Looky, Looky, I'm a Pagan!

All right, not really, but I did take the Belief-O-Matic test online and based on my answers I just might be a pagan. Not any old pagan, either, but a NEO-pagan. This was my top option! Next was Unitarian Universalist, then reformed Judaism, Liberal Quaker, Mahayana Buddist, and (finally) at #6, mainline to liberal Christian Protestant.

How did this happen? Am I so unsure of my faith? Did I not understand the questions? Is the Belief-O-Matic nothing but bull****? I'm leaning towards that last one, but I'm sure my (decidedly liberal) politics plays a part as well.

I once met a man who (noticing my Vacation Bible School t-shirt) asked me how long I'd known the Lord. I was surprised by the question, and not just because it was a little too personal. (Swedish Lutherans find any question not about the weather to be a little too personal). I have been a member of the Lutheran church all my life! I've been baptized, Sunday Schooled, confirmed and transferred. We were married in the Lutheran church and our children are, in turn, being brought up in the church. And yet.......I take a quiz and it comes up neo-pagan?

It is true that I apparently do not think the same way as others in my church. I cannot stand the local Christian radio station or the music it plays or it's version of the "News". I do not believe that at any time God will put a protective bubble around me. The last time I said this aloud, a very nice woman offered to have people come to my house, lay hands upon me and pray for me. I declined. I find it's better to just smile and nod, but then people think you agree with them. I get some pretty creepy e-mail chain letters, that espouse a mean-spirited "Christian" (I hope that's an oxymoron) point of view and tell me that if I don't pass it to everyone I know, then I must be ashamed of Jesus and therefore Jesus is ashamed of me. Blackmail!

I don't believe that because something is labeled "Christian", that means it is automatically good OR bad. You have to evaluate things for yourself.

I guess I'm a skeptical believer. The writer C.S. Lewis said, "We are not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be." EXACTLY!

And just because I celebrate Beltane in the traditional manner doesn't mean I'm a pagan! I just like being outdoors. With my husband. At night.

I had to get that out of the way before Lent. You can't declare pagan-ness during Lent. Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday and I will be up at church all day cooking dinner for the congregation. The preschool gets the money from the free will offering. This is kind of like working for my paycheck twice, but because I'm salaried, I prefer to think of it as my hourly wage being lower.

I'm bringing these bars. My Grandma Elly used to make these. Her directions said to remove the Brazil nuts because they were too big. I don't know about that, but if Elly says I have to eat them myself, I will do it, for you. No sacrifice too big! This recipe would probably be good with just cashews, too.

Nut Bars

Crust:
1 cup butter or margarine
1 cup brown sugar
1 egg yolk
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
2 cups flour

Cream butter and sugar, add yolk, vanilla and flour and pat into a greased 9x13 pan. Bake at 350 degrees 15-18 minutes until golden brown. Let cool while preparing top layer:

6oz package butterscotch chips
1/2 cup light corn syrup
2 Tbls butter or margarine
1 Tbls water
1 (12 oz) can of deluxe mixed nuts (no peanuts- this is too good for peanuts)

Mix chips, syrup margarine and water in saucepan over low to medium heat until chips melt. Stir in nuts and spread over crust. Bake 7-8 minutes at 350 degrees. Cool before cuttting into small squares.