Don't advertise your Man

Mr. Ose read a book! I know, I was surprised, too. He does not often read for pleasure, he prefers non-fiction. He no longer trusts my book suggestions since I got him to read "The Notebook". It seems this "girly book" warped him for life. blah, blah, blah.

Anyway, he has been doing research and downloaded a book on-line and read it. I've never heard of the site, but I have only just heard of wikipedia! There are tons of things to see on this site, where people can send papers, books and documents for others to see. I was intrigued by "The environmental Status of Norwegian Aquaculture" as well as "Antimicrobial Activities of four wild Mushroom Species Collected from Turkey". This last is about fungi in the country of Turkey, not fungi on poultry, in case you were wondering. I also saw a document containing official raquetball rules and one on making your own laundry soap. (I copied that down.) Strangely, several people have up-loaded homemade vampire literature, as well. I mention all this to prove that this is not a website of an icky, pornographic nature, but more of an academic type of thing.

Ahem, um, that said, this was a book on massage. Tantric massage. I am desperately trying to avoid the deadly sin of "oversharing" here, but I do recommend this book. (and Mr. Ose, but you can't have him!) I will just give you the address and leave it at that. (except for this, WOWZA!)
http://www.scribd.com/doc/6117645/Erotic-Massage-The-Tantric-Touch-of-Love

I have been reading, too. My book club finished Tyrannosaur Canyon by Douglas Preston. We all agreed this was pretty good. It moved right along and was interesting. I think the author is planning a sequel, because some stuff was left a little open-ended. Or maybe it wasn't as good as I thought. hmmm.

I read "Gastroanomalies" by James Lileks. Mr. Lileks has written several (hysterically) funny books making fun of old cookbooks and child-rearing books. He used to write for the Strib and I enjoy his sarcastic sense of humor. Ask the library for "Mommy Knows Worst" , "Interior Desecrations" and "The Gallery of Regrettable Food". These are quick reads, mostly photos with snarky commentary (my favorite.)

I also finished "The Pagan Stone" by Nora Roberts. This is the third book of the "Sign of Seven" trilogy. (Previous books being "Blood Brothers" and "The Hollow".) This is about a demon, which I think is scarier than vampires. Other than that, it's the same thing she's written all along (which isn't horrible, she does it well.)

So, I have cabin fever so bad, I can't stand it. So does my bad dog. She has stolen a bag of M&M's from my dresser, (but didn't eat them, she just LICKED them!) and chases the cat all over the house and wants to go in and out, in and out. I need something different, something maybe, JAMAICAN?

Jerk Chicken

Marinade;
1/4 cup veg. oil
1 bunch green onions (cut off roots)
2 jalapenos (cut off caps)
3-4 cloves garlic, remove papery part
1 generous Tbls ground allspice
1 tsp dried Thyme
1/4 cup cider vinegar
2 Tbls soy sauce
2 Tbls lemon, lime or grapefruit juice
1 Tbls molasses or dark brown sugar
1 Tbls chopped fresh ginger
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp nutmeg
1 tsp ground black pepper

Whomp this all up in the blender and pour it over a chicken. I like the chicken to be cut-up, but suit yourself. Leave the skin on. You can take it off later or use skinless breasts if you will grill them quickly. Marinate chicken at least 4 hours or overnight. Spoon it back over the chicken a few times as it marinates. Grill or bake until proper temperature. (175 degrees).

Kimonos are not designed for Swedes

First of all, a warning; Nate got his learner's permit on Thursday! Clear the roads! He only got one wrong, I am so proud. However, how did he get old enough for this? Just yesterday he was a baby, I'm sure. I taught him how to pump gas right away, so I won't have to stand in the cold, haha. It's almost as good as when we taught him to mow the lawn!

I was telling my book club about some of my (many) previous jobs. I promised to share the story of becoming a geisha. Not really, but I did work in a Japanese restaurant.

I worked in a Chinese restaurant, too, during my college years. I worked at the Village Wok in stadium village, by the U. During the day, this restaurant is filled with University students and workers, and the menu reflects this with traditional "Chinese" items such as Celery-and-crunchy-noodle-ChowMein. Shudder, shudder, ick. It's what the people want. And pretty cheap, too. (So are the customers, they should learn how to calculate a tip.) At night, the customers are mainly from the Chinese community and the menu improves tremendously. So does the tipping, there is competition as to who can pay for the family and who can leave the (nice, big) tip. Yay.

Sadly, frat- rats also come in at night. When I worked there, the Wok was open until 2 a.m. We were allowed to lock the door at 1:45, and the fraternity boys and sorority girls would slip in after bar close. They would then order a bunch of stuff and stay around swilling tea until 3, or until they got tired of my very strong hints that they go home. I had classes at 8a.m. and didn't want to sit there with the rest of the staff watching them smoke. I thought it was so rude, to sit there and ask for more tea long after they ate everything and with 6 workers sitting there with their coats on, yawning and wishing to go to bed. I did learn some Chinese, though. Mostly food words and curse words, but you'd be surprised at how handy that is. Fry cooks the world over are rarely well-mannered, and these gents were no exception. Apparently, they insulted the waitresses (especially the non-chinese) a million times a day. One day, I'd had enough and repeated a very nasty curse back. The cook actually turned pale and muttered "I've never heard a white girl swear like that". I got more respect after that, at least for a while. I got fired from the Wok for sneaking free food to Paul. Should have been sneakier!

From there I went to work at the Kikugawa Restaurant. Wait staff there wear kimono uniforms. Now, they do not make these with sturdy girls of Swedish extraction in mind. There is summer kimono and winter kimono. Winter ones have two layers to put on improperly, summer ones are one layer. I was hopeless. and helpless. and hapless, too! A lovely Japanese lady would supervise the uniforming every day, and every day I thought I had put the stupid thing on the right way. I would mince out, proudly (did I mention these wrap tightly around the legs? Not easy to walk in for a girl used to striding boldly across the prairie!) and present myself for inspection. She would "Tsk, Tsk" and tweak the kimono here and there and all of a sudden it would fit better. Not perfect, because it was not designed for girls with, um, curves. Curves are discouraged. After the tweaking came the obi, the wide sash. Did you know a big piece of cardboard goes under that sash? You wouldn't want to be able to bend over or anything, right? Then the sash was wound on and tied, oh, so very tightly. I was reminded of Scarlett O'Hara and her corsets every day, except she didn't have to wait tables in hers. The nice lady would say "I think Kimono is so very comfortable, don't you agree?" I would have answered her if I could have breathed.

The assigned footwear was white nylon (ugh) ankle socks with the big toe separate and sandals. These socks are (surprise) also not made with me in mind. "We don't have any for feet that big!" said the nice lady. So, too-small socks and sandals for me. Now, I hated toe-socks (remember? each toe a different color not found in nature and knit out of the thickest yarn known to man?) from the seventies and made my mom cut the toes off and sew the end shut. I couldn't fit my big feet AND those socks in any pair of shoes. If (all right, when) I go to hell, I will be made to wear toe-socks, listen to rap music, be immersed in cold water and eat bugs.

Day wait staff were of all different ethnic heritages. We were not happy that only people of asian heritage were allowed to serve at night (when the tips were 10 times better). It was thought that customers desired a "traditional experience" and that did not include blondes in (ill-fitting) kimonos. Especially blondes who could not remember not to hike the darn thing up above the knees when in a hurry.

I was allowed to be the cocktail waitress at night, though. Not in a kimono, thank god, because you have to be able to outrun the business men at happy hour. They would all smile, think they were being so, so, original and say "You don't look Japanese". I would smile back and say "Shh, don't tell the boss, I told him I WAS Japanese" Haha. Big tip. When the boss objected to that line, I switched to "I'm from NORTHERN Japan". haha, not such a big tip. The bartender let me have all the drinks she made by mistake. One day she had a fight with her boy friend and made LOTS of mistakes. It's a good thing I took the bus to work, cuz I sure wouldn't have been able to drive!

So, here is a good recipe with an asian influence. If you can't find candied ginger in the white-bread suburbs, you can use minced regular ginger. Try not to worry about the peanut butter in the wake of the recent salmonella scare. If you boil it, it will kill the germs. Trust me, I used to be a Health Inspector !

Indonesian Pork (a crockpot recipe)

4-5 pound pork roast
salt and pepper to taste
1/4 cup honey
1/4 cup soy sauce
1/2 tsp dried red pepper flakes
1/4 cup fresh lemon juice
1 Tbls chopped crystallized (candied) ginger
3/4 cup peanut butter (crunchy or not)
optional green onion for garnish

Put a rack or trivet in the bottom of the crockpot if you have one. Don't worry about it if you don't. Sprinkle meat with salt and pepper. Combine honey, soy sauce, red pepper and lemon juice and pour over meat. (I know, that just washed off all the salt and pepper, didn't it?) Sprinkle ginger over meat and cook on low for 9-10 hours. Remove meat and keep it warm while you make sauce. Put sauce in a pot with the peanut butter and boil for 5 minutes, whisking to smooth it out. Slice meat and serve with rice and maybe stirfried vegys.

Pet Peeves and Peevish Pets

My pets are wrestling. They do this every day. The cat starts it at least half the time. (This is not my cat peering in the oven, I was sent an e-mail with lots of funny cat pictures and I was learning how to put e-mail stuff into other places in my computer. I will show you more of them another time.)

Anyway, I'm crabby. On a fabulous historic day? Yes! My crabbiness knows no season. Well, that is not strictly true, crabby can read a calendar. So this is a cranky day. And I'll share it with you!


The preschoolers were nutty, one (new guy) cried so hard for Dad that he almost puked on me, another one filled his pants and nobody remembers how to listen to the teacher! It's still like Whack-a-mole at circle time, get one to sit down and two others pop up. Today they added running around the room. Seriously like herding cats. I should know because my dog does herd the cat. That may explain the wrestling.

So here is another pet peeve. My husband cuts the cheese wrong. I know, who's husband doesn't have a problem with cuttin' the cheese? This is how Paul does it. Slices right through the package. Then he wants to put it in the refrigerator this way! Strangely, the cheese then dries out, go figure.

Peeve number 2: The dog is bored and is looking for trouble. Never get a smart dog, they are more trouble than they are worth. This week she is after the garbage. We got a metal, lidded can years ago to keep her out, but she knows when we forget to close it. She got pork rib bones last Thursday and was on double-secret probation until Saturday when I decided she hadn't done her guts any damage. She doesn't like being watched when she poops, but she thinks she has to go in the bathroom with me every time.

Peeve #3: I hate the gym. I hate exercising. I hate being out of shape even more, so off I go. As a reward, I love to sit in the steam room. I love being warm all over and feeling my sinuses slam open. So it makes me crazy when they decide to clean it right when I want to be in it! One time they forgot to turn it back on. I'm sure it's a conspiracy. They also play the most god-awful music. Today there was some song whose lyrics seemed to be "Put your hands in the air 'cause I'm gonna rob ya" repeated 1000 times. When it was finally over, I said, "Thank God" and three other women in the locker room said, "Amen!" Please note that at 1 in the afternoon, my gym is full of old ladies like me and no rap-loving teenagers.

Peeve #4: Is there some contest amongst store clerks as to who can send home the most useless plastic bags with each customer? I try to bring my own reusable bags but when I forget them, I am appalled by the number of bags they try to use. The bags themselves are so flimsy as to be almost unusable, so they compensate by putting one item in each. I had to stop a guy from putting a bucket of ice cream (which has it's own handle) in one. I also do not need each meat and egg item and chemical item wrapped in a separate bag. I do not need a bag for a single item, ever. The darn things are breeding under the sink as it is.

Why are the pets peevish? Merle (the cat) wants a water dish in each room and all of the dog's treats. The dog wants to sleep on the couch and Paul won't let her.

On the other hand, Today is a pretty great day. I voted for President Obama and I am hopeful that he will do as good a job as everyone expects, but we are expecting more from him than from any other president I can remember. I am at least confident that he is not a crook, is very intelligent and will keep his mind on the people's business instead of on the interns. I am proud of us, which is better than crabby!

I made a card!

I made four, actually, but one was so butt-ugly that I threw it away.

I have been admiring the beautiful cards that Gretchen and Laura make for years. They make it look so easy!

I already have all the equipment because there is so much overlap between scrapbooking and cardmaking and I hoard every bit of ribbon I come across.

I even have lots of rubber stamps that I am determined to use more often.

This one is a snowman rubber stamp that I colored with markers and put glitter-glue and more, more, more glitter on. Looked pretty bare on top so I remembered that Gretchen puts fiber on lots of cards. So I put on a ribbon and button. Yay! Would have been perfect If I hadn't set it down on another card's glitter glue.


This one I stamped and colored with water color pencils. Then I blended them with the water pen. Looks like a preschooler colored it. (I would know).

More ribbon and more glitter-glue.(I just bought that, it's so sparkly!)

















This one I stamped by coloring the stamp with a marker. I was pleased that this actually worked. More glitter-snow and a ribbon with a moose button that won't sit up straight.

So, this all took HOURS, the whole house is covered in glitter, I'm exhausted and all I have to show for it is 3 cards that I don't know if I can give away. How do you people do this?

I went to Archiver's yesterday. This is a top notch scrapbook/card supply store. I received a gift card for Christmas and couldn't wait any longer to spend it. Didn't take long, I can tell ya'. Should paper ever cost more than a dollar a sheet? I asked Nick when I got home to guess how much the (strangely small) bag of supplies had cost. "Three dollars?" was his estimate. I WISH! Still, it is all so pretty. Now maybe I will get caught up on my 2008 scrapbook (I'm only at May!).

Ouch!

My poor mom broke her hip on Saturday night. WHILE DANCING! After the funeral she and her honey, Roger, went to church and then squaredancing. (She has a much better social life than I do). Due to the slippery nature of her cowboy boots (vanity, thy name is Marie), down she went during a particularly vigorous whirl. I saw the x-rays, cracked right across in two places. Surgery (FINALLY) took place on Sunday night and now, thanks to 3 screws, she is doing really well. You can see how good she looked on Tuesday. (Holding a bag of chocolate, how can a woman heal without medicinal chocolate?). She was quite determined to be let out of the hospital and proved it to the powers that be. They sent her home (to Roger's) on Wednesday. She has an unnaturally high pain tolerance, and the danger now is that she will overdo it. She is not to put weight on it for 2-3 months! RIIGGHHTT! I am making her a sock for that foot with tacks in the toe. My mom is a little embarrassed about this, she says only OLD ladies break hips. I told her it is a sports injury and now she will (temporarily) be a coach.

It is also painfully cold here in the northland. With windchill, it was 50 below zero this morning. We cancelled preschool, it's ridiculous to bring little ones out if you don't have to.


Here is a nice warm dinner. I was in the mood for something different, that didn't involve campbell's soup! This is a recipe I've had for a long time, but don't cook very often because Paul is suspicious of polenta.

I like it because it is gooey without being too cheesy. Cheese is one of my favorite foods, but I'm trying to cut down. Go ahead and use more parmesan (my mom calls this parmeesian cheese) if you want, no sense being a martyr. I use cornmeal instead of real polenta because we're rubes and can't tell the difference, if there is one. The recipe calls for 4 egg yolks, but unless you have a use for egg whites, use 2 whole eggs. It is just fine that way.

Poulet a la Polenta (Chicken and cornmeal)

6 boneless, skinless chicken thighs OR 4 boneless, skinless breast halves, cut into 1 inch pieces
2 medium onions, peeled and thinly sliced
1/2 pound (1 package) mushrooms, sliced or quartered
1 Tbls vegetable oil
1 large can (28 oz) diced tomatoes
1 quart milk
1 1/2 cups cornmeal
4 egg yolks or 2 whole eggs

Cook chicken, onions and mushrooms in oil until lightly browned. Add tomatoes and cook for 20 minutes to reduce liquid. Preheat oven to 500 degrees.
In another saucepan, heat milk to boiling, add cornmeal and whisk over heat for 10 minutes. (or less). Pour polenta into oven safe dish and spread evenly. Taste chicken mixture for seasoning and pour over polenta. Sprinkle with cheese and bake for 15 minutes. Serve with something nice and green, like spinach salad. Serves 4-6

My condolences

My sister, Sarah, lost her father-in-law this week. Gosh, he was a great guy! He was a rare individual who knew he was blessed and appreciated his blessings. I think the entire town of Litchfield turned out for the funeral. Over 400 people came to the wake. The Pastor cried all the way down the aisle at the end of the funeral. Walter will be missed. Go and tell the people that you love how much you love them right now. I'll wait....

Did you spread some love? Good, Walt would like that. What he wouldn't have liked was the awful food served at his funeral. I couldn't eat it, and God knows I'm not picky. It is not a good sign when you can smell burnt hotdish from the choir loft. There was good cake, though. I didn't eat that either, (I'm watching my calories), but I heard it was good. My Grandma Elly made great cake. She used chocolate frosting, but at the funeral there was chocolate cake with marshmallow cream on top, covered with chocolate icing. It looked nice. I don't know who Myrna was, but she made good cake.

Myrna's Moist Chocolate Cake
(makes 1 9x13, 2 round layers or 3 doz cupcakes)
2 cups sugar
1/2 cup shortening
2 eggs
2 squares melted unsweetened chocolate (OR 6 Tbls cocoa powder and 2 Tbls oil or shortening)
2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
2 cups flour
1 cup buttermilk
3/4 cup warm water
1 tsp vanilla

Mix all ingredients and put into greased and floured pan(s). Bake a 9x13 at 350 degrees for 30 to 35 minutes. Layers and cupcakes will take less time. Frost as desired.

Kellet's book corner

Prediction: Ann Coulter (conservative writer and speaker) will say something completely outrageous in the next month. She has a new book out, you see. She's no ditz. She says something that makes people gasp ( for her last book she criticized war widows) and the media goes crazy. Her name and new book are all over every newspaper, talk show and blog in the nation. For FREE!
Donald Trump pulls this, too, whenever he has a new TV show. I personally cannot stand Ann Coulter, (I think she is too mean and I disagree with her politics), but I do admire this publicity strategy. She just doesn't care what anyone thinks.

I would like to be a little more like that. To be that confident? Or arrogant? That would be amazing. Actually, what I think I would like is the ability to insult people on purpose instead of by accident. I just can't speak up when people need to be put in their place, instead I inadvertently insult nice people that I had no intention of insulting. Something else to work on!

I have so many books piled up to read, I may never get anything else done. I just finished "The Winding Ways Quilt" by Jennifer Chiaverini. This is a good series about quilters. I like the ones that take place in the present time, the historical ones are not as interesting to me.

I also just finished "Zen and the Art of Vampires" by Katie Macalister. This is a series that has some good books and some misses. This one was good, within the limits of the genre (vampire romance books). I don't read a lot of romance books, I find many of them to be the same, just change the names of the characters. I also get tired of the heroines being tiny virgins. Hello? Who do they think the market is made of? Not tiny virgins, I bet. Katie Macalister writes funny romances with heroines I can identify with. I loved "The Corset Diaries" and "Hard Days Knight". She also writes a series about people who are dragons and some young-adult stuff.

I'm in the middle of "The Witch's Grave" by Shirley Damsgaard. This is the sixth in the Abbey and Ophelia series. Not to-die for, but entertaining. Abbey is Ophelia's grandma and they are both psychics and solve mysteries. This won't take long to finish, which is good, because I have 2 books to read for my book clubs, and lots of new stuff is coming out.

I don't only read trashy and/or fluffy books. I mix it up with good-for-your-brain books. One good book I read over a year ago was "Love Letters to a Child" by Tracey Finck. This is a non-fiction book about journaling to your child. The author kept a notebook and wrote only positive things in it to her kid. The kid wrote back. She says it was sometimes the only way they communicated during difficult periods. When the child left for college, the journal was the first thing she packed. She told her mom that she read it over and over when she was sad or lonely. This is such a great idea! Wouldn't you love to have a book filled with nice stuff about you written by someone who knows you well? I ran right out and bought 2 journals to write to my boys. Problem is, I still haven't started them! (Oh goody, another resolution.....)

I went to a meeting last night, about the craft boutique. We met at Luann's house, so we could drink wine. I had never been to her house before, and when I got there, I thought there weren't enough cars, so I had the wrong house, so I backed down the driveway right into the ditch. ARGHH! "Hi, it's Kellet, I won't be staying as I have to go dig my car out of your ditch, but here's the appetizer I made!" In my defense, Luann says the driveway has a wicked curve and I'm not the first (or even the tenth) person to go in the ditch. Paul came and yanked me out with a log chain and his truck. I parked on the street. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't needed to be yanked out of a different snowbank on Sunday. Don't you think it is slipperier than usual?

Anyway, the ladies really liked the appetizer. I served it on a wooden plate and decided it looked like what elves bring to a potluck. It was lighter and different than all the holiday appetizers that I'm tired of.

Stuffed Pea Pods

Snow Pea pods (a handful or two)
flavored cream cheese (garden vegetable is nice)
Blanch the peas in boiling water for 15 seconds or so. You just want to take the raw edge off, not make them floppy. Scoop them out and dump into ice water to stop the cooking. Stick the tip of a knife into one end and slide it along the seam. Now you have a little canoe. Soften up the cream cheese (low fat would be fine) and pipe it into the pea pod with a cake decorating bag/tip. You can also use a zip-lock with the corner cut off, but it's not as fancy.

I've already got one, you see

As I was faxing a copy of my work contract to a banker last week, (we're refi-ing) I noticed a little problem. I work at a church preschool, and my contract reflects that. In addition to specifying my wage and the expectation that I will behave myself, it states that the congregation is obligated to me as well. Now I like this, it makes me feel supported and connected. The problem lies in a tiny typo. The third paragraph reads: "The congregation will give you the respect, lover, goodwill and cooperation due to you...".

Yes, read that again. The congregation owes me a LOVER! Hmmmm..... Do I get to choose? (Paul says I should ask to see the new MEMBERS!) I asked the church matriarchs this as they were changing the altar cloths. Myrlette wonders if I need to see a resume. Sheryl says I cannot have hers as she has already worn him out. Luann says it is obviously a matter for the executive committee. Oops, that's a little worrisome, those jolly jokers are capable of having some guy show up at my door and announce that he is my new lover. What will Mr. Ose say then? I'll say "I've already got one, you see" in an outrageous french accent. Since Paul cracks up at Monty Python every time, I'll have time to renegotiate for maid service instead of paid lovin'. I'd much rather have someone do the dishes anyway.

I spent most of Saturday morning at Borders bookstore, deciding how to spend a gift card. I pile everything I like into a basket and then sit down and pick and choose. I write down the names of the ones I cannot buy, so I can try to get them at the library or buy them next time. This takes a long time. That's good, because it's so much fun! I poke through everything. There is a book with nothing but pictures of cats in it, with sarcastic comments supposedly made by the cats. It was so funny, but I did not buy it since I read it there.

This is a magazine about cheese. Yep, nothing but cheese! A whole magazine, with more issues to come! It's a little odd, but not awful.



This is a quilting book with cocktail recipes. Now, that's odd. I have tried to drink and quilt before, but I end up ripping out all the stitches later because I've sewn stuff on backwards or crooked.

I did buy "The Outlandish Companion". I have wanted this for a long time, but it was $30. Luckily, I had a good coupon and a gift card. Yay, now it's mine! This is a non-fiction companion volume to Diana Gabaldon's "Outlander" series, my favorite books of all time. There are like 7 or 8 of these books and they're huge. They are also well written and enthralling. Run to the library and get the first one, "Outlander".

Of course, if you do that, you won't want to stop reading to cook dinner. I can help you out here (only fitting, if I'm the pusher who gets you hooked on Claire and Jamie books). Try this way easy recipe. It's yummy and you can cook it three different ways. The way it's written (from Auntie Dawn's church cookbook) or at 350 for 2-3 hours (covered) or in the crockpot all day. The juice that is leftover in the pot is really soup! Add vegetables, mushrooms and barley and you've cooked 2 meals. Thin it out with broth or water if it's too thick.

Coke Roast

2-5 lb beef roast
1 envelope dry onion soup mix
pepper to taste
10 Tblsp Ketchup (2/3 to 3/4 of a cup)
1 can Coca-cola (use regular, you don't want to boil your food with all those chemicals, do you?)

Place roast in pan, sprinkle with pepper and onion soup mix. Bake in 400 degree oven for one hour. Remove from the oven and pour ketchup on meat. Pour the coke over. Cover the pan and return to the oven at 300 degrees. Bake for about 3 hours. If desired, place potatoes and carrots around the meat for the last hour.

I'm lazy and I eat bad food

Years ago, one of my husband's sweeter relatives had an important job interview. The interviewer asked something along the lines of, "What is your biggest drawback as an employee?". You are supposed to answer something that turns a drawback into a strength, "I am such a great team player that there are fights over who gets me on their team"...blah blah blah. It's a stupid interview question because we all know it's coming.

Except the relative who answered "I'm lazy and I eat bad food".

Needless to say, he didn't get the job. I take the blame for the bad food part, I was trying to teach him to cook healthier stuff than the fast food he was living on, but I don't know where he got the self-label of lazy. He got kitchen stuff again this Christmas, but doesn't seem to want to learn to cook yet. On the bright side, he is learning how to lie! There is definitely a job in corporate America he'd be perfect for.

Anyway, I think about his answer at resolution time every year. "I'm lazy and I eat bad food" just about sums up what I need to change about myself. Add "Learn to shut my yap" and you have it all in a nutshell.

How depressing! What we need is a national holiday when we celebrate what we're good at. At noon, we all run out on the front lawn and yell self-affirmations. "I'm a great mom!", "I'm an excellent driver!", "I really care about my friends!", etc. We will send greeting cards that identify positive traits in each other, no, wait, postcards, they're cheaper and more public. "You are a talented gardener!", "We appreciate your volunteer work in our community!", "You are a snappy dresser!", etc. I think this could catch on. Instead of "Happy Holidays" we'd say "Good on ya', mate!" like Australians. We'd all sing "Thank Goodness" from "Wicked" for the official carol.

O.K., now I'm just talkin' smack. Bears thinking about, though. A positive reinforcement mindset. Works with kids and dogs, maybe it'd work for everybody. Just in case:

You're all nice people and I value your friendship! And you look great!

So, I couldn't stand it another minute and took the tree down last Monday. It was a pretty tree, but I start to hate them the day after Christmas. Plus, it was dropping needles like rain.
















Look at it after we took off the decorations! Not a single needle left! Can you say "Fire Hazard"?

















The boys and I went to the MN History Center on Tuesday.

Always check the museum pass kiosk at the public library before going to a museum like this. We got the pass and saved $15!

I liked this space capsule exhibit. It was like being in "I Dream of Jeannie"'s bottle. They showed a film on the ceiling.













This was a demonstration of horsepower. If you push hard enough, the lights go on all the way up and a horse neighs. This is apparently very cool if you are a guy. They had to do it several times.










New year's Eve we had a "Hellboy" marathon. There are 2 of these movies and they are not bad. We also had chocolate fondue.

Book review: Finally finished "Pillars of the Earth". Hated it. I have never read a book with so many rape scenes! That William needs to get another hobby. 1000 pages of raping and church corruption. Not uplifting. The worst thing is that I made 2 nice ladies in my book club read it, too! The meeting is tomorrow and I will be eating crow with my coffee. Because I have recently declared that it was my turn to pick the book because I hated the last book due to the (one, single) rape scene. The universe conspires to teach me humility.