Spring Opener - It's ON!

Garage sale season, my favorite time of year! Colorful signs on street corners make my heart beat faster. Open house signs give me false hope until I get close enough to read them. It makes me crazy to follow one only to find out that there is no sale, the sign is left over from last week! Take those down, people, or be prepared to show me your garage!

I don't know why I love garage sales so much, is it because it's so heady to know that I can buy anything in the place? The thrill of the hunt? The fantastic bargains? The ability to learn a little something personal about people by poking through their stuff? (who is a foodie, who likes SpongeBob too much, who reads trashy novels, who hasn't cleaned out their closet since the era of huge shoulderpads). Probably a little bit of each. My sister asked me why I was so into them when she was in college. Then she started taking notes. It seems she was writing a paper, for ABNORMAL PSYCHOLOGY! She never did explain which particular disorder I have contracted. Sarah is a very sweet person, but she will never understand why anyone would want to purchase other people's junk. Hah! More for me!

I have scored a Kirby vaccuum cleaner for $5. These go for thousands of dollars new! We've actually bought 3 Kirbys this way. Paul combines the best parts we've got power, power, power!
(Make a "Tim the Tool-man Taylor" noise here). Bread machines also go for $5, as do ice-cream makers, which explains why I have more than one of each of these. I buy most of my wardrobe at garage sales. This is where my logic fails a bit, because I'm no fashion plate. It is nice, however, to know that if the fingerpaint doesn't come out of my shirt, I haven't wasted a lot of money.

I buy lots of my beloved books at garage sales. The price is right, provided the seller knows that hard covers should be $1 or less and paperbacks should be 50 cents. Rich people have good stuff, but they think they should charge a lot more than stuff is really worth. It isn't our fault you paid too much for those shoes, now they are used shoes and are worth very little. Poor people have low prices, but they have gotten all the use out of their stuff already. One more caveat: NOBODY will buy stained clothing, used underwear, or old margarine tubs. (Not even me!) These need to be thrown out or recycled.

One of the best parts of the wild and wacky world of garage saling is the sheer wonder at some of the amazing crap that exists. I have seen housewares that are ugly beyond belief, and yet somebody bought it when it was new! And displayed it in their home! Some of these things are crafty items that somebody spent countless hours on and put their heart into, and yet are absolutely hideous. This tickles me. What were you thinking? Coffee cups with (swinging!) breasts? Socks that play music? Rugs made out of old nylon stockings? Absolutely horrible, yet fascinating.

So, I propose a contest! Who can find the most awful garage sale item out there? You do not have to buy it if you can take a photo of it at the sale. People are going to wonder about you, snapping pictures of ugly lamps, but you can always say you need to show it to your spouse before investing.
Enter as many times as you like, e-mailing me the photo. Winner(s) will be announced in September when the season winds down. To get you started, here is a contestant I ran across yesterday:



This here is a lamp that blows air out of the center, which inflates the handkerchief-like shade. As a bonus, it comes with aromatherapy oils, so all that blowing air isn't wasted. Was it a gift for a parachutist? Who thinks up stuff like this?


Here is the 2008 winner. (Of course I won, I was the only one playing). It is a frog driving a golf cart made entirely of seashells! Couldn't be sillier! I know you want it. So get out there and see what amazing things there are to see (and send me pictures!)