Sunday, January 4, 2009

I'm lazy and I eat bad food

Years ago, one of my husband's sweeter relatives had an important job interview. The interviewer asked something along the lines of, "What is your biggest drawback as an employee?". You are supposed to answer something that turns a drawback into a strength, "I am such a great team player that there are fights over who gets me on their team"...blah blah blah. It's a stupid interview question because we all know it's coming.

Except the relative who answered "I'm lazy and I eat bad food".

Needless to say, he didn't get the job. I take the blame for the bad food part, I was trying to teach him to cook healthier stuff than the fast food he was living on, but I don't know where he got the self-label of lazy. He got kitchen stuff again this Christmas, but doesn't seem to want to learn to cook yet. On the bright side, he is learning how to lie! There is definitely a job in corporate America he'd be perfect for.

Anyway, I think about his answer at resolution time every year. "I'm lazy and I eat bad food" just about sums up what I need to change about myself. Add "Learn to shut my yap" and you have it all in a nutshell.

How depressing! What we need is a national holiday when we celebrate what we're good at. At noon, we all run out on the front lawn and yell self-affirmations. "I'm a great mom!", "I'm an excellent driver!", "I really care about my friends!", etc. We will send greeting cards that identify positive traits in each other, no, wait, postcards, they're cheaper and more public. "You are a talented gardener!", "We appreciate your volunteer work in our community!", "You are a snappy dresser!", etc. I think this could catch on. Instead of "Happy Holidays" we'd say "Good on ya', mate!" like Australians. We'd all sing "Thank Goodness" from "Wicked" for the official carol.

O.K., now I'm just talkin' smack. Bears thinking about, though. A positive reinforcement mindset. Works with kids and dogs, maybe it'd work for everybody. Just in case:

You're all nice people and I value your friendship! And you look great!

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

You, Kellet, are an awesome blogger! Don't ever stop!

PNO said...

I'm Pretty sure that you aren't qualified to "Talk Smack" as you have too little "Street Cred"...

Sue Nordquist said...

This summarizes my life. Thanks for clarifying that for me.