove the Brazil nuts because they were too big. I don't know about that, but if Elly says I have to eat them myself, I will do it, for you. No sacrifice too big! This recipe would probably be good with just cashews, too.

Nut Bars

Crust:
1 cup butter or margarine
1 cup brown sugar
1 egg yolk
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
2 cups flour

Cream butter and sugar, add yolk, vanilla and flour and pat into a greased 9x13 pan. Bake at 350 degrees 15-18 minutes until golden brown. Let cool while preparing top layer:

6oz package butterscotch chips
1/2 cup light corn syrup
2 Tbls butter or margarine
1 Tbls water
1 (12 oz) can of deluxe mixed nuts (no peanuts- this is too good for peanuts)

Mix chips, syrup margarine and water in saucepan over low to medium heat until chips melt. Stir in nuts and spread over crust. Bake 7-8 minutes at 350 degrees. Cool before cuttting into small squares.

Facebook Warning

Probably you already know this, but those interesting little games and such on the sides of the facebook pages connect to hard -to-get-out-of sites and monthly subscription charges on your phone! I clicked on one to play a quiz, answered the questions, and entered my cell number to get the results. Big mistake! This signed me up for a monthly charge of $9.99 on my phone! I had to read the fine print to find out how to unsubscribe. (Yeah, honey, I know, you told me so). Once I unsubscribed, I was on a page for matchmaking (really not interested!) that would not go away or let me go back to facebook or any other page. I had to turn the computer off to get rid of that! Pain in the a**.

Public opinion is definitely on my side in the "Do I have too many books?" poll. (It might have been cheating to poll book clubbers and teachers, but I have no shame). Kris asked me about the old children's books. I hadn't heard of the author she asked me about, but my favorites are my Dare Wright books. "The Lonely Doll" and it's sequels have photos of a doll and two teddy bears living together. I also liked the "Teeney Weeney" books that belonged to my Dad. These are about little people that live undetected in the woods in a little village. When I read these to children, I omit the racist content, though. I'm sure it wasn't considered racist in the 40's, but the "chinaman" teeney-weeney lives in a teapot and does the laundry of all the other teeney-weeneys! It is better not to mention how the character of the African-American is treated. We have come a long way, kids today accept other kids' differences much more easily than we did when I was a kid.

"All children are children finally - it hardly matters to which race and culture they belong - they belong first to the race and culture of children" Jim Fergus, (1000 White Women)

Random thing about me #6: I keep a book to list my favorite quotations in. I got the idea from Jan Karon's Mitford books in which Father Tim keeps such a book. If you like that, there are 2 books showing what he wrote down to get you started. I don't remember where I got this quote, "A house without books is a room without a soul." Marcus Tullius Cicero. Or this one:"Where is human nature so weak as in the bookstore?" Henry Ward Beecher

I read the first "Shopaholic" book. I am afraid I was very disappointed. This was recommended to me by 2 friends whose opinions I respect. I didn't like the main character at all. I thought she needed therapy and/or medication. I own this book and the sequel (surprised?) but I won't read the sequel until somebody assures me that it is better than the first one. Life is too short to read bad books.

Did you hear about our MORP queen? Morp is Anoka High School's girl-ask-guy dance. The dance was held weekend before last. (Nate did not go). It seems that the morp queen (when do they vote on this?) rented a party bus on which alcohol was consumed (everybody underage). A ruckus ensued when the school would not let drunk people in the dance. The queen was a large part of the ruckus. She bit a cop and was arrested. The story goes back and forth on whether or not she was tasered or was flashing her thong. There is a photo on Google showing her with a stripper pole. So sad! Who thought this was a good idea? If your (underage) child comes to you and says I am renting a party bus, the proper response is, "oh no, you AIN'T!" Maybe it's easy for me to say since my oldest is only 16, but I don't think I'll change my mind in two years. I am only glad that camera phones and u-tube were not around when I was young and stupid. As it is, I'll never dance in public again after seeing the photo with the big hat taken of me dancing at my mom's 60th birthday party. I was dancing as if nobody was looking......... Sadly, somebody was! and they had a camera!

How many books is too many?

More random things about me:

#4. I have over 2100 books in my house. This includes over 800 works of fiction that I have cataloged (alphabetical by author, 3 categories; fiction, mystery, and science fiction.) Also included are 124 cookbooks and 33 textbooks/engineering books. Not included in the 2100 are the 2(?) sets of encyclopedias in the garage, the boxes of Readers Digest condensed books in the basement shower (they're under the boxes of fabric) or the 28 3-ring binders full of recipe clippings Also not included are the 13 books which are on probation. I have to read them before I know if they are WORTHY of the catalog. (It is possible to have too much Nora Roberts).

Mr. Ose says this is too many books. He has been making me gorgeous oak bookshelves for years now, whenever I start having to stack the books double on the shelves. I hate that because it ruins the alphabetical organization. I buy the books very cheaply, at garage sales and used book stores. I also check the sale area every time I go to the library. (Paperbacks just a quarter!) I can't help it! I love my books! I like the way they smell, (especially the old ones), the multi-colored covers, I love lending them out, (I have a system so I know who has what).

I have agreed to poll my friends. Is 2100 too many? Before you answer, (I may have lost you at the books in the basement shower part) know that I plan to get rid of the encyclopedias and scan the binder recipes into the computer. Nate cleaned his room today and is giving away a big bag of books from the 200 he had in his room. (The Bernd family DNA contains a book hoarding gene).
Also, over 170 of the 2100 are children's books that I need for work. Yeah, that's it, I need them for work! Many of these are mine from childhood, some were my father's childhood books. (That Bernd DNA again).

Random thing #5. I have radar for typos. I see them everywhere! I sometimes correct them in the books I own. I especially hate typos in stores and on signs. Sadly, this radar does not work on my own stuff, so I am always in danger of becoming what I hate in others.

Here's a nice, easy recipe from one of my 124 cookbooks (see? I need them all).

Dump Cake

1 can cherry pie filling 1 (21oz) can crushed pineapple with juice
1 cake mix, dry (white or yellow) 1/2 cup chopped nuts
1 cup melted butter or margarine

In a 9x13 (greased) pan spread the pie filling. Spread the pineapple and it's juice over that, then sprinkle dry cake mix over pineapple. Next sprinkle chopped nuts. Pour melted butter over the top. Bake at 350 degrees for 40 minutes. Serve with Cool Whip. Yum!

Love and Garlic

Happy Valentine's Day! How are you celebrating? We're not doing much since Mr. Ose is ice fishing. He did take me out to breakfast on Thursday before he left, though. We went to the Outpost on Hwy 10. This is a bar I would not have stepped foot in before the smoking ban, but it was not too bad without smoke. We had heard it had a good breakfast and it was surprisingly good. I had the eggs Benedict and they were delicious! Real Hollandaise sauce, not canned, which is an abomination. The waitress was friendly, the food came quickly and was reasonably priced. The guys at the bar thought so, too. They were tucking into the special washed down with beer. Yeah, beer! At 7:00 a.m.! I asked Paul if beer went with eggs and he replied "You are such a girl, of course it does!". (Makes me wonder about those ice fishing weekends). However, we both thought the fellow who ordered 2 Jack Daniels & cokes (that we knew of) by 7:30 was pushing it. Maybe he works nights and it was happy hour for him.

Last weekend's preschool conference included a great presentation on "The 5 love Languages of Children". This applies to every child and I think adults as well. Basically, the theory is that all kids need love, but it most effectively fills their "love tank" when shown in the way they need most.

The 5 ways to show love are:
1. Physical touch- boys need more physical touch than girls, supposedly. Wrestling counts.
2. Words of Affirmation - Praise, words of affection, pet names
3. Quality Time- Making this person a priority is huge
4. Gifts - not just actual gifts, but the gift of a favorite meal or a letter
5. Acts of Service - teaching anything, helping them when they need help, fixing broken things

To discover a person's primary love language, observe how they express love, is it hugs? Saying "I love you"? Wanting to hang out with you? Presents? Doing chores? This is often how they need love shown to them. What do they complain about or ask for most often? Pay attention and give the people you love what they need most - your love.

This information comes from the book "The 5 Love Languages of Children" by Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell.

Also, tell your Valentine something you admire about them today. The sincere compliment is an often overlooked way of showing love. Make it something you haven't mentioned before for extra points.

Cooking something nice is an excellent way to show love, as well. Garlicky foods have a reputation as love enhancers. Really.

"Garlic should be eaten in moderation, less the blood of a man overheats. In truth, if garlic is forbidden, a man's health and proper strength vanish away; but if it is then mixed with food in due proportion, it will bring back his strength"
St. Hildegarde, 12th century

Yes, we wouldn't want a man's blood to overheat. Do be careful when consuming garlic, though. Pizza Hut did a "study" (right around the same time they introduced garlic crust pizza) that showed that men are 50% more likely than women to turn their noses up at a partner who smells of garlic when they haven't eaten any themselves. We will not go into the subject of how men smell.

So, the man has to eat this, too, or Valentine's Day will end up in separate bedrooms. Unless one of you is an engineer, it doesn't have to be exactly 40 cloves. As little as one head of garlic will work. If you like roasted garlic, put in lots, for later.

Chicken with 40 Cloves of Garlic

1 5lb roasting chicken (Pieces work just fine, too)
Salt and pepper to taste
40 cloves of garlic, unpeeled (2-3 heads)
Fresh herbs and/or green onions
1 1/2 cups flour
loaf of french bread (optional, but good)

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Season the chicken with salt and pepper. Put the herbs into the cavity of the chicken if using a whole one. (Scatter them around the chicken pieces.) Put the chicken in a pot or casserole dish with a lid. Those terra cotta ones are perfect. Put the garlic cloves around the chicken, under, inside, in his armpits.
Mix the flour with just enough water to make a dough. Roll it out into a snake the length of the circumference of the pot/casserole. Place dough on the rim and seal with the lid. Bake for 1 1/2 hours. Slice the french bread and squish out the cooked garlic onto it like butter. The roasted garlic has a ton of uses, mash into potatoes, spread on grilled steaks, add to spaghetti sauce, make garlic bread, etc. This is a pretty healthy recipe if you don't eat the skin of the chicken.

Random Things

Hah! I did learn something from Facebook. In an article in the Strib on Tuesday, I read that the LATEST fad is to post 25 random things about yourself on your Facebook page. Get this, I already KNEW! I knew because my techno-whiz friend Maureen has such a list on her page. Can you believe I knew about a trend? Amazing. The Strib wasn't very positive on this trend, the gist being "who cares", but I enjoyed reading 25 random things about Maureen, and I've known her for um...34 years!

Sooo, I will tell you 25 (or more) random things about me. (Did you think this is what I was already doing? Kinda!) I will not however, tell you all 25 today. Then I will run out of material and have to write more about how I'm fat, ugly and nobody likes me. We don't want that, do we?

1. I like to eat barbeque sauce on cottage cheese. For breakfast, usually.
SOME people think this is gross. You should try it, it wakes your mouth right up! This started when I was a waitress at Embers, with french dressing. See? That's not so weird, cottage cheese and salad dressing are friends. But I ran out of french dressing and substituted BBQ sauce and it was good.

2. I love "girly" stuff like make-up, but I'm not very good at it. I woke up one time and mascara was all over my eyelids. I thought it looked good, so I bought grey eyeshadow. Goes with everything. I'm pretty sure this is not how super models choose a "look", though. My sister sells Mary Kay and she always looks gorgeous. She is trying to drag me into the new millenium with the powdered "mineral" make-up. I like it, you can put it on nice and thin. Thick make-up makes my face itch.(yeah, I'm a glamour girl).I love lipstick, too. It feels so grownup to put it on. I rarely wear it though, because my mouth is big and I look like the Joker if the color is too bright (Why so serious?) I bought some of that new "beauty tubes" mascara, too. If I could have only one cosmetic, it would be mascara. This is because I am a natural (dishwater) blonde and so are my (kinda stubby) eyelashes. This stuff actually works! I had nice, long, dark lashes. It takes 2 steps to apply, though, so lazy me doesn't use it every day. Also, it does come off in long skinny tubes when you wash. The first time this happened, I was in the shower in the gym. I looked down at my shoulder (without my glasses) and saw what looked like a spider! So I screamed. (see random thing #3). The other ladies in the locker room looked at me strangely when I got out.(Like I'm the only one who screams in the shower? please).

#3 I scream at scary stuff. This include bugs and mice, but just ones that sneak up on me.

I have a beauty recipe for you:

Brown Sugar Scrub

2 parts brown sugar (smaller crystals than white)
1 part oil (soybean, grapeseed, canola)
optional essential oil for aroma

Mix and keep in a waterproof container in the shower. Do not let water get in this or you have pancake syrup. Rub on your body to exfoliate. Rinse off and shower as usual.

Why the Sad Face(book)?

My book club ditched me! No, not Tammy book club (Kris, Sue, Laura, Gretchen and Cathy), the other one with Deb and Mary. Apparently, I did not get the e-mails that said it was canceled. So I sat there wondering what was up for half an hour. I got ahold of Mary who explained the cancellation and apologized for the mix-up. The funny thing is, I realized as I sat there that I didn't really blame them. I'd more or less been waiting for this to happen all along. (Pity party of one, your table is ready!) Of course, I eventually came to my senses and knew that two of the nicest women in the world would never hurt my feelings on purpose. If they didn't want to be in a book club with me anymore, they would say they were too busy and disband.

This is one of the other things that's wrong with me (I could write a book). I don't trust people. I don't trust them not to dog me, I don't trust them to like me. Especially not the real me. If you think I'm nice, I fooled you. I'm actually evil.

Well, not that evil, but I think evil thoughts. I'm also not as stupid as I pretend to be. Or as religious. Geeez, where was I going with this?

Right, my Facebook page. When my friend Chris told me that Facebook was fun and I should join up, I didn't believe her. My sister said she didn't have time to read my blog, but I should join Facebook so we could keep up. Then I found out all the Tammies were on it and decided to check it out. Sadly, to check it out, you have to join up all the way. Mr. Ose is totally against it, by the way. He's worried about my safety, which is darned sweet. Deluded, but sweet. Of all the things I worry about, stalkers aren't even on the list. Anyway, I sign up, I find my sister, Chris, bookclub and two other friends and I'm done. I sit back and wait for the fun to begin. Waiting for fun. Still waiting.....

OOh, wow, my cousin in Sweden wants to be my friend! Yes! this is fun. Never mind that I already have her e-mail and we don't write, now she's my FRIEND! I write on some "walls", I look for people I used to know. I lack the courage to ask them to "friend" me. They'll probably say no. I wait for fun...I hear that other people have old aquaintances coming out of the woodwork. Some people have hundreds of friends. I have 9. Nobody is looking for me. It's not as great as I was hoping. Still, I keep checking.

When I was majoring in biology in college (see? told you, not stupid) we learned that lab rats will give up on pushing the lever to get food if the food stops coming. They give up if it comes every time. (Then they only push it when hungry.) But the rats will push the lever until their little paws are sore for a random reward! All day long for the random reward! This is me and Facebook. Pathetic.

I read a good book. Okay, 4 good books. "Three Cups of Tea" was good, but slow reading for me. I find it hard to read about good people. Probably because I'm evil. I also read 3 books by Charlaine Harris. "Grave Sight", "Grave Surprise" and "An Ice Cold Grave" were all pretty good. They are about Harper Connelly, who finds dead bodies for a living. LOTS of character development here.

Also, I have a new candidate for worst commercial ever. It is for lunchmeat and features strange people on a plane. At the end, they all march out chanting, "Bang, Bang, choo-choo train, eat lunch meat on an aeroplane". I think I have suffered brain damage from this ad.

Gotta go, I might have a new facebook message!

Birthday at Buca

Last night we went to Buca Di Beppo for dinner to celebrate Nate's 16th birthday. Salad, spaghetti, chicken marsala and pizza were all great. Nate got birthday cake and we all sang "Happy Birthday" to him. He turned a very handsome shade of red.

Today I went to a preschool educational conference (I'll be there all day tomorrow, too). These conferences are put on every year by the ELEA (Evangelical Lutheran Educational Association? Something like that). They are really good. The speakers are inspiring, the classes are totally useful, the ideas are knee deep. I can't wait to get back to school to try some of this out on my little friends.

The first time I went to this conference, I was amazed to find people so much like me. I really fit in here! I dress like other preschool teachers (bright colors, comfy shoes), and I think like them (how can I use this in class?). The only other time this happened was at the MN Quilter's show. Again, bright colors, comfy shoes and looking for ways to apply new knowledge.

Yesterday I was pretending to be a unicorn for a group of 4 year-old girls. I had a ridiculous unicorn garment (meant to be a costume for a toddler) on my head and I was making up a story about the unicorn granting wishes or something. I turned around and saw a strange adult at the door (okay, I was really the strange adult). She was there to apply to be our class picture photographer (luckily, she did not have a camera with her). I felt silly, but it was worth it to see the look of delight on those little girl's faces.

I leave you with this quote:

"If you want your children to improve, let them overhear the nice things you say about them to others" Haim Ginott

In other words, Catch 'em being good!

I've lowered my standards

Today nobody puked on me. Nobody cried, nobody pooped while standing next to me. Nobody sneezed in my face and I didn't have to clean up any blood. I did have to wipe several noses, but that's nothin'. All in all, not a bad day!

Tomorrow my Nate turns 16. Tonight my baby (okay, Nick is 13) is registering for High School! How did this happen?

This is video somebody sent me of a little cutie who likes frogs. My kids were this little just yesterday, I'm sure.